|
cloudboy -> RE: Brand New Day! (2/24/2007 10:44:10 PM)
|
I suppose, too, there is another school of thought that the more control you seek to exercise over one's interactions with others, the less you actually have. The platform of control you describe is based on mistrust, and I think mistrust begets mistrust.
The authoritarian parent comes to mind, whose child must abide by a myriad of rules, so that the child grows up "right." What the parents get in the end is the child who looks "right." One who acts right under controlled circumstances.
The child with less rules, more freedom, and many wayward temptations who acts "right" --- is most assuredly what he appears to be, for he has the freedom to be "wrong." In this case, the parents know they aren't seeing a mirage. The danger, of course, is that the child will misuse his freedom and make the wrong choices.
My thinking here may not translate into D/S, but I think fidelity is best measured by real competition, and being chosen as the winner. The loyal sub is the one with the privacy to pursue another relationship, with the opp't to find another woman, and the ability to jump ship --- but who measures his choice not to do so. In this way life itself free and clear makes the decision.
Yes, it is sexy and alluring to think of a Mistress securing her property, her slave, and controlling his life, owning his freedom and dictating how he might exercise it. Maybe that's the BDSM grail, but I can also see it all from another POV as well, where the sub doesn't need to be overseen and controlled in his relations to others.
In practice, what you have described is marital relationship. The wedding announces to the whole world that "its hands off my spouse." Ironically, its the absence of competition, the absence of freedom, and the tyranny of life long monogamy that often saps marriage of its real spark and compromises the level of honesty between marrieds. In the end, sometimes, you just find people maintaining appearances.
|
|
|
|
