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How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 8:34:46 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline 		Lately, I've been making a lot of new friends outside my general scene circle and have met several collared Female submissive/slaves in the mean time. I've been in my local scene 5 years. I'm not accusing all submissives of the following behavior. I'm speaking from the experiences I've had with some of the new submissives I've met over the last 6 months or so.

There seems to be an arrogance about the fact that there is a collar around their neck and not mine. Yet, they bitch and complain about Master incessantly. The wish list of what they want, but are unable to articulate in order to get from these men is endless. Just because I'm not collared, it appears that they think I'm going to participate in their whine fest, but I don't.

I'm strong, upfront, and direct. I'm never the little subbie waiting around for the Doms to pick me. I am not judging those who fit this profile, I simply am stating what I'm like.

However, this does not mean that I am not, by nature, a submissive. And with that nature, comes a certain protocol. Just because I'm assertive doesn't mean that I think it's my place to supercede the implicit contract between a Dom and his collared submissive. Apparently, I'm supposed to join in on the bitch and complain fest and make her think she's right. I don't know if she's right. What I do know is that she's bitching and complaining to the wrong person.

I am not a eunich. By virtue of the fact that I am not collared to someone does not make me any less a submissive as a girl in a collar. I'm tired, really sick to death, of listening to the complaints from these girls who've found someone who has, as much as I can tell, earned a Master's collar.

I'm just tired of it. I'm tired of the whole passive-aggressive behavior that I've been seeing and experiencing from collared submissives. If you aren't happy, take the collar off. If you can't talk to Him about your frustrations, your concerns, your fears...perhaps it's not the right collar for you. I don't know what bitching and complaining to me is going to do for you.

It's certainly all right to bounce thoughts off someone, to ask advice about how I might handle a situation. But this isn't the case. I'm happy to offer suggestions, but these conversations haven't been mutual.

I've been active in this lifestyle for 5 years. I've been in 2 collars. I would never think to disrespect that collar and take my issues outside the relationship. I bought into the idea that D/s relationships were ALL about communication. When I had an issue, was unhappy with something, I brought it to my Dom. I made my feelings known, and 99% of the time it was discussed. I did not always get my way, things did not always change to may liking; however I generally got more information about why the situation that was unhappy with existed and got a better understanding of what it's place was in the relationship.

If we don't have the basic respect for our Dominants to trust them and honor the fact that WIIWD has to be based in trust and communication with the person who we have allowed to put their collar on us, then what makes this any differant from Vanilla? The common courtesies and protocols seem to be being met during the courtship but apparently fail to continue after the collaring because it seems to be viewed by many submissives as a prize.

Wearing a collar is not enough. You really have think about honoring that collar through your behavior.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 8:44:52 AM   
pineapplesub


Posts: 39
Joined: 11/23/2004
Status: offline 		I have an idea what you are talking about. However, them bitching could be just that- Bitching. When you are with someone a lot, frustration *does* tend to build up. They may just need to complain about it and get some relief. They may not actually believe all those things, but may just be little things that are aggravating them at the moment... It could even be things they don't want to change, but just something that they really need to vent about. I have vanilla friend who does it to me. Do i think it's right that they are sharing it with everyone? No, because it makes their Top look bad, when that might not be how things really are. But if it was with just one or two close friends, i think it would be understandable. So, just take it at face value... A frustrated person who needs to vent. Just a thought. :)

~valarie~

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 8:46:13 AM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I would never think to disrespect that collar and take my issues outside the relationship.


Oh and an amen from this corner. If you have problems with your dominant....HE/SHE is the one to take it to...not me. I refuse to get involved in those types of discussions. Bring it to me and the only thing you will get is a loss of respect on my part.


best regards,
fate




_____________________________

Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 8:55:46 AM   
Shayna


Posts: 205
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline 		Collar or no, people have varying abilities to communicate their needs in intimate relationships. I understand what you're saying, but my short experience in the world of D/s relationships is that I don't see anymore ability to be clear, direct, honest and make healthy decisions than I do in vanilla relationships. It is rare to run across someone I've considered as a Master, or now as a submissive, to be articulate and direct with me. It is frustrating. Personally, I get impatient with whining - it just keeps one stuck in what they claim they aren't happy with.

I think women may gravitate to you to confess their frustrations because they see your strength and directness and perhaps they WANT you to give them a kick in the ass...I've seen that dynamic with others around me.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 9:23:24 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

they bitch and complain about Master incessantly. The wish list of what they want, but are unable to articulate in order to get from these men is endless


My dear friend Lil,
Although we've only chatted on-line and interacted in these forums I KNOW you have more confidence in who you are than to worry about ANYONE's opionion of you, so I know that's not bothering you. But we've also seen this behavior at clubs. beth & I think of it as one of the last bastions of vanilla-ism for people in the lifestyle. beth refers to the woman as "THAT - Girls". The "Desperate Housewife" defines it best.

Part of the essential "THAT - Girl" behavior is complaining about their mate. Master just replaces husband or significant other. Isn't complaining about their mate the ONLY reason people go to Tupperware, Party Lite candles, or even Princess House Crystal; parties. (Do they still exist?)

Interestingly I've never noticed the male side of a lifestyle relationship carry forward the male vanilla equivalent of complaining about the slave/submissive. That may be because in our groups the slave is right there serving. What's to complain about!!?

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 9:34:31 AM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Isn't complaining about their mate the ONLY reason people go to Tupperware, Party Lite candles, or even Princess House Crystal; parties. (Do they still exist?)


Holy smokes, batman! You mean I was supposed to complain???? And all this time I was going for the merchandise. Who knew????



best regards,
fate


_____________________________

Vision? What do you know about MY vision? My vision would turn your world upside down, tear asunder your illusions and the sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you! Now ask yourself, are you really ready to see that vision? [/size

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 9:38:18 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I think women may gravitate to you to confess their frustrations because they see your strength and directness and perhaps they WANT you to give them a kick in the ass...I've seen that dynamic with others around me.


Well there's a scary thought. I had a friend who did this to me. Her boyfriend actually physically abused her. They were D/s but I don't recall punching someone and giving them a bloody lip as part of the game. Anyhow. She was miserable and would cross the street and come to my house and cry and tell me how mean he was to her. And then the whole "but I love him" routine would begin. I never told her to leave him. I did tell her that if this didn't make her happy, she should take control of her life again. I felt like I was talking to a wall. Our friendship suffered, we grew distant. She stayed with him for another 2 years.

Today she is with someone else, apparently from what I hear, a guy who is good to her. She had to go through what she had to go through I guess. I think at the time, she actually like the drama she was in. I think deep down she loved the intense energy, even if it was negative.

I think the best thing we can do when someone whines and complains to us about something is turn the question back to them. Or refuse to discuss it if it makes us uncomfortable or we get sick of it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily
I am not a eunich. By virtue of the fact that I am not collared to someone does not make me any less a submissive as a girl in a collar.


I know what you mean Lily. There seems to be a lot of competition amongst women (well maybe there is amongst men too, but never having been a man, I haven't experienced it). There are a lot of women in my everyday life that are engaged and planning weddings at the moment. I seem to be excluded from that discussion. In a way it's a blessing because I don't know how long I can talk about a wedding before my gag reflex kicks in. But the fact remains that I did feel at times like there was an air of superiority from these girls. One even said to me "well once you find that guy, you'll want to get married too". Ugh! How patronizing.

I would add that I think communication is essential to any relationship, vanilla or other. Unfortunately, people need to get over being passive and/or aggressive and learn to be assertive. I think this is a problem that spans way beyond the realm of wiitwd.

- LA



_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Shayna)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 9:59:13 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I think its partly a female thing, we're vicious and love pecking orders.

I see the same thing all the time, and wonder what would happen if we suddenly were not allowed to wear collars AT ALL. How would they feel? Would they be so secure? I think people put so much into having "that collar" that the relationship itself is a sidebar.

But it's not going to change. I'm not one to generally condone catty behavior, just make it a point to show how happy YOU are with all of your exploits and fun.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 10:34:08 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily
There seems to be an arrogance about the fact that there is a collar around their neck and not mine. Yet, they bitch and complain about Master incessantly.

This sounds a lot like women who are married to someone they think elevates their social status, who go around flaunting the ring, while at home drinking and drugging to be able to go to sleep or get up in the mornings; sounds like bliss, doesn't it?

quote:

I'm strong, upfront, and direct. I'm never the little subbie waiting around for the Doms to pick me.

This is why they flock to you, they want to find that comfort zone that says I'm kool weather I have a collar on or not; unfortunately it's not something you can pass on by co-bitching, or nodding yes to complaints like "Master doesn't understand this, Master doesn't do that"... but how do you explain self love/respect 101 which took your whole life to acquire.

quote:

I'm tired, really sick to death, of listening to the complaints from these girls who've found someone who has, as much as I can tell, earned a Master's collar.

That shows your good judgement, and partly is the reason they gravitate to you, and even if you gave them the advice they needed, they wouldn't take it.
I have a coworker (another one, lol) who began talking to me about her life (uninvited, I'm the least nosy person in the world, I don't ask), began telling me things about her Fiance which clearly indicated he was an unstable/unkind control freak; I told her to her face "you don't know me well enough to believe me, but please talk to your mother, talk to a counselor, don't get married, you're not ready to get married." She doesn't go to a counselor, and proceeds with very expensive wedding plans/wedding. The marriage lasted 4 months, including 1 trip by him to mental institution, followed by separation and filing for divorce by month 5, now done. The dumbest, most expensive lesson ever...
What I absolutely hate, is being forced to be in the middle of someone else's stupid drama over and over again... No matter how I try to schedule self on different days, or avoid/not return phonecalls, they keep coming back.
Oh yeah, the whole time, this chick is falling apart, even thinking of hurting herself as she plans for the blissful event, she's telling me "I've got to find you someone too", some arrogant BS hah!

So Lily, take a deep breath girl, and learn to deal with drama aaight, lol. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 10:45:51 AM   
strongnsubmissiv


Posts: 197
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline 		I can really only form an opinion based on the community that i've met here locally, but it always seemed to me, the people who seemed to make the most noise about thier laundry list of kinks, where those who seemed to be pining for attention and play, rather than an emotional connection with someone who understands this different sexuality.

Quite often, you'd see whiney subs get bored, and either go from Dom to Dom, or even show up a munch later saying they've switched. (No disrespect to genuine switches here)

My point simply is nobody says that to be a part of this community you have to adhere to a strict code of conduct based on your label. The motivation for us being here changes from person to person. I propose that if anyone in any lifestyle is complaining about their partner on a regular basis, they should probably keep searching for someone a little more compatible.

sns



_____________________________

*** Strong and submissive are not contradictions ***

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 12:36:45 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Lily,

This is a considerable rant, feel better? <grin>

The solution as I see it is quite simple. To borrow a phrase, "Just say no."

You don't have to listen to anybody for any reason. You choose to listen. So my question is, why are you listening until it upsets you? Gotta ask yourself if there's something in it for you if you're allowing the pattern you obviously recognize to continue to play out in your life.






_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 12:51:22 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Lily,

This is a considerable rant, feel better? <grin>

The solution as I see it is quite simple. To borrow a phrase, "Just say no."

You don't have to listen to anybody for any reason. You choose to listen. So my question is, why are you listening until it upsets you? Gotta ask yourself if there's something in it for you if you're allowing the pattern you obviously recognize to continue to play out in your life.


Suz,

Good question. I'll take a look-see at this. It's not so much that I'm sitting around listening to these litenies so much as they appear to be pervasive lately. What I find interesting is not that they seem to be isolated, but that it's been coming up with differant woman at a rate that just seems to be very high.

Thanks,
L

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to MizSuz)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 1:08:31 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

quote:

Lily,

This is a considerable rant, feel better? <grin>

The solution as I see it is quite simple. To borrow a phrase, "Just say no."

You don't have to listen to anybody for any reason. You choose to listen. So my question is, why are you listening until it upsets you? Gotta ask yourself if there's something in it for you if you're allowing the pattern you obviously recognize to continue to play out in your life.


Suz,

Good question. I'll take a look-see at this. It's not so much that I'm sitting around listening to these litenies so much as they appear to be pervasive lately. What I find interesting is not that they seem to be isolated, but that it's been coming up with differant woman at a rate that just seems to be very high.

Thanks,
L



hmmmm. Perhaps you're looking for them? Only you can say.

I do know that when I find myself wallowing in my own melodramas it's not uncommon to find I've established or created new relationships that mirror that. Then I can dysfunctionally avoid my own shit by hyperfocusing on theirs. As I've gotten older and more committed to weeding that crap out of my life and policing the boundaries I put in place to keep it out I find that I recognize it much sooner and make adjustments in my life accordingly. But it takes the ability to own when I'm making or creating it, too.

<shrug> But what do I know? I don't live in your skin.


_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 1:34:57 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz
The solution as I see it is quite simple. To borrow a phrase, "Just say no."

You don't have to listen to anybody for any reason.
Suz,

Suz, I know you're right, but is there a nice way to tell this to your co-workers that won't hurt their feelings; please don't talk to me about your issues since we don't share the same values and yours annoy the hell out of me?
Is there a nice way, other that avoiding/not returning phone calls over 1-2year period to say, I'm not interested, tell it to someone else. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MizSuz)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 1:49:27 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz
The solution as I see it is quite simple. To borrow a phrase, "Just say no."

You don't have to listen to anybody for any reason.
Suz,


Suz, I know you're right, but is there a nice way to tell this to your co-workers that won't hurt their feelings; please don't talk to me about your issues since we don't share the same values and yours annoy the hell out of me?
Is there a nice way, other that avoiding/not returning phone calls over 1-2year period to say, I'm not interested, tell it to someone else. M



The quick cut is the kindest. Would you rather your feelings hurt with the truth or protected with a lie? I suspect the former.

"I'm uncomfortable with this level of familiarity at work. I'd prefer we keep our conversations either professional or quite light." That and walking away when they go off into an area I prefer not to discuss (or hear about) is about as much diplomacy as anyone can expect of me (and I worked very hard in "tact 101").

Consider this while you're protecting their feelings, have they asked you if you WANT to discuss this stuff or considered whether it makes you uncomfortable? No. Waiting for them to get the hint is pissing in the wind and an unproductive way of getting what we want in our relationships.

It's like sales calls at home. I don't even say "No thank you." I hang up. The caller is presuming upon and attempting to take advantage of my good nature (which might compell me to remain on the line being polite). I don't HAVE a good nature (at least not for someone who would presume upon it without my permission). But as long as I'm willing to stay on the line you can believe they will continue to talk.

Hang up.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 4:52:05 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

quote:

Lily,

This is a considerable rant, feel better? <grin>

The solution as I see it is quite simple. To borrow a phrase, "Just say no."

You don't have to listen to anybody for any reason. You choose to listen. So my question is, why are you listening until it upsets you? Gotta ask yourself if there's something in it for you if you're allowing the pattern you obviously recognize to continue to play out in your life.


Suz,

Good question. I'll take a look-see at this. It's not so much that I'm sitting around listening to these litenies so much as they appear to be pervasive lately. What I find interesting is not that they seem to be isolated, but that it's been coming up with differant woman at a rate that just seems to be very high.

Thanks,
L


I understood that from your original post you were trying to highlight this issue, trying to get to the crux. Sometimes we get rhetorical or philosophical on these boards in trying to understand human dynamics. And you are right Lily, this one is definitely troubling.

I know from my interactions with you that your sense of judgement is top notch. And I know that you are also sympathetic to people and genuinely want to help. I get the feeling that it's not so much that you mind that people come to you because they see you as someone strong, but you wonder why it is that people who seemingly have everything either do not appreciate what they have or flaunt it in your face. It's like a double whammy.

I think from the majority of the responses here that dealt with those two issues, you will see that it's not related to wiitwd but more a human behaviour issue. Was it wrong to highlight it? Nope. I think holding a mirror to people and saying "this is the way you behave sometimes and it irritates me" is not a bad thing. You have openly practiced the communication that you wish to see happen more often. Kudos girl!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 5:00:47 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline
quote:

I've been active in this lifestyle for 5 years. I've been in 2 collars. I would never think to disrespect that collar and take my issues outside the relationship.


I think sometimes you need outside input. I started a recent thread asking for advice, in essence, taking a realtionship issue outside of the realtionship. I did so because I had "run out" of ways to approach the problem on my own. That is, I'd exhuasted my set of coping and dealing behaviors and they hadn't helped me to resolve the problem.

Going outside, getting someone -else- to look at what was going on was -incredibly- helpfuly to me. I was able to get another way to look at something, that I frankly wouldn't have thought of on my own.

I'm not entirely defending people who bitch and moan about their relationships. What I -am- defending is people who are confused and growing in their relationships. It takes time to figure out this power exchange stuff, especially if you're coming from a vanilla relationship, with one vanilla partner and one kinky one. It takes time to bridge the communication gap and learn the vocabularies, and it is -helpful- to be able to both get other opinions and to blow off steam when you just -aren't- saying something right.

I know nothing about the people you're talking to, and I think it's stupid that -anyone- would act better-than-thou for being in a relationship. But I understand some of why people complain. It's often a saftey valve for things that are growing and changing.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 5:13:11 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz
The quick cut is the kindest. Would you rather your feelings hurt with the truth or protected with a lie? I suspect the former.

"I'm uncomfortable with this level of familiarity at work. I'd prefer we keep our conversations either professional or quite light." That and walking away when they go off into an area I prefer not to discuss (or hear about) is about as much diplomacy as anyone can expect of me (and I worked very hard in "tact 101").


When it comes to setting boundaries, I could not agree with you more.

There is a common courtesy practice in our society that suggests that we greet people with "Hello. How are you?" Some people see this as an invitation to unload. There are people who I don't say "How are you?" too because I have no desire to sit there and listen to their life story. We've all avoided people at one time or another, though it isn't the optimal solution.

Let me talk to you about it from the other side of the coin. Last year, around this time, I was going through a very hellish period of my life. The details are not so important right now but needless to say, I was overwhelmed by the events going on in my life and I had a very hard time coping. There was a woman that I worked with, with whom I built a strong bond. I felt that I could trust her and so I ran to her to vent, unload, etc. One day, she looked at me and said: "Please stop. I can't handle hearing about this anymore". I was shocked. I was so angry and hurt. I couldn't believe that she wouldn't listen to me. What kind of a friend was she? That night, I realised that I had been dominating our conversations and only talking about my current "tragic" situation. It was more then she could deal with. We talked about it later on and she told me that when I would leave her office, she was so upset by all that I shared that she had a hard time concentrating on her work. While she acknowledged that I was going through something really terrible and did need to vent, she didn't feel armed with the appropriate tools to help me. I did get the help I needed and I did get through that period of my life, stronger and better. I also have to say that I have much respect for this co-worker who was able to set a boundary with me. Because of her, I had to take charge of the issue and face it.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MizSuz)
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RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/20/2005 7:18:29 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MizSuz
The quick cut is the kindest. Would you rather your feelings hurt with the truth or protected with a lie? I suspect the former.

"I'm uncomfortable with this level of familiarity at work.
Consider this while you're protecting their feelings, have they asked you if you WANT to discuss this stuff or considered whether it makes you uncomfortable? No.

Thanks Suz,
I would prefer the truth always even when it initially makes me uncomfortable, but I'm a bit of a whimp when it comes to hurting someone else's feelings, especially if they've shown they're emotionally vulnerable.

You of course are right that it becomes a heavy, one-sided relationship, not weighing in my favor... I will consider growing a better backbone on your advice. I'm not comfortable with this level of familiarity either actually, which is why I don't bring my personal business there or ask others theirs, but it's like Lady A said, once you ask "how are you doing?" it's on. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How to piss off an uncollared sub - 3/22/2005 7:25:50 PM   
softysub


Posts: 101
Joined: 10/20/2004
Status: offline 		I have dealt with collared subs in the past and their attitude wasnt the best. For most of them it was mostly to show it off and being ignorant about the real meaning of wearing a collar and to be owned. I remember asking one of them, if you are so unhappy with your Dom why still wearing His collar? She was speechless...........I think that a collar should be greatly respected as much as respecting your Dom/me.

In my own opinion.....being a collared sub doesnt mean that you're better than an unowned sub.

softysub

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 20
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