Giving Dom too much info on sub.

Giving Dom too much info on sub. (Full Version)

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muffinguy69 -> Giving Dom too much info on sub. (3/21/2005 5:10:10 AM)
I have been in touch with a male/female doms. It seems the sub is used for the pleasure of the wife to do as she says, sex included. However they want to take incriminating pics to keep me in line in case I do not go along with the program. Is this normal for doms to do to there subs?

sweetpleaser -> RE: Giving Dom too much info on sub. (3/21/2005 5:57:17 AM)
No. Photos are one thing but "incriminating photos to keep you in line" is extortion. Run away fast.

mistoferin -> RE: Giving Dom too much info on sub. (3/21/2005 6:10:32 AM)
I agree. Photos should be for the pleasure of your Dominant...not to be held over your head to coerce you into "staying in line". Submission is not something that should require force. I would seriously question the integrity level of any Dominant who would suggest such.

LadyShoshin -> RE: Giving Dom too much info on sub. (3/21/2005 6:16:29 AM)
They are being very honest that they intend to blackmail you if you don't do as you are told, that could include the day you feel the relationship is not right for you and you ask to be released. It sounds like your gut is already giving you your answer, you have doubts, a polite thank you but no thank you seems in order. quote: ORIGINAL: muffinguy69 I have been in touch with a male/female doms. It seems the sub is used for the pleasure of the wife to do as she says, sex included. However they want to take incriminating pics to keep me in line in case I do not go along with the program. Is this normal for doms to do to there subs?

MistressFire70 -> RE: Giving Dom too much info on sub. (3/21/2005 6:59:15 AM)
No, it isn't normal. There are those out there that like fantasy blackmail, but it's done in a SSC way, usually as a mindfuck. If you don't agree to this, and the doms still insist, they are not SSC people and you should RUN. Fire

BeachMystress -> RE: Giving Dom too much info on sub. (3/21/2005 8:47:33 AM)
As mentioned, they are into blackmail. If it turns you on, go for it. Just keep in mind that they may actually use the material for the stated purpose. About 7 months ago, I ran into a sub (real life, not online) who had given a Domme the incriminating photos she wanted plus the verifiable work address she requested as part of "vetting him." The "Domme" was a citizen of an Asian country and it turned out that the time she was allowed to be here was up. She wanted to get married to be able to stay in this country, but had been unable to find anyone willing to marry her for the purpose. Someone clued her into subs and blackmail. After the third time he met her and she had all she needed for her blackmail, she told him he WAS going to marry her, or she would be sending those photos to his work. He is a teacher. Those photos would likely mean the end of his job and possibly career. When I talked with him, he was trying to figure a way out of the situation. Today he is married to an asian woman whose only Dominance is to keep up the threat that he does what she wants, or she shows the photos to not only his work, but now his family as well. Once she has her green card and can stay in this country, she has promised him a divorce. shrugs I found the situation distasteful, her to be morally reprehensible and do not associate with them so I'll not find out how it turns out in the end.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Giving Dom too much info on sub. (3/21/2005 10:49:49 AM)
I'll chime in with everyone else and say, personally I'd run if these people are serious. I do want to add, that another point to consider, is that even if it were normal that doesn't mean it's something you have to agree to. Gags are a common part of BDSM play but I have issues, and I don't do gags. Were any dominant to insist then I would be out the door. Consent, consent, consent. (And don't forget, consent by coercion is NOT consent at all.) Good luck, and remember, extricating yourself with politeness and good manners will go a long way to preventing any ugliness. If you have to use a little white lie to do so, I would. It's the only time I condone anything but complete honesty. Safety is your first concern. Please let us know how it went... Cin

CitizenCane -> RE: Giving Dom too much info on sub. (3/21/2005 11:19:21 AM)
Is it real or play? What would you stand to lose if it were real? Beach's example shows somebody with a lot to lose- if you work at McDonalds, you might not be particularly vulnerable to this kind of things- but on the other hand, THEY would be, as blackmail and extortion are crimes. I think the whole deal smells, but I have to say that in this lifestyle, people are pretty vulnerable once the veil of anonymity is penetrated. For the school teacher mentioned above, photos were probably superfluous. In many places, mere unsworn testimony would be enough to wreck him. Your only real defenses are a) not to play (abstinence makes the heart grow fonder!); b) be a really good judge of character; c) be lucky.

GentleLady -> RE: Giving Dom too much info on sub. (3/21/2005 5:13:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: muffinguy69 I have been in touch with a male/female doms. It seems the sub is used for the pleasure of the wife to do as she says, sex included. However they want to take incriminating pics to keep me in line in case I do not go along with the program. Is this normal for doms to do to there subs? Sure sounds to Me like these people have a hidden agenda and plan on doing something they expect you to refuse to do. They are getting their weapons in place ahead of time to force you. The funny thing is that they are telling you this up-front. I do not think too many blackmailers would warn the victim first....kind of defeats the purpose doesn't it? So maybe this is their kink? On the flip side though, perhaps they are justifying later consent by warning you ahead of time that you will be 'forced' to do non-consensual things. Just a few personal thoughts and questions I had about this. Gentle Lady

FangsNfeet -> RE: Giving Dom too much info on sub. (3/21/2005 5:46:50 PM)
If the relationship isn't working the it isn't working and it should be left at that. Being black mailed to stay with one that you don't want to be with anylonger isn't right. After all, I want pet to stay with me because it's her choice to submit to me. Not because I have something hanging over her to keep control.

proudsub -> RE: Giving Dom too much info on sub. (3/21/2005 6:08:07 PM)
quote: However they want to take incriminating pics to keep me in line in case I do not go along with the program. Is this normal for doms to do to there subs? I trusted my first dom and allowed him to take pics of me and they ended up in a photo contest on a cam site. I was able to get them removed. But you never know where an incriminating pic may end up, so be very careful.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Giving Dom too much info on sub. (3/21/2005 6:39:39 PM)
Your question is "Is this normal for doms to do to there subs?" I have lots of incriminating pics of my submissives. I took them myself after we got together and we trusted each other. They have one or two incriminating pics of me. I trust them. We have a bond. I don't have these pics to keep them inline. They stay in line because we have a good relationship. If the relationship were to end, I am not the kind of person who would use these pics against them. I also believe that they would never use my pics against me. I might be wrong but I pretty certain I'm dealing with ethical people. Regardless of where you work, what your social status is, what you have to lose is your sense of security. That is important to you, right? I don't know many subs that are willing to seriously be controlled by someone they despise (though somewhere, it's probably someone's kink!) So get to know them and if you trust them, go for it. If you don't trust them, then don't. You might be a submissive but you are also an individual with the right to say no. - LA

Gemeni -> RE: Giving Dom too much info on sub. (3/21/2005 9:19:53 PM)
This is totally illegal. If this is how these people START,how do you think it will END?

Manawyddan -> RE: Giving Dom too much info on sub. (3/26/2005 7:43:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GentleLady The funny thing is that they are telling you this up-front. I do not think too many blackmailers would warn the victim first....kind of defeats the purpose doesn't it? They are clearly not 'professional' blackmailers. They sound like amateurs (both as blackmailers and as dom/mes). They probably are unaware of SSC protocols and think this is how to operate. Nevertheless, it's not a good start. I recommend to muffin that he run far and fast.

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