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sierranights -> RE: Fear of taking things to Real Life (4/13/2005 1:26:30 PM)
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I think what your feeling is completely normal too! It took me a year and a half after truly "wanting" to go to real life. I have still never attended a munch, though I have plenty of opportunity lol. And now when I do finally have the courage, my work conflicts. I was perhaps lucky, I had a friend I had no clue lived the lifestyle and when I finally told him, he let me "pretend play", ask questions and gain courage. I then read every book I could, every item on safety, and then went online to various chatrooms and such. Eventually I started to meet people for coffee one on one. Still I didn't go further. I even tried the online thing..an experiment that I think helped me, and in the process I made a good friend. Then, I did meet someone, a year and half later actually. We went out for dinner, for social things. We essentially talked about what we liked and didn't like. The night came.....and I almost backed out. I stalled... Ultimately, I ended up pushing his limits lol [:)] It was fantastic. Follow the advice here, and take your time. Only you know when you will be ready. If you can get to know your community, and even if you can't quite bring yourself too, make friends online, if nothing else they can give you the warnings of someone you may not want to be involved with, they can encourage you when you need that reassurance. And while you are probably now just "needing" that experience...keep waiting patiently...if it's good ...it's beyond fantasic. I do not even want to imagine what a "bad" first time experience could do. Also, I was lucky I lived in a city that had fetish clubs. If you can convince a friend to go with you, that too could be a great experience. For me it was a bit of a shock, but what an amzing group of people, some (lots of reulars) who became good friends of mine. [;)] Also, know yourself well, and be honest completely with yourself and others. Always be safe!
~Best wishes, and good luck!
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