RE: Fear of taking things to Real Life

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Fear of taking things to Real Life

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Fear of taking things to Real Life

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Fear of taking things to Real Life - 4/7/2005 1:00:53 PM

cellogrrlMK

Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

Perhaps this warrants it's own thread, but what do people get from online Dom or subs? I've never had one, and don't think I ever will have an online Dom. I just don't see the point. Many have tried Domming me online and I usually just laugh at it. I just can't get into it.

Little Sub,
This just means you have your head together. You can research and learn on-line. You can contact people and groups that would be difficult to do so by any other means on-line. You can determine that a person interests you by what your learn from them from on-line posts or chats. You can begin to establish or loss trust in people from how they represent themselves on-line. But a relationship, or more precise, submission and dominance is not possible exclusively on-line. Laughing at the attempt is healthy.

Agrees with LittleMissSub and of course Mercnbeth wholeheartedly!

cello

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Fear of taking things to Real Life - 4/7/2005 5:05:07 PM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

I had a 13 year Master/slave Marriage and still had the fear of meeting new people that were out of my loop of normalcy....i just decided that my happiness was worthy of taking chances...
jenny

(in reply to cellogrrlMK)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Fear of taking things to Real Life - 4/7/2005 8:43:48 PM

joecool

Posts: 31
Joined: 5/16/2004
From: Rochester
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

When I meet boys who have never played before, I usually bring them to public events and introduce them to a bunch of people. Though they contacted me first because I seem to be approachable, they usually end up with someone better suited to them then me. So don't be afraid to make friends first. It can be scary at first, like anything else in life.

And welcome to the boards :)

- Lady Angelika

As someone who recently went through much the same as the OP, I've gotta say that Lady Angelika's way of doing things is probably the best way I can figure. Luckily for me I met someone local who was willing to take me around for all the introductions and answer all my questions. I was very nervous at the first munch I ever attended. Hell, I probably will be at the second, but really, in my experience, the folks I've met in RL have been very kind, very patient, and very understanding.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

I would suggest it might be easier on you to find a domme lady first ;)

If only that were easy too! But, good things come to those who wait.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Fear of taking things to Real Life - 4/13/2005 12:43:22 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I have to admit i was very nervous meetng my Master for the first time (actually a little nervous every time) never know what to expect but he has my trust. The first time we met we had lunch and just talked to make sure we were on thesame page and he kiseed me goodby whan we decided we were well Mattched he 2nd meeting was more intense an ohysivcal. he is beringing me along slowly even though i am not new to the lifestlye i am learning what eh likes.

(in reply to joecool)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Fear of taking things to Real Life - 4/13/2005 1:26:30 PM

sierranights

Posts: 7
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

I think what your feeling is completely normal too! It took me a year and a half after truly "wanting" to go to real life. I have still never attended a munch, though I have plenty of opportunity lol. And now when I do finally have the courage, my work conflicts. I was perhaps lucky, I had a friend I had no clue lived the lifestyle and when I finally told him, he let me "pretend play", ask questions and gain courage. I then read every book I could, every item on safety, and then went online to various chatrooms and such. Eventually I started to meet people for coffee one on one. Still I didn't go further. I even tried the online thing..an experiment that I think helped me, and in the process I made a good friend. Then, I did meet someone, a year and half later actually. We went out for dinner, for social things. We essentially talked about what we liked and didn't like. The night came.....and I almost backed out. I stalled... Ultimately, I ended up pushing his limits lol

It was fantastic. Follow the advice here, and take your time. Only you know when you will be ready. If you can get to know your community, and even if you can't quite bring yourself too, make friends online, if nothing else they can give you the warnings of someone you may not want to be involved with, they can encourage you when you need that reassurance. And while you are probably now just "needing" that experience...keep waiting patiently...if it's good ...it's beyond fantasic. I do not even want to imagine what a "bad" first time experience could do. Also, I was lucky I lived in a city that had fetish clubs. If you can convince a friend to go with you, that too could be a great experience. For me it was a bit of a shock, but what an amzing group of people, some (lots of reulars) who became good friends of mine.

Also, know yourself well, and be honest completely with yourself and others. Always be safe!

~Best wishes, and good luck!

(in reply to littleone35)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Fear of taking things to Real Life - 4/13/2005 6:02:36 PM

rozynozy

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline

As someone who just started in the lifestyle, I understand your fear, and it is ok to feel that way. I have a Master, even though I have only been doing R/T for a couple of months. I have talked with my Master for over a year on the net, and the phone. If I didn't feel I could trust him completely, I would have never gone R/T.
First step is to find a dom/mistress you can trust and go very slowly. If this is truly for you, it will happen in time.

Rozy

(in reply to tsk1964)

Profile

Post #: 26