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RE: Falling from their pedestal... - 2/25/2007 11:58:28 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:


Is this what being a submissive is all about? constantly let down, constantly played as a fool, constantly hurt.


I feel that these are interpersonal relationship issues; not lifestyle issues.
The key is learning why you are drawn to people who let you down, play you for a fool and hurt you.  You need to take back some power.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to FiestyFi)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Falling from their pedestal... - 2/25/2007 12:01:15 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Why do people hold out their hand in some form of acceptance only to snatch it away again.


Perhaps to help you learn to accept yourself... people often act like mirrors to point out what we need to learn. Another person's rejection of you will not matter as much if you accept yourself. And then when you do find someone that really accepts you it is just about enjoying that person, it is hard to get from others what you lack in yourself.



_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to FiestyFi)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Falling from their pedestal... - 2/25/2007 12:02:38 PM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline
NO its not all about let down,its about your constance growth learning and loving on your journey.YOU will find find some doms that will let you down and use you but the large percentage of doms are true to the life style and will lead you on your journey,,,bounty

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Falling from their pedestal... - 2/25/2007 12:08:24 PM   
MyMasterStephen


Posts: 219
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChainedExistence

Perhaps it might be helpful to know you aren't the first or the last person to question their submission due to a failed relationship.



And, indeed, some of us have questioned our Dominance due to failed relationships.

Yes: shock horror, Doms have feelings too.

I would hazard to suggest that every genuine participant in this Lifestyle has suffered the crushing disappointment of a failed relationship at least once.  With our needs being so strong and so individual, it is very VERY rare that two perfectly matched people come together at the first attempt.  Sometimes we lie to ourselves and tell ourselves that those niggling little incompatibilities will fade into the background.  They don't.  Sometimes other people lie to themselves, and tell themselves they can provide what we want despite it not really being "their thing".  It doesn't work.  And sometimes other people lie to us, and tell us they too want all the things we crave, only to be found out a week, a month, even a year down the line.

Be strong, fi.  We are driven to this Lifestyle, and most of us could not turn our backs on it if we tried.  When we get knocked down we just have to pick ourselves up again, dust ourselves down, and start again from the beginning.  We have no choice.

Stick with it, and it will come good in the end.  I hope.

(in reply to ChainedExistence)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Falling from their pedestal... - 2/25/2007 12:34:49 PM   
angeldevil


Posts: 503
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: uk
Status: offline
 "Is this what being a submissive is all about? constantly let down, constantly played as a fool, constantly hurt"
 
What hurts you can make you stronger. Take a step back when the hurting eases, look  at how you were treated, then take a step forward with the awareness that you are worth more than this.
Have confidence in youself and what you want, you are worth it!

_____________________________

Do these welts make my butt look big?

(in reply to MyMasterStephen)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Falling from their pedestal... - 2/25/2007 1:01:12 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline
I am sorry you are huirting and maybe i am way off base here, but could you have a fear of submitting totally so you pick men who don't want a total commitment?  Sorry if i am wrong but that is the sense i got from your post since you said it has happened before.

Next time just take things a little slower but please don't give up.  There are plenty of good Dom's out there.  Submission is not about being hurt or played for a fool.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to angeldevil)
Profile   Post #: 26
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