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have an question - 3/21/2005 9:16:23 PM

tamtam

Posts: 14
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

Hi I have an questions for the doms...what should an submissive do after her Master release her...i be honest its me..just tonight i was released it was mutual..i guess its an bittersweet thing...but not sure where do i start over or what really..need some advice

tamtam

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RE: have an question - 3/22/2005 6:38:25 AM

MsSilvie

Posts: 248
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline

hi tamtam,

Sorry for your break-up. Something like that isn't easy in a vanilla relationship, and the end of a D/s relationship is probably harder in a lot of ways.

An article you may find interesting:
http://www.sextreatment.com/dom.htm

Be kind to yourself!

(in reply to tamtam)

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RE: have an question - 3/22/2005 10:36:26 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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quote:

where do i start over

tamtam,
You don't "start over". Can you un-learn how to ride a bike?

Take a breath. Remember back on all the positive aspects of the experience. Bask in what you did, what you learned. Contemplate the bad times too, the troubles, the situations that ultimately led to your release. Was release due to a change in what you were when you met? Was the communication that you had when you started the relationship continued or was the release the result of silence and complacency?

This is opportunity. Sometimes people are like crabs, they can only grow when they break through their shell. At first they are vulnerable, but soon the shell hardens and they are a bigger person. You know more now than you did at the beginning of your relationship. You've grown. Now you can move on to bigger and more fulfilling opportunities.

Set goals, and pursue and serve them with same dedication as you served your Dom.

Good luck!

(in reply to tamtam)

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RE: have an question - 3/22/2005 5:03:42 PM

velvetvixen

Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline

The first time I was released it was more or less mutual-- more for Him less for me-- but I needed to move on geographically and He needed to stay where He was. I didn't "do" anything. I just moved ahead, made a new way for myself where I was and eventually met someone else.

Endings are beginnings as well. Be kind to yourself.

(in reply to tamtam)

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RE: have an question - 3/26/2005 5:54:39 AM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

Hi...i am sorry about the ending of the relationship. But....look at it the way i did...it is the beginning of something wonderful to come...Don't look for anyone , spend time re-learning what makes you tick. If Mr right or Mrs Right pops up ..enjoy it.

(in reply to tamtam)

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RE: have an question - 3/26/2005 6:37:47 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

Hi

i am sorry to hear aboute the end of your relationship. Here is one wild idea, i probably sound like somone that have read to many self help books, i probably have. Buy yourself a nice notebook and make a scrapbook aboute the relationship, pictures, wring down of feelings, good and bad. Fill up that book whit all of it. Perhaps you can even get your former Master to write a bit in it to. Then when you have the book ready, buy yourself some chocolate and a nice wine and take a quiet eveing, reading the book and contmplate on what has been. Cry, scream, shout or luagh, do whatever you feel like. Then at the end of the eveing close the book and place it in your bookshelf. Say to yourself that it wasa nice experience, you came out better from it and you will always have the memories, then go out live life a littel, then see what life has in store for you. And whenever you feel a bit blue aboute the brakeup, take out that special book and read abit in it, remember to good times and the bad, smile and move on.

(in reply to sweetpettjenny)

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RE: have an question - 3/27/2005 2:25:08 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

Sweetie, you do what virtually everyone does in every type of lifestyle - BDSM, gay, vanilla, whatever.... You take the time you need to heal then you start again. If you've managed to find one Dom in your life, then you know how to find another. In the vanilla world, few people married the first person they shared a relationship with - works the same way in BDSM.

Best wishes,

Focus50.

(in reply to tamtam)

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