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Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 3:11:12 PM

TheGaggingWh0re

Posts: 222
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Whether you're a top or a bottom, a this or a that, you're human, and you tend to make mistakes, even in the "vanilla world". I see a lot of conversations on here where, eventually, one person points out the fallacies of another person, and that other person either dissapears from the conversation altogether or continues their feeble defense when they're clearly out-numbered (not to say that majority always rules, just pointing out that in some cases the majority tends to be on the ball).

So, is anyone here too prideful to respond with a "You're right, I'm wrong" sort of post (and not be snide?). Is it too much to have your ego re-checked and to admit to problems or situations instead of making a hard-headed defense? What about with your doms/subs when you're arguing/debating/etc about something and realize you were wrong?

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RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 3:14:56 PM

porthuronsub

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I've actually been enlightened a couple of times, once on the subject of immigration and taxes and once on lock bumping. I am not too proud to admit my errors and actually posted a thank you to those that pointed out my error.

(in reply to TheGaggingWh0re)

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RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 3:18:05 PM

SilverShadows

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Joined: 2/15/2007
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I haven't had the oppertunity on this forum to need to do so yet, but I have done so. Sometimes privately sometime publically depending on who's toes have been tread on. Fact I was rather mournful last night because I had to do exactly this to a person I was hoping would become a good friend or better last night. Eating crow isn't easy, and it doesn't taste good but is much more high class than pretending one never errors.

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RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 3:19:13 PM

juliaoceania

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I will admit when I feel I am wrong, and there are times I am wrong that I never see it. I think this is true of most people. I will not admit I am wrong unless I honestly feel that I am. The reason is because in the past I had a habit of taking the blame for everything in the world just to make peace, especially in my marriage. This had the net effect of causing a conflict in me because I compromised myself. It is not right to state things that you heartfelt do not believe.... so I do not do this anymore.

If I am wrong in my relationships with others and I value them, I will admit I am wrong, I will try to make it right... I tend not to debate those I love about subjects that will cause hard feelings and I will not give way on.

Bitatrouble recently said of me that I debate things longer than i should as to be understood... I think this is true of me, I think that is why I have so many posts, I want to be understood. I think that is something that is beginning to change inside me... all of the sudden I do not care who understands me unless those people are extremely important to me, and that is a very short list of people

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RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 3:20:06 PM

SilverShadows

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I will confirm, porturonsub is being honest. I saw him do so on the lock bumping and I was impressed with it. So few people are high class enough to admit their error even in something so trivial as lock bumping.

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The Countess

Το αίμα είναι η ζωή
Cruor est Vita
Sînge is art.hot. Viaţă
Vér van a Élet

Come Kiss the Guillotine
Come Taste the Gasoline

(in reply to porthuronsub)

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RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 3:22:31 PM

RWAble

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Well; to be human is to err. In whatever part of our life it is, we all make mistakes and learn from them. Anybody who can't admit they are wrong; when they are; scares me.

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Life is a voyage, not a destination.

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RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 3:23:59 PM

porthuronsub

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Thank you!

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RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 3:41:37 PM

TheGaggingWh0re

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RWAble

Well; to be human is to err. In whatever part of our life it is, we all make mistakes and learn from them. Anybody who can't admit they are wrong; when they are; scares me.

Haha. This made me chuckle! I suppose I am less afraid of those who can't admit when they're wrong than I am stupified. It baffles me that someone would be so hell-bent on maintaining a degree of 'pride' that they wouldn't even admit to being wrong, even if they know that deep down their own arguments are shaky at best.

I think another thing that keeps people from admittance of 'wrong' is emotions. One can be so hell-bent and emotional about a subject, but it doesn't make the situation right in any way. "Feelings" does not = "Correct". I have learned this in my current relationship. I used to get frustrated when my owner would not constantly barrage me with demands and what not all the time. I felt it was right that I should be in service constantly, but that is simply not the reality. Though we had a few arguments where I ended in tears, I eventually came to the realization (once I got a busy schedule of my own!) that he can not have me doing something intense all the time. Now granted, I am submissive to him constantly, there is simply a level of appropriateness to when we can finally relax and indulge ourselves in some hardcore play! I had to get over my emotions to realize I was not being logical or reasonable, and this is coming from someone who values logic and reasoning!

(in reply to RWAble)

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RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 3:52:33 PM

hereyesruponyou

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I personally think you have to be pretty insecure to not be able to admit when you are wrong. On the other side, Julia is sooooo right, you have to be able to see where/how you are wrong. Both of these traits seem to increase with maturity (though not necessarily age).

As for me, i make more than my fair share of mistakes, always willing to play the fall guy

(in reply to porthuronsub)

Post #: 9

RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 4:03:34 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheGaggingWh0re

So, is anyone here too prideful to respond with a "You're right, I'm wrong" sort of post (and not be snide?).

Not to prideful that all... .... As soon as I am wrong... I will be sure to let the other person know they are right... of course... I am still waiting for that to happen....

quote:

Is it too much to have your ego re-checked and to admit to problems or situations instead of making a hard-headed defense?

If I didn't have my ego.. I would be deflated to a flat puddle on the floor.. nope got to keep the ego!!

quote:

What about with your doms/subs when you're arguing/debating/etc about something and realize you were wrong?

mmmmmmm well I realize my girls are right all the time!..... of course that is cause they agree with me... It definitely stops them from being wrong.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to TheGaggingWh0re)

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RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 4:08:58 PM

SmokingGun82

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If I'm wrong, I admit it. And if someone makes good points, I have been known to change my opinion, and thank them.

Doesn't mean it's a common occurrence, though. :)

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RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 4:09:00 PM

StellaByStarlite

Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
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<blinkblink> What is this thing called "being wrong"?

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RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 4:13:07 PM

azzmaster

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Joined: 2/15/2007
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if i unintentially offended someone i would apologize, depending on how they approached me about it. if its all shrill and accusatory, whether online or real life, i will ignor them unless they tone it down a notch

(in reply to StellaByStarlite)

Post #: 13

RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 4:15:26 PM

porthuronsub

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I like to try to compliment others when they bring up a good topic or good information into a thread. But i let compliments fly everywhere. I don't think enough people do anymore, seems the world is becoming quite cynical. But if i disagree I try to get my side across as well.

(in reply to azzmaster)

Post #: 14

RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 4:25:38 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StellaByStarlite

<blinkblink> What is this thing called "being wrong"?

You know it... it's when you have to correct everyone else for being stupid!

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 4:44:27 PM

szobras

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Joined: 9/18/2006
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If I am wrong about something, I will make it known. Not always to everyone, but specifically to the person(s) that have corrected me. Should I believe I am right regardless, I will stand by it, without need to expend the effort to convert nor convince. I also do change my mind at times when given a new perspective, or factual information. I believe that admitting when I am wrong is necessary to remain teachable.

< Message edited by szobras -- 2/25/2007 4:45:54 PM >

(in reply to porthuronsub)

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RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 4:53:54 PM

StellaByStarlite

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LOL, KnightofMist.

The nerve of 'em, huh?

(This post was a joke. Had it been an actual insult, it would be immediately followed by gnashing of teeth, snappy retorts, and general righteous indignation. This was only a joke)

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 17

RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 4:57:05 PM

Nosathro

Posts: 3319
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Orange County, California
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greetings

The Gorean Philosphy covers that one must take responsiblity for their actions. Not admitting being wrong would be dishonorable.

Be Well

Nosathro

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RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 5:02:57 PM

SCDommie

Posts: 176
Joined: 1/24/2007
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I will apologize if I am wrong. Sometimes, it maybe hard to get me to realize it sometimes because I am mature in age. I have my way of doing things.
In person, I am real easy to get along with.

SCD

(in reply to StellaByStarlite)

Post #: 19

RE: Can you admit to your mistakes? - 2/25/2007 5:03:25 PM

domiguy

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Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

StellaByStarlite

<blinkblink> What is this thing called "being wrong"?

Nice font size....Maybe when you are wrong in the future you can blame however you erred on your monitor.

I always stand up and take responsibility....It might be hard to do in the minute...But if one is capable of any sort of introspection or empathy it isn't that big of deal...I enjoy to be around people who have the capability to be self deprecating and are capable of a good debate but still have the ability to listen and process.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/25/2007 5:05:28 PM >

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