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Do you get noticed? - 3/22/2005 3:09:37 AM

Soapy

Posts: 8
Joined: 2/10/2005
Status: offline

Every once in a while I will be out somewhere when someone will point out to me a couple and say something like "boy, she really cracks the whip in that relationship".

I tend to believe those situations are just the natural dynamics of a vanilla couple.

I also tend not to notice ( or care ) how people react with each other and I tend to believe most people are that way.

If you are in a relationship with your sub/domme, and when you go out as a couple - outside of a scene - do you think people pick up on the power dynamics of your relationship or do you think you blend in as vanilla couple?

Post #: 1

RE: Do you get noticed? - 3/22/2005 8:05:23 AM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

I think people often do a double take when I say "but my boyfriend doesn't like that" as a reason for not doing something. I don't do it in a creepy way, but especially when discussing things like body modification, it's easiest to explain why I don't have anymore like that.

Too, my roommate notices that I cook, and fetch-n-cary when we're watching movies and the like. She's commented that she'd -never- be as nice to her boyfriend as I am. It amuses me.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Soapy)

Post #: 2

RE: Do you get noticed? - 3/23/2005 1:14:40 AM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

When I was out with my Domina, I think it was obvious
most of the time that we were into the lifestyle, I always
wore my collar also have a triskilian tat on my right wrist.

And also just the way we were open with our conversations.
How we spoke and/or things we would say to or call each other.
She also always walked on the outside on the street and ordered our
food, as a few examples.

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

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(in reply to Soapy)

Post #: 3

RE: Do you get noticed? - 3/23/2005 4:45:19 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Soapy
Every once in a while I will be out somewhere when someone will point out to me a couple and say something like "boy, she really cracks the whip in that relationship".

I think men feel a Domme vibe off me right away. I'm not at all a micromanager, but it is obvious in the dynamics that I have with my boys that I am in control. When entering a public venue, they are to open doors for me, pull my chair for me, and when I get up from a table they stand as well, etc.

I think one of the great moments was during an evening of socialising with one of my former boys and his friends. That evening, one of his friends looked at him and said "does your girlfriend bite?" and my boy answered "quite wonderfully in fact" with a big smile. His friend flirted with me for the rest of the night!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Soapy)

Post #: 4

RE: Do you get noticed? - 3/28/2005 5:50:07 AM

indydomme

Posts: 27
Joined: 1/16/2005
From: Columbus, IN
Status: offline

Hmm... I really hadn't ever thought about it.

I know as a submissive, it was very obvious that I was a submissive person. But I haven't any boys that I go out and do things with, really, to have had looks or comments...

I would think that the longer I was in a relationship with a boy, the more obvious it would be...

I agree with the comments about "my Dominant doesn't like that." Not only have I pulled that on several occastions, but my best friend from college is also a submissive, married to her Dominant, and she feeds ME that line from time to time. But in their relationship, I would say that those close to them notice, but don't KNOW. I notice every little thing, because I DO know...

Anyhow, My two cents.

Miss Erin

_____________________________

I'm not a bitch, I just know exactly what I want, and exactly what it takes to get there. Now, Bend Over.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 5

RE: Do you get noticed? - 3/28/2005 5:56:49 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I think most of the time it's either just perpetuating stereotypes or a discomfort of perceived roles (ie, men getting ribbed from their friends if they are perceived to be controlled by their female partner).

(in reply to indydomme)

Post #: 6

RE: Do you get noticed? - 3/28/2005 7:00:09 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

One of my frinds`s girlfrind tried to talk me out of what se did see as a relationship whit a man that dominated me and took the desitions and she also talked whit my fiace aboute treating my right. It was hilerious.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 7

RE: Do you get noticed? - 3/28/2005 9:42:01 AM

indydomme

Posts: 27
Joined: 1/16/2005
From: Columbus, IN
Status: offline

My favorite conversations were with people who believed I was being mistreated or abused, people who told me I was being brain washed, etc. I've done soooooo much research, and had so many conversations, and have had many experiences as a submissive, and there is no way I was being brain washed by anyone. That was just as a submissive.

As a Dominant, I don't catch nearly the flack i did. I have been rejected from blog sites, web rings, and numerous other similar types of things based on the fact that my site is BDSM related. And the language from the latest rejection was "while we acknowledge a woman's rights to choose her own lifestyle, we can not condone the enslavement or submission of a woman, or any human being, for that matter."

I think that there are still some horribly neocon organizations that think that everyone has to be exactly the same, women have to fit in this mold, and men have to fit in that mold, and if they do, you don't belong here, because we fear what we don't know or understand... It disgusts me.

Ok, I'm going to stop here before I go off on a rant... I'll have to start a whole new string...

Miss Erin

_____________________________

I'm not a bitch, I just know exactly what I want, and exactly what it takes to get there. Now, Bend Over.

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 8

RE: Do you get noticed? - 3/28/2005 4:52:59 PM

MistressInNYC

Posts: 29
Joined: 1/29/2005
Status: offline

My slaves carry my bag, open the door, etc... All are just "gentleman" in public.
Just the way they do something throughly for me may get vanilla people's attention.....

I don't humiliate them obviousely in public unless they deserve such as a punishment etc..
My slaves don't wear anything indicate "BDSM" at all.
Some are into certain style, but they just don't wear that while they are with me unless I told them.

If you just carefully observe us, then you might notice ......

If people are into BDSM. especially my face on the web/local magazine etc.
I get noticed by "certain" people....already.
Remember "Fight club"? They just nod/bow.
I get that once in a while...so it doesn't matter if I don't wear "Mistress look" or not.
...sometimes, I want a privacy.....lost in a crowd of NYC.... ** sigh**

(in reply to indydomme)

Post #: 9

RE: Do you get noticed? - 3/28/2005 5:14:50 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

I have had guys walk through a door, see me, start to walk off, then go back and hold the door open for me ... looking like they aren't quite sure why they are holding the door for me LOL

We have had the "knowing look/nod" before ... and we have had people comment on how nice it is that our boy pulls the chairs out for us - that's about it so far.

(in reply to MistressInNYC)

Post #: 10

RE: Do you get noticed? - 3/28/2005 6:44:05 PM

LadyBeckett

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

Whether I am with a sub or not, like Maniac, I believe submissives have a sixth sense when it comes to picking up on My natural Domme energy/vibes. It isn't something that I make a conscious effort to put out there, but I attract them wherever I go.

When I am with a sub I have noticed that it does get attention, in the way that observers will look and sigh that "I want that kind of relationship" sigh, as they watch him pull My chair out, unwrap My cutlery, the ease of communication, how fine he is, and the fact that neither of us are spending the entire time we are there looking around with absolutely nothing to talk about with one another.

< Message edited by LadyBeckett -- 3/28/2005 6:45:21 PM >

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Lady Beckett

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"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to Soapy)

Post #: 11

RE: Do you get noticed? - 3/28/2005 7:40:24 PM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

I have actually had a few times in public that I was recognized (as MstrssPassion) & each with comical results.

The funniest was the time when I was at work (I work in retail management) & a young man came in & I approached him to ask if he needed any assistance... he started to answer & when he made full face contact I saw his expression change & he became quite nervous & ended up dropping to his knees right there in the store. He muttered my scene name with a little hesitation... M-M-MstrssPassion?? I said yes & told him to get up. He asked if there was anything he could do to please me.... I said , of course. I told him to return that evening at closing & vacuum the floors & clean the windows..... LOL

HE DID!!

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

Post #: 12

RE: Do you get noticed? - 3/28/2005 10:31:38 PM

GentleLady

Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

...*chuckles*....Mine was visiting Me in Canada and My ex-stepfather dropped in. After hugging Me My mother said that there was someone he should meet. He asked if the person was important to Me and My answer was: "yes...he belongs to Me"

Other then when I say something obvious like that we usually blend in pretty well unless someone is paying strict attention.

Gentle Lady

_____________________________

All things are possible to those who have patience, try, and are willing to learn.

(in reply to Soapy)

Post #: 13

RE: Do you get noticed? - 3/28/2005 10:48:38 PM

MistressTabitha

Posts: 13
Joined: 3/24/2005
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

Hiya soapy,

Straight answer to that is yes and no!!

My partner is also My 24/7 slave and it just depends what sort of mood we are both in when we are both out in public. I really do not care what others think of Me anyway and never have done, My partner is exactly the same. he does not wear anthing outside of our BDSM/Dungeon/home environment to indicate that he is My slave but certain looks and response in public have certainly raised a few eyebrows or stopped people in their tracks!!

Mistress Tabitha,x

_____________________________

Pleasure goes hand in hand with pain

Live today as if it were your last

(in reply to GentleLady)

Post #: 14

RE: Do you get noticed? - 3/29/2005 4:48:36 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyBeckett

Whether I am with a sub or not, like Maniac, I believe submissives have a sixth sense when it comes to picking up on My natural Domme energy/vibes. It isn't something that I make a conscious effort to put out there, but I attract them wherever I go.

Oh B - It's not just the submissives that have a sixth sense! The dominants do too! As a good Dominant male friend said to me once, the first time I opened my mouth to speak to him (in a totally non-bdsm context) he knew he met his match.

- LA (aka Maniac)

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

Post #: 15

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