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Mantra -> RE: racial play2 (4/19/2005 8:31:15 AM)
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Each time this issue is discussed, people wonder at and try to understand race play. I commend the people who have taken part in the discussion, so far - I have really found your various questions and answers useful.
I am a submissive black male who enjoys race play a great deal and I hope this helps you all with it. But before I start, I can't begin to speak for all the other people out there who do this -- just myself.
A perspective: lifelong submissives, do you "understand" the dominant mindset? Lifelong dominants, ask yourselves the reverse - do you "understand" what subs think and feel when sceneing? You can't. You can understand the ground rules of the scene and of that pairing in particular and from that create the magic we all adore. But you cannot begin to understand what turns your partner on INSIDE THEIR OWN PSYCHE, without experiencing it (ie, changing orientation at some time).
The point is, you can experiment if you switch but you cannot ever switch the race you are born into. So why try to "understand" something that is always going to elude you? Have sympathy with another's viewpoint, by all means. But accept that certain things have to be taken on trust and be guided by those who have walked a walk, in racial terms, that you simply can't.
I have played with scene and vanilla tourist alike with these issues. On the one-to-one, it is easy to identify those who can understand what it's about and get into it. I have also played with white dommes with whom race hasn't come up. I am no self-hater, please take my word for it. My politics are more radical than most, I am fairly well-educated, successful-ish -- and always becoming more so. But here's the thing: I have been into BDSM in one sense or another all my life but after a while, I discovered an element which allowed me to go further. Race. Sometimes I want to play with it and other times I don't. Hmm, don't recall a white domme requesting it before me... not sure how I'd react but, hey, that would probably be a mad turn-on!
If you feel enough trust and confidence to have white lovers, spouses, friends, how can you fail to find white play partners? Don't set us back. By that logic, no woman would sub to a man because we burned strong women as witches in the past. No man could sub to a woman because really he would be "working out internalised issues from his childhood relationship with his mother". It harks back to the WHO classifying BDSM as a mental illness, if you are ready to accept that black kinksters cannot play with whatever isuue they see fit as long as its SSC. Thanks, your support is appreciated but I don't need anyone to think for me.
Just imagine you had a facet to work, which could make every scene you've ever played go up a notch in intensity? You want someone to tell you it's wrong? It's an open taboo, anyway. In the UK often white couples want to play which is not my thing but for every person who expresses reservations about racial play, there are 20 out there doing it. By bringing it out into the open, it will make it better for those who just want to experiment but feel they would be condemned for doing so (we've all heard the horror stories) and easier to identify those you should just shun.
Maybe one day it will even be a choice on the list of preferences!
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