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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Every submissive and slave has the right to decide what their hard limits are. Some of us choose to go without them, but most of us have at least a few.

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Every submissive and slave has the right to decide what their hard limits are. Some of us choose to go without them, but most of us have at least a few. For me, I won't serve as a toliet and some various other things. It sounds like this is a hard limit for you, and there isn't anything wrong with that. It's certainly very reasonable. I would advise sitting down with your mistress and telling her how you feel. If you decide that you definately don't want to do this, then tell her it's a hard limit. Then tell her if you are open to exploring it in the future or if you never want to have it pushed at all. Explain to her that it bothers you so much that it wants you want to go back to vanilla. Then she will have to decide if she is willing to let go of her desire or if she wants to find another submissive.

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You asked her to experiment and looks like she is doing just that.

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ORIGINAL: FranklyAghast
I have a sneaky feeling that even if she accepts the line, it'll be a recurring subject :(

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ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

READ THIS. meditate on it. let it become your mantra.

a lot of submissives and slaves will do something that makes them incredibly squicked, just to please their dominant. there are some things that make some of us so squicked, we just can't do it. some of us are lucky enough to have chosen dominants who get just as squicked by these things, so we don't have to have limits (for example, i would not enjoy scat, although i could do watersports, and He has discussed watersports but finds scat equally a turn-off, so it's likely that we'll never go down that road). others of us have maybe one or two things that we really just cannot do, no matter how much it would please the other partner. it seems to me as though you need to find out where on the spectrum of squicky this particular thing fits for you - and if it's way past the "whatever makes mistress happy, even if i don't like it" point, then it sounds like it would be a hard limit for you. as aquatic mentioned, it's important to communicate to her that this has stirred such a negative reaction in you, and see how important it is to her, and discuss the effects that will have on your relationship - if it means that she wants to find a submissive who will do this, or if it means that you would be willing to work towards being more comfy with it, or if it means that she's willing to give up this particular act in favor of keeping the relationship going. i know you said you have mentioned this turns you off...but maybe it's time to communicate how strong of a negative reaction this is causing in you. electrical play turns me off, and is even a psychological issue with me, but i would still do it to please Him...so telling Him it turns me off won't do a whole lot. telling Him it makes me want to go vanilla would communicate the gravity of the negative effect it would have on me, were that the case, if that makes any sense. it may be that she doesn't understand just how much of an issue this is for you, and once she does, then you both will be better equipped to see how this affects your relationship.

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ORIGINAL: azzmaster

u may in fact be sub, but she might not be the right domme for u. not everyone meshes. the idea really should be that u don't submit to anyone u need to set limits with. its a bad fit then, what u both like and dislike should sort of dovetail. i do not believe in working on relationships, per se. to some extent, u need to simply be right for each other. but its early days for u. try going along with what she suggests and evaluate it later rather than trying to anticipate. u may be in for alot of surprises about what u can deal with and waht turns u on

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ORIGINAL: TheGaggingWh0re

So you've voiced your conerns and she's shown a lack of conern right back? Perhaps it was fine to suggest it the first time, but to keep talking about it, and I'm sorry to say, is just plain rude whether she's dominant or not. This goes beyond slave limits, in my opinion, this ought to be a personal limit, and I say that as in no matter what lifestyle you choose, you should never, ever have your expressed distaste for something go completely uncared for.

Now, I'm not passing judgement on her, that's soley your responsibility, but I will let tread in your mind this: If she is unconcerned about an obvious limit you have, what else will she be unconcerned about in the future that you two haven't unlocked yet? Perhaps after this she'll be a little more sensitive to what is crossing her lips, maybe not. In the end I think you ought to sit down and have a serious talk with her about it.

I had an owner who was dead set on having me give him a BJ while I was having an allergic reaction to some beer he had me try, and all the time I was saying 'stop, not now', he was advancing on me like he was in some sort of retarded trance. It ended up with me having some very resentful feelings toward him, especially when I finally snapped and told him to knock that shit off because I was having trouble breathing, and eventually I dumped his ass. Any owner that ever shows that sort of disconcern for me is not allowed to touch me. Ever.

Still, I hope it does work out for you! I really hope it doesn't turn nasty- that's never fun :( Keep us posted!

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ORIGINAL: FranklyAghast

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Every submissive and slave has the right to decide what their hard limits are. Some of us choose to go without them, but most of us have at least a few. For me, I won't serve as a toliet and some various other things. It sounds like this is a hard limit for you, and there isn't anything wrong with that. It's certainly very reasonable. I would advise sitting down with your mistress and telling her how you feel. If you decide that you definately don't want to do this, then tell her it's a hard limit. Then tell her if you are open to exploring it in the future or if you never want to have it pushed at all. Explain to her that it bothers you so much that it wants you want to go back to vanilla. Then she will have to decide if she is willing to let go of her desire or if she wants to find another submissive.

I suppose, as you suggest, the answer is quite straightforward and I'll just have to put that firm boundary in and hope that it doesn't cause any major problems in the relationship later down the line. I have a sneaky feeling that even if she accepts the line, it'll be a recurring subject :(

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ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

It's my opinion that if this will cause you psychological harm, she shouldn't do it. However, if it won't, then the only harm in doing it is 1) you may find that you DO like it (which could be a challenge for you) or 2) she'll realize by your reaction that it's not what she envisioned (in which case, she's likely to be angry). It's a risk on her part.

Master Fire