|
georgejames68 -> Is your relationship lacking in communication? (2/26/2007 7:05:24 PM)
|
A little background on this couple:
My lady is a Filipina and is typically shy, conservative and dislikes talking about things sexual. She was badly mistreated by her husband who then wandered off, got another girl friend and started a new family leaving my lady with 3 boys to raise on her own. She did so nicely and the boys are now nice young men, all good mechanics, all having jobs, and 2 of them married to nice girls.
About me, I’m 69, married twice, divorced once after 18 years, single for 14 years, remarried, she refused to go to Singapore with me for a job, stayed in USA with her sister, and suddenly I heard from the sister that she had bone cancer and had died! Long story which I won’t go into here. I’m mildly diabetic and have erectile dysfunction. Felt the desire and need to have an Asian woman for many years and when I finally retired, made arrangements to come to the Philippines to make my dream come true. I’m a dominant individual and prefer a D/s situation and would eventually love to have more than one lady in my life.
Whenever I approached a sexual subject, my lady would retire into her own little world and communication was difficult.
One day I saw a discussion on this site (Collarme) about what turns you girls on about oral sex, liking the subject immensely, I copied it and printed it in Excel. I was reluctant to bring up the subject with my lady knowing her aversion to discussing sex and let it lie around for a few days. Finally I thought “what the hell” and gave her the document.
When she first started to read it, she started (as I figured) a loud diatribe about sexual things and I mentally turned her off, knowing that the subject was probably dead for all practical purposes. Some time later I noticed a strange silence in the house and when I checked on her she was reading my printout. Not only was she reading it…. She was totally engrossed in it, so I decided to leave well enough alone and let her continue her reading to see what would come of it. She read on for a long time, (I had copied all 5 pages of that discussion) and occasionally came to me with a questions about the use of some of the words in the article, (her command of English was a little shaky), which I answered quickly and quietly, not wanting to break the mood that seemed to exist.
I watched her and she continued to be thoroughly engrossed in her reading. Evidently she was getting something out or the ladies replies to the discussion by reading, that she could never get by talking about it because of her fear of discussing it openly, even with a trusted companion such as I.
I had asked her to tick off any comments that either appealed to her or that she was adverse to. I noticed that she was marking several items and hoped that at least some of them were approvals and not all objections. Several hours later she came to me and dropped the article on my lap and walked away letting me see the results of her markings.
I was completely surprised by the results. She had been able to read about the subject and respond as never before by trying to talk about it. She’d been comfortable with the privacy of reading as related to trying to chat about it openly. As I looked at the check marks and “X”’s it became clear very quickly that much of what I had suspected about her likes and dislikes was true. She wasn’t at all turned off by oral, in fact had a healthy liking for it and had checked off several items such as items including bondage, forced (controlled) oral activity and so on. All this time I hadn’t been able to get inside her head and though I suspected she liked and desired some of these activities, she wouldn’t get into an open discussion about it and I was a bit stymied. NOW I was able to get a good feel for what was really going on in her head.
Maybe if any of you are having problems with being open about this potentially embarrassing subject, writing about it or printing out articles from an appropriate website might open up the communications. It sure did for us!!
End result…. Much more open lines of communication, though some care still needs to be exercised to avoid embarrassing her at times. Now I awaken to a warm mouth on my privates nearly every day, during the day she will suddenly kneel and open my trousers to start some delicious activities. And most enjoyable is the nightly ritual she has taken a love to, that of giving me some of the most wonderful oral pleasure I’ve ever had (I’ve loved and indulged in oral all my life).
While she loves me to return the oral activity, never once has she indicated that there was any need for me to reciprocate… if I wanted to, she was deliriously happy, but didn’t see a need for me to be concerned if I wasn’t in the mood. Several of the women had expressed this notion and my lady had checked off every single one of these.
I’ve discovered that backing her up against a wall and working my way up to driving deeply into her mouth sends her into seventh heaven. I love to tease her orally too, and she actually starts to tremble uncontrollably when I keep it up for some time. I absolutely love keeping her in extreme arousal for long periods, and even walking away from her fully aroused occasionally.
She surprised me the other day by expressing her desire to position her with her head hanging off the side of the bed so I had deep access to her throat and actually deep throating her that way, with long pauses when I was deepest into her. No struggles for breath, she knew she could trust me not to hold too long. No pushing me away in discomfort, rather she would grasp me by the asscheeks and draw me deeper and deeper into her oral cavity.
Amazing what a little communication can do for a relationship!!!! While I always felt that she was a liberated woman and wanted more, the nervous tension and embarrassment had held her back for a very long time. Being badly mistreated by her ex certainly hadn’t helped either! Over the years, I’ve found that bad treatment by an ex is one of the most detrimental, destructive things that can happen to a woman and therefore your new relationship with her. Being gentle with her for a time until the trust is built back up, and, voilla!!! You may suddenly have a woman who delights in being treated roughly, forcefully, enjoys a bit of degradation, treated like a slut and enjoying it….. A whole different woman that you met!!!! Of course most women still enjoy being with a man who treats her like a lady and knows how to be gentle and thoughtful with her…. That is until she might send you the hidden signal such as a saucy remark that signals that she’s ready for something stronger!
I hope that some of you male readers can take some of the hints in this letter and turn what might be a so-so relationship into something astounding!!! I know that some of the ladies consider what I’ve written as so much hogwash and are always ready for a jousting match and being manhandled, but I bet there are as many ladies who would find this more acceptable.
George
|
|
|
|
