RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you?

RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (Full Version)

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sambamanslilgirl -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/27/2007 7:52:23 PM)
to no one particular - i kept stating that my opinions expressed my personal point of view and in no way did i expected anyone to take them as gospel. sheeeeesh - free your mind, people! this will be a neverending argument with no set right or wrong answers just like everyone with their own interpretation of being a submissive online and/or real-time is true submission. i'm very blunt and opinionated - i don't sugarcoat or hold back what i'm thinking. just because my views expressed about what a slave/sub is doesn't mean i'll treat you as stated. enough said have a good evening

SilverShadows -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/27/2007 7:56:34 PM)
Per our conversation on this subject on another thread: You have done an eloquent job of stating your contract. You may not call it a contract but to me it is a contract. You identify as a submissive and that is all that is important to me in determining what I would call you.

Kirei -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/27/2007 7:56:37 PM)
The terms slave and submissive mean different things to different people. That is also to me what seems to cause a lot of confusion for people who are new and interested in the lifestyle. It makes it hard for them to learn. For me I feel everyone starts out as submissive. Having choice and setting those choices in the beginning to the person they want to have control over them. A slave is a nothing more than a term, like pet, that is used to describe a more deeper, more knowledgeable, and sometimes more well defined lifestyle relationship. Yet the term submissive could still be used for this relationship too. If there were a set rule book and rules, it may very well be much easier to figure things out...yet the lifestyle we know might also not be as big or open as it is today. The best way for anyone to define the term sub or slave is to have them write it out for you. Then see if what they wrote makes sense to them. If it doesn't then at least I know where to start teaching as a dominant. Koneko

justheather -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/27/2007 7:59:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SilverShadows Per our conversation on this subject on another thread: You have done an eloquent job of stating your contract. You may not call it a contract but to me it is a contract. You identify as a submissive and that is all that is important to me in determining what I would call you. Actually, I see your point and would tend to agree about negotiation, spoken or unspoken, being universally present. I appreciate the dialogue.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/27/2007 8:01:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I thought I would add this: You kinda set yourself up when you said "slaves are this way and submissives are that way" instead of saying what your own personal experience is with your label. It was a very negative statement you made about people that call themselves slaves, and if someone made that statement about you based on calling yourself a submissive, I bet you would react too. to answer your statement - no i wouldn't jump on the person if the tables were turned i would merely state my opinions just like that person. and no i didn't set myself up for anything - i was only replying with my opinions to the original OP of this thread. now if you and anyone else too my OPINIONS (hint the word opinions) to heart - then you have the problem - not me. nowhere did i state that you have to take my word as such. everyone has their own views and opinions and there never be a wrong and/or right answer that everyone would have to follow in the BDSM community. if i sounded negative, i apologize however i don't hold back my opinion even if it's negative (hint flame away - i have a thicker skin than most). sighs

valeca -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/27/2007 8:12:46 PM)
quote: Original: valeca Just a question: What in your experiences has fostered these impressions you have about those who identify as slave? That was the entirety of my post/question. quote: ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl didn't know i needed to have experience first to express my own personal point of view - someone didn't give me a rulebook when i "discovered" my submissiveness. I think you've misunderstood the question. I'm not asking you to justify your opinion or point of view, nor did I say you have to have a certain amount of experience before forming opinions. I'm just wondering if there has been something in your experiences with those who identify as slaves (if any) that has fostered your view of them. Maybe there wasn't; maybe it was an opinion that sprung up fully formed from nothing...How'm I to know if I don't ask? Seriously, I'm beginning to wonder if it's just best not to ask clarifying questions anymore.

Wildnfreehrt2004 -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/27/2007 8:44:32 PM)
I don't see as much difference between the most common definitions of submissive and slave. Some define submissives as I would a bottom. Some would say the way I define my limits that I am more of a slave..... the labels matter little to any other than the ones using them.Some say that if a slave is not in a relationship, they cannot be a slave. For me, the differences are a degree of responsibility and commitment... but then I was taught that a Ds relationship that lasts long enough to reach the point of total surrender and trust just moved to a Ms level. Wildy Where I end up may be where you started; instead of disagreeing about the labels, let's celebrate the journey.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/27/2007 8:48:31 PM)
I'm still waiting for an answer to my question.

dcnovice -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/27/2007 8:55:36 PM)
Slaves tend to be fatter than submissives.

MzMia -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/27/2007 9:48:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy quote: ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? Is there a difference for you? To me and for me, there is a difference. These are the definitions that i use and that have relevance in my life experience. *A submissive* is someone who submits to another's authority or will.** A slave is an owned person and the property of another. In this society, which outlawed slavery, being owned by another is strictly consensensual and is based on the Owner and the property agreeing to and accepting this arrangement. *As a submissive, i kept my birth name.* *As a slave, my Master chose my name.* When i was in D/s relationships, i submitted when my Doms were present, otherwise, i was just as independent and self-determined in what i did and when and how as i chose to be. When He was with me, i served Him completely but, as soon as He was gone, i was right back to doing whatever i felt like, until the next time i was with Him or the next time He gave me a task to complete. It was almost like having a split personality and i didn't like it. i wanted to be under His control all the time and not have the freedom to make my own choices. That was one of my main reasons for seeking a 24/7/365 Master/slave TPE relationship. When i became a slave, i had to go through a period of readjustment but, i was extremely motivated to become a total slave to my Master. He had to break a few bad habits that i had from years of being a submissive and not a slave. The main bad habit that i brought with me was a mindset that i knew better than my Master of what was good for me, when, in fact, my very smart and caring Master who is very concerned about His slave's health and well being and wants to protect her, even from herself (a workaholic and below-knee amputee), actually knows what is best for His slave, including how much sleep she needs to be at her best and when to get off of her leg. As a slave, even when my Master isn't present, i continue to hear His voice and to do what He has told me to do and what He would want me to do, if He were present. i don't stop being a slave when He is not with me. It is within me to stay a slave every minute of the day, instead of deciding to just do whatever i feel like just because He isn't there to see. i am not locked up or chained all the time and i could get away with a lot when He is at work or doing other things but, i don't because i don't want to. i want to stay true to my obligation to serve my Master 24/7, whether He is with me or not. He isn't forcing me to do this. It is an internal drive within me. Other than that, i serve my Master exactly as i served every Dom i had relationships with, all of which lasted between 1 - 7 years each. My life as a slave is now much more strict and structured, which is what i was needing in my life. slave joy Owned property of Master David I agree with what you said so eloquently. Some say there is no difference, but to ME, there is a different level of submission. To ME, there is a deeper level of committment in being a slave.

juliaoceania -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/27/2007 9:52:22 PM)
quote: now if you and anyone else too my OPINIONS (hint the word opinions) to heart - Since I am not a slave I cannot imagine why I would be heartfelt upset by your opinions I do not respect all opinions equally btw.. for example I do not think much about the opinions of racist people either, and they can say exactly what you have "it's only an opinion"

amayos -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/27/2007 11:02:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl To me slave is more of a fantasy term, because when I think about it, real slavery is completely impossible to achieve in a safe, sane, and consensual situation. There are abusive relationships out there that the “slave” is really a slave and does not feel that that have the choice weather or not to leave. But of course we do not call those relationships safe or sane or consensual and hopefully no one calls them D/s. What is safe, sane and consensual, but words that can be twisted and pulled in so many ways, or in the very least, flexible mantras that look good to the impressionable public? What is abuse, but a concept of misuse which will vary from person to person? The lady who uses a boy's waiting mouth as an ashtray would not see him as being misused at all; she no doubt finds him tremendously convenient at that moment. Others might find that abusive, unsafe, and not very sane on his part. In either case, I doubt she really cares what the Leather Alliance Consensus might be. The crux is that the gamut of dominance and submission cannot be reliably measured and legitimized by tidy leather watchwords, no matter how cute, catchy or inclusive their acronyms are made out to be.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/28/2007 1:09:44 AM)
Me too, infact Daddy and I had this conversation tonight, he thinks the difference between a slave and a sub is that slaves have collars, and other than that there's no difference. And I believe slaves make one choice, who they serve and to serve them, Slaves would never get away with or shouldn't no Master I didn't do my schoolwork because I chose to read my book, I as a sub, while I shouldn't get away with it, because of the fact it's important, do because it's my choice to decide. quote: ORIGINAL: imthesimpleone To me submission is similar to the control the U.S. has over free speech. Submissives can control the time, place, and manner in which they choose to submit. Slaves give over that choice to their owners whom they trust to make those decisions for them....

YourhandMyAss -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/28/2007 1:13:43 AM)
so I should be a slave because I weigh 300 pounds? how much weight loss should I loose to go back to being a submissive only, or better yet a bottom,[:D] Daddy is the only one I am subservient to! quote: ORIGINAL: dcnovice Slaves tend to be fatter than submissives.

agirl -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/28/2007 2:22:38 AM)
The terms no longer mean anything to me. I used to use them as a rough guide to a relationship type but no longer bother even thinking that way. If someone calls themselves a slave .......then slave it is.....ditto submissive. I might not be much wiser about how they see themselves but it isn't important to me. If asked, I just say that I'm an owned person. agirl

kyraofMists -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/28/2007 3:29:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: valeca Seriously, I'm beginning to wonder if it's just best not to ask clarifying questions anymore. valeca, I don't think you should stop asking those type of questions. Clarifying questions are not threatening to people who have substance to back up their opinions or thoughts. However, they can be very threatening when the other person's opinion is made out of straw. Knight's kyra

StellaByStarlite -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/28/2007 4:49:44 AM)
Hello =) Oh boy, I'm probably going to catch some flack for this, but here goes. I really feel some folks over-analyze this particular subject way too much. Don't get me wrong, discussions are wonderful, but I've seen this debate numerous times and it always covers the same points, ad nauseum. It's easy to see how new people could get all caught up in dissecting various definitions of both words and forget to concentrate on their actual relationship. I call myself a slave simply because it pleases my owner. If he woke up tomorrow and decided that he no longer cared to define our relationship in O/s terms, it wouldn't effect my devotion and service towards him one single bit. Sure, things might change over time, but we're not thinking about it too much right now. We're focusing on the here and now... and enjoying ourselves. Cheers, Stella

bludemonn -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/28/2007 4:53:02 AM)
Dont apologise for expressing your opinion lol in my view a sub is someone who becomes submissive and a slave is someone who is already subservient. My view anyways.

slavegirljoy -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/28/2007 5:38:24 AM)
i would just add, that, while i have had relationships (long term) with several Dominants, i have only ever had two Masters. To my Doms, i was their submissive. To my Masters, i was their slave. The defining difference between my status as a submissive or as a slave wasn't due to a change in the level of my submission or the level of my committment. i was just as submissive and just as committed to my Doms as i have been with my Masters. The difference was the amount and degree of CONTROL that my Masters chose to exercise over me. If any of my former Doms had decided to exercise more control over me (which was something i craved and needed), they would have had themselves a slave instead of a submissive. It was not a matter of what i was willing to give, it was a matter of how much THEY wanted to take. And, i have always given as much as the Dom or Master wanted to take. But, it was the Dom or the Master who defined my status with Him, not me. And that was why, when i realized i was not getting the level and degree of control from a Dominant that i was needing, i decided to seek out a Master who was looking for a 24/7/365 TPE slave. slave joy Owned property of Master David

angeldevil -> RE: What do the terms slave and submissive mean to you? (2/28/2007 5:54:26 AM)
My take is that slave takes it that step further in that you are happy to be totally controlled in every aspect of your life, whereas submissive means you retain some control in your day to day life but always show respect. Probably totally wrong...but is just my perception![sm=idea.gif]

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