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Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 8:13:57 PM   
Berefsky


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline 		Hi.  I have a girlfriend who has been coming along as my mistress, but she seems to think submission means turning over all my assets.  I find this very annoying.  Any advice?

Berefsky
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 8:23:38 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		How long have you been going out with here?


Diane

(in reply to Berefsky)
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RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 8:24:37 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		You have three options:

1- do it and deal with it
2- leave her
3- talk to her about your expectations of a D/s relationship and her expectations of the same and find a compromise.

Obviously, the best option is 3.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

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RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 8:26:18 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		If it's a boundary issue for you, meaning it will harm you in some way (emotionally, psychologically, physically or spiritually), put your foot down. You're a healthy human adult and are allow to find someone who fits your needs.

However, if you're in a committed relationship where you've already said that you don't have these limits, your choice is to obey or not. There are consequences of each action and you have to weigh for yourself what is acceptable to you.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to Berefsky)
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RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 8:30:42 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Berefsky
Hi.  I have a girlfriend who has been coming along as my mistress, but she seems to think submission means turning over all my assets.  I find this very annoying.  Any advice?
Berefsky
Yes, my advice is turn over all your assets.  
If you find submitting to her desires and expectations annoying and too much, leave and go find someone who dominates more to your liking heh.    M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Berefsky)
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RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 8:41:04 PM   
Berefsky


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks for your replies.  Concensus seems to be to leave.  I've been seeing her for almost three years, off and on.

Berefsky

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
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RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 8:43:24 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		I wouldn't say that the consensus is to leave - I believe most said that if you can't deal with it, and can't negotiate a different method of D/s, then leave ... but I think the consensus would actually be to talk to her about it.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

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RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 8:46:02 PM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		Have you discussed it with her?  Does she know you are also actively seeking other dominant women?

(in reply to Berefsky)
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RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 9:16:10 PM   
Berefsky


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline 		Yes I have discussed it with her, with little luck.  We used to live nearby, but I've recently moved.  She only seems to be interested in the money.  This saddens me, as I think she has a flair for dominance.  I certainly like her.  But it looks like the end of the road to me. 

Berefsky

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)
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RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 9:51:48 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		It may be the end of the road if she is only after your wallet.
Good luck.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Berefsky)
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RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 9:52:23 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		See, this is information that you should have mentioned in the OP ... you've already talked to her and have not reached an agreement with her that is acceptable to you.  I would think that it's common sense at this point - you are not getting what you want/need out of the relationship, you've tried to discuss it with her and it hasn't worked, the only two options left are to suck it up or leave.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to Berefsky)
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RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 10:05:14 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		She only wants you for your money. There are plenty of others out there who would use you in a good way.

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RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 10:06:16 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		ooops, I meant to post that to the OP

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RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 10:10:41 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Money is not a bad way to use someone if the someone is willing to be used that way.
The only issue I see is his discomfort with it, and that is the same as any other incompatibility.    M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
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RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 11:11:24 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


Posts: 777
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		D/s is all about give and take. Money is a very tricky issue in any relationship.

To the OP, your Mistress seems to have been meeting your needs, but have you been making her happy too?

A professional dominatrix would cost you $300 per hour over here in Australia.  What did you do for your Mistress that was worth $300 for every hour she spent with you?

Is it possible that you have been "taking" more from Mistress than you give and she is fed up with the situation?  Are you a bit mean with money?  Is she really asking for all your assets or just a bit more generosity on your part (given she has been with you for 3 years)?

Money is a touchy issue, but no-one likes feeling they are being used.  Not you (obviously), but not her either.



< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 2/27/2007 11:12:57 PM >

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
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RE: Money Hungry - 2/27/2007 11:54:23 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Is it possible that you have been "taking" more from Mistress than you give and she is fed up with the situation?  Are you a bit mean with money?  Is she really asking for all your assets or just a bit more generosity on your part (given she has been with you for 3 years)?

Money is a touchy issue, but no-one likes feeling they are being used.  Not you (obviously), but not her either.
Very well said Ms C...  I suspect the OP knows money is a tricky sugject and for that reason named his thread "money hungry", because "I might be cheap, bad at courtship, and looking for free topping" wouldn't look as good for him.   Just my impression, especially given his response after the the first responders posted.    M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
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RE: Money Hungry - 2/28/2007 9:10:00 AM   
ServenteMail


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/7/2007
Status: offline 		berefsky

to quote >Hi. I have a girlfriend who has been COMING ALONG as my mistress<
coming along where? to church? Coming along to become one?

WTF do you think happens to us wased up old men? Of course she wants your fucking money idiot! When I was sucessfull that is all I was good for! Over time my businesses faiedl because of legal and prison time and my resale value became less and less till here i am now with no resale value!

you're much older than me so you should have seen this coming years ago.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
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RE: Money Hungry - 2/28/2007 9:32:51 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		IS she a Gold digger? you aren't collared yet are you? IF not tell her the will give her what you want to give and if that don't satisfy her then determine which direction you want to go...IF this doen't sit well with you then perhaps you should move on...bouny

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RE: Money Hungry - 2/28/2007 11:13:35 AM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		Sorry to hear that you find this so annoying. 
For Me,and I make it very clear from the get go...Controlling the financial assets is part of the submission. Of course,I am seeking a slave and I am not into any  casual,on again off again D/s relationships. 
Did it occur to you that she might be interested in stepping up the relationship to something more serious and with more commitment?  That said, you have stated you talked, so I will leave that possible scenario there  In most cases, it is not about being money hungry, Berefsky, it is about Power.  Money = Power.  Plain and simple.  If you have the luxury of having your own place, your own money and your own schedule to as you please, and then you play at being submissive in exchange for some exciting, albeit temporary, D/s games when it is convenient for you...well, for Me that does not a D/s, and defintely not a M/s, relationship make.  But, to each his own. 
Good luck.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to Berefsky)
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RE: Money Hungry - 2/28/2007 12:44:37 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ServenteMail
WTF do you think happens to us wased up old men? Of course she wants your fucking money idiot! When I was sucessfull that is all I was good for! Over time my businesses faiedl because of legal and prison time and my resale value became less and less till here i am now with no resale value!

you're much older than me so you should have seen this coming years ago.
I don't know what age you are, but I know I've dated older men who've got less money than I, and they certainly didn't spend money (aside from dinner) on me.
You're bitter over the money, and acting used, but I wonder if you sought relationships based on what you could flash (with girl and cars), or something deeper...   It would seem you felt/feel you are good for nothing more than your financial worth, and that is sad/unfortunate for you, since apparently you've got none now.  

Secondly, anyone could tell you that spending time in prison puts a damper on any relationship, and doesn't exactly make you sound like a "catch"...  Unless it was for something honorable, like fighting for human rights, or saving your woman/offspring.   M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 2/28/2007 12:46:56 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to ServenteMail)
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