Daily Schedules (Full Version)

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curiouslyseeking -> Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 3:43:23 PM)

Do you believe a daily schedule/routine for a slave is a staple in the foundation of a M/s relationship?  Why or why not? 
 
If so, please share briefly an example of daily routine..is there allotted time for chores, personal grooming, exercise.. etc ?
 
Respectfully,
Curious



ShiftedJewel -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 3:47:12 PM)

I think our girl has a schedule that she uses, like what days she changes the sheets on all the beds and things like that. But as far as Us making out a schedule? I don't see that as working, our days vary way to much and it would be way to confusing to try and keep.
 
I guess it would have to depend on the individuals involved.
 
Jewel



mstrjx -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 3:54:08 PM)

Some sub/slaves require more structure, which a schedule would provide, than others.

Some sub/slaves need/desire/want differing levels of (micro)managing.

As my methods differ greatly depending on the person who I'm with, I would say that 'nothing' is really a 'staple'.  I have interests that would be explored with anyone, but scheduling wouldn't fall into that category.

I would say 'attention' is more a foundation of a D/s or M/s relationship.  But attention can manifest itself in many ways.

Jeff



MistressDiane -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 3:58:08 PM)

Like some of the others have already stated....some do better with a schedule, some don't need one. In my opinion it depends on the individual.
for example...If  I see a slave is having difficulty managing their time after it's clear what the daily expectations are we will sit down together and develop a schedule.



curiouslyseeking -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:01:37 PM)

Thank you so very much for the responses thus far...but wouldn't a schedule/ routine portray control, obedience and discipline which are staples of  a M/s?
 
Respectfully,
curious



kitXI7 -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:03:22 PM)

I personally like having a list of expectations every day ... Not neccessarily a schedule but more like, "I expect to have the following tasks completed by the time I get home ..."

I was homeschooled through high school. I did college courses through correspondence and I am currently self-employed so time management is one of my strong points provided that I know exactly what is expected of me and how much time I have to complete said expectations.

Structure is good but for me, personally, too much structure can become stifling. I guess thats just the artist in me ...



StellaByStarlite -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:08:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

Do you believe a daily schedule/routine for a slave is a staple in the foundation of a M/s relationship?  Why or why not? 
 
If so, please share briefly an example of daily routine..is there allotted time for chores, personal grooming, exercise.. etc ?
 
Respectfully,
Curious



Hello. =)

Man, I live for schedules. =) We just got a Dayplanner, actually, so my owner can plan out my entire week. Not so much for micromanagement, more for accomplishing goals.

Stella



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:16:44 PM)

No. He does not believe in schedualing my day nor every moment of it. With the exception of wake up time, I wake up at 9 by his call, he talks to me till 10 gets off the phone goes into work then I am on my own. I have certain things like schoolwork I am expected to do everyday, but when I do them is up to me.
quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

Do you believe a daily schedule/routine for a slave is a staple in the foundation of a M/s relationship?  Why or why not?  
 



mp072004 -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:18:24 PM)

I believe that a carefully-composed schedule helps anyone. How do people who don't schedule their days manage their time and ensure that they have neither too much to do each day nor too few activities to fill the day? Because I think writing out a schedule increases productivity, efficiency, and happiness, I encourage people around me to make schedules, and should I develop a serious relationship with a person who had agreed to obey me, I would require him or her to carefully manage time as well. I'd happily give general advice, and, like anyone in a relationship, some of the obligations and appointments on the calendar would involve time with me, but I wouldn't want to draw up a schedule for anyone else, even if that person was my submissive. It makes extra work for me, and it's likely easier for the person in question to know how long it takes him or her to eat, or to bathe, or to grocery shop, in any case.

If you write a 24-hour schedule, where you schedule every activity, you absolutely must allow time for personal grooming and chores--otherwise, you would book up all your time with activities other than cooking and washing your hair, and you would become a stinky-haired hungry person, or, you would find that you're unexpectedly rushing your other tasks. You might decide that you need to work from 9 to 6, and that you require eight hours of sleep each night. Then, you might determine that you need three hours for working out, showering, dressing, and commuting before work, so you would know that you needed to get up at 6. And so on--the basic principle is that you accurately determine how much time you need for a particular activity, and you assign it a time block, and then you stick to it. It's good to assign yourself leisure time and treat it as an appointment, even if your leisure time is spent alone. It's also important to understand the relative priority of your activities in case of a last-minute addition to your commitments for a given day--this allows you to determine whether you could sacrifice some sleep, or defer your vacuuming to the next day, or whatever, in order to give yourself an extra half-hour to run to the post office, or to take care of that extra work project. Time management 101.

Monica



gypsygrl -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:22:20 PM)

My schedules keep me sane, or, perhaps, they are an indicator of my psychic balance.  I wouldn't claim that a schedule would be the foundation of a relationship, M/s or otherwise, but if I'm going to be in a relationship and remain sane, I'm pretty sure my need for scheduling and regularity needs to be respected.

This doesn't mean I expect someone else to manage my time or provide a schedule in the sense of being micromanaged.  I am perfectly capable of doing this for myself and have quite a lot of discipline.  On the other hand, I'm not especially worried where my sense of order comes from and I don't think it would bother me to be in a situation where someone else set the pace, so long as it felt orderly and predictable and I had lots of objective cues to tell me where I was and what I was supposed to be doing.

As to the why question, I can only speak for myself, but I understand my need for routine to be a function of the fact that I have very permeable psychic structures.  My internal world collapses often and usually quite suddenly so I really do need external regulation to keep me on an even keel.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:22:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking
Do you believe a daily schedule/routine for a slave is a staple in the foundation of a M/s relationship?  Why or why not? 

Nope. Life is too varied and hectic to think we could all have a daily schedule and routine.

That being said, most people work better on having a SOMEWHAT regular life and a routine of what to do.  For perfectionists especially, routine can being them a sense of calm and control.  Since a lot of slaves are perfectionist control freaks, this is exactly what they need.

I need to eat/sleep/orgasm on a fairly routine schedule or else I will begin to have migraines and other ill effects.  But my life is too busy to adhere to a strict daily schedule and it would actually be an interference on things to try.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:25:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking
Thank you so very much for the responses thus far...but wouldn't a schedule/ routine portray control, obedience and discipline which are staples of  a M/s?

Respectfully,
curious

Yes, but a person can show all of those things without having a specific schedule/routine also.

My mother was on the "not very managing" end of the spectrum, I never had a real bedtime, no real restrictions on anything except having boys spend the night.  But she was the one who always tried to get me to stay home and take a day off rather than push myself too hard.

I'm really glad I've taught myself over time to relax more :)



StellaByStarlite -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:30:31 PM)

Hello. =)

I think my love of an actual written down schedule has a lot to do with my fetish for "business". My owner and I have a definite " boss/subordinate" flavor to us, so the Dayplanner is just a physical trapping of that.

Cheers,
Stella



ArgoGeorgia -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:30:50 PM)

Like others have mentioned previously, I'm more of a task or goal manager than a micromanager.  Both in relationships and in my professional career.  I've found that with many people, though certainly not all, giving someone a set lists of tasks and goals to accomplish and a deadline to accomplish them by can instill a bigger sense of accomplishment and pride in a 'job well done' than having the boss hanging over the shoulder.  Again, your mileage may vary, offer not valid in all states. 



mstrjx -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:38:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

Thank you so very much for the responses thus far...but wouldn't a schedule/ routine portray control, obedience and discipline which are staples of  a M/s?
 
Respectfully,
curious


Before I answer this specifically, let me go back to a schedule.

Before I go to work every day, I recall what things I would like to accomplish in the timeframe that I have.  If I have to go to the bank for the company, I know that I have to leave work at 3:30 on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and 5:00 on Thursday and Friday.  So, I know more or less when to plan on leaving.

When I go in might depend on if I see something stacking up that I need to handle before the bulk of the other employees arrive.  Usually, this truly isn't the case, so I can go in at 9:00 when my business is 'open'.

The wild card is that I usually do not know if something requiring my attention occurs after I leave the prior day, or if something has happened in the morning before my arrival.  If either of these happens, then those things take priority over whatever else I might have wanted to do.  Sometimes these unscheduled events might require hours of my personal attention.

Getting behind in a schedule, for someone who is mindful of these things, is usually more depressing than not.  You start to feel as if you aren't contributing enough to what YOU feel needs to be done.

So, expectations that do not account for the unexpected really isn't fair.  In my opinion.

Back to this follow-up question.

A schedule might be an indicator of discipline, but as I've recounted above getting thrown off course might 'appear' bad, when it truly isn't.

Obedience (from a sub/slave) is really a factor more of respect, I feel, than structure.  If I have done (whatever) to earn your trust and respect, obedience, which is a form of 'pleasing' is certain to follow.

I really hate to nitpick words, but 'portraying' control really rubbed me the wrong way.  I think again it goes back to what the Dom(me)/Master/Mistress has accomplished with the sub/slave to get that person to where they are now (relationship- and/or headspace-wise).  If I have control, both of us will know it and behave accordingly.  If perchance I don't have control, then it is likely that respect has gone away and the relationship is on shaky ground.

I will go back to what I said before, which is that a schedule is one mechanism for achieving some sort of 'structure'.  Structure can take many forms, but its use or necessity will vary on the subject.

Jeff



kyraofMists -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:43:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

Thank you so very much for the responses thus far...but wouldn't a schedule/ routine portray control, obedience and discipline which are staples of  a M/s?
 
Respectfully,
curious


I will answer this question first... No, I don't think this is accurate for every slave.  What requires more control, obedience and discipline from me is not having a schedule; flexibility and spontenaity is something that I struggle with.  Since it is contrary to my nature, it is a push to be disciplined and obedient under these conditions and these are the times that I most feel his control. 

I schedule myself because this is the way that I work best.  I am a planner, an organizer and I am highly efficient this way.  I have become less anal about this over the years and have learned to be more flexible.  He can change things on a dime and completely alter what we are doing.  This is such a struggle with me and it was very difficult to build certainty  in what was going on when he could change his mind at any time, with no notice and I just had to go along for the ride.  It takes a lot of strength for me to be able to go with the flow and he has learned which parts of my day need to stay as much on schedule as possible to maintain my well-being.

Knight's kyra



Wildfleurs -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:47:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking

Do you believe a daily schedule/routine for a slave is a staple in the foundation of a M/s relationship?  Why or why not? 
 
If so, please share briefly an example of daily routine..is there allotted time for chores, personal grooming, exercise.. etc ?
 
Respectfully,
Curious


I don't believe its a staple of an M/s relationship at all.  I do think it can and is present in some M/s structures and not present in others. 

I've noticed that online the predominate belief about what a slave is seems to be a stay at home person who isn't necessarily very assertive and was looking for direction in their life.  Its been a long standing pet peeve of mine because I think that slave simply means property, but property doesn't have to be passive, lacking in direction, or lacking in a strong career with goals. 

I think if you own property that doesn't fit into that mold trying to structure a rigid schedule is going to be extremely difficult, and also in many respects pointless if service is a significant part of the structure.  I can't imagine trying to provide on the spot, responsive, and flexible service dependent on things that come up or my owners needs within some pre-defined rigid structure. 

Toss in having property that has a clear direction (defined by the owner, but certainly encompassing having property with a full and rigorous life) and even (gasp!) a strong career I just can't see the practicality or even purpose of a rigid schedule.

With that said I can certainly see having goals or broad tasks that have to be completed with deadlines as fitting in almost any sort of M/s structure, but a rigid schedule where you have to set a specific time for grooming really only works with a particular type of slave, I think.

C~



ExSteelAgain -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:49:44 PM)

No, I don't think schedules are important. Some people have lives that are not appropriate for routine. Some work on projects or cases where it is NASCAR like speed for a few days with little sleep and then nothing for days. My work is much like that.

When I begin the long walk from the parking lot before dawn and I know it is going to be an experience, the excitement can be exhilarating. You couldn’t tie a sub to a schedule if she worked like me nor would I have time to enforce a schedule I gave to a sub. Remember enforcing this thing will not be easy.

Plus, CE has a full time career, two kids, her own house to keep up and is working on another grad degree. I don’t think she needs me calling or emailing her to tell her to do some ritual-like task. She takes care of herself well.    



hisannabelle -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:57:16 PM)

i don't think it's a staple. for us, life is too hectic to worry about daily schedules...i have my usual schedules, and He has His, and we have our usual times we call each other and see each other, but there's lots of room for variation.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Daily Schedules (2/28/2007 4:57:56 PM)

My life doesn't allow for a rigid schedule.  I have my job, my school, my assignments from my Master...I help my mother since my Dad died, and I'm dealing with some personal circumstances that require a lot of my time. Most of what I do calls for flexibility on my part, and the ability to multi task well.

While I do not have an actual daily routine, my Master does approve my schedule.  I propose to him my weekly and daily schedule for approval, and if something comes up - say dinner with a friend or a family outing -  I ask his permission.  If he is unavaible to respond, then I don't go.

Where discipline and obedience come in is when I am able to complete all he requires of me within the deadlines he sets, despite the chaos of the world around me these days.  When the load feels too heavy for me to carry, I ask for his help in prioritizing, and he is happy to guide me accordingly.



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