Was I wrong to take offence? (Full Version)

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moki1984 -> Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 7:56:55 PM)

I recently received a message from a dom who wished to speak with me. Of course I get 50 of these a day lol (exaggeration), but I seen no reason not to. The second sentence of out his mouth began putting me down with derogatory terms and names that I do not feel like repeating...I politely told him "No disrespect but I do not like anybody except the man I submit to saying such derogatory things to me or name calling. Again i mean no disrespect" to which he rplied by telling me to go fuck myself.............so i called him an asshole and stopped talking to him. Looking back I do nto think I was wrong in taking offense....just because someone is dom does not mean they can run around calling anyone and everyone a cunt etc. etc...so I ask...do you think my reaction was wrong? I stand by what I said to him but I am curious if anyone agrees/disagree's. Thank you for taking the time to read this entire thing lol.



boltaction -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 7:59:28 PM)

You know what the answer to this already is. Of course you were right, real doms show respect to everyone until that certain someone wishes him or her not to...



Tristan -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 7:59:49 PM)

Based on what you described, I see nothing wrong with your response. 



MistressDolly -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 8:00:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: moki1984

I recently received a message from a dom who wished to speak with me. Of course I get 50 of these a day lol (exaggeration), but I seen no reason not to. The second sentence of out his mouth began putting me down with derogatory terms and names that I do not feel like repeating...I politely told him "No disrespect but I...


He didn't deserve even that...



ArgoGeorgia -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 8:01:22 PM)

I think the term 'safe, sane, and consensual' definitely applies here.  He certainly did not sound sane, and him abusing you in this fashion was not consensual.  So you were well within your rights.  Dom does not equal asshole, no matter how many assholes say otherwise.



moki1984 -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 8:01:40 PM)

thank you



FukinTroll -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 8:03:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: moki1984

I recently received a message from a dom who wished to speak with me. Of course I get 50 of these a day lol (exaggeration), but I seen no reason not to. The second sentence of out his mouth began putting me down with derogatory terms and names that I do not feel like repeating...I politely told him "No disrespect but I do not like anybody except the man I submit to saying such derogatory things to me or name calling. Again i mean no disrespect" to which he rplied by telling me to go fuck myself.............so i called him an asshole and stopped talking to him. Looking back I do nto think I was wrong in taking offense....just because someone is dom does not mean they can run around calling anyone and everyone a cunt etc. etc...so I ask...do you think my reaction was wrong? I stand by what I said to him but I am curious if anyone agrees/disagree's. Thank you for taking the time to read this entire thing lol.


Let’s look at it objectively. If face slapping wasn't your bag and he walked up and started smacking you around what would you have done?



AquaticSub -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 8:07:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: moki1984

I recently received a message from a dom who wished to speak with me. Of course I get 50 of these a day lol (exaggeration), but I seen no reason not to. The second sentence of out his mouth began putting me down with derogatory terms and names that I do not feel like repeating...I politely told him "No disrespect but I do not like anybody except the man I submit to saying such derogatory things to me or name calling. Again i mean no disrespect" to which he rplied by telling me to go fuck myself.............so i called him an asshole and stopped talking to him. Looking back I do nto think I was wrong in taking offense....just because someone is dom does not mean they can run around calling anyone and everyone a cunt etc. etc...so I ask...do you think my reaction was wrong? I stand by what I said to him but I am curious if anyone agrees/disagree's. Thank you for taking the time to read this entire thing lol.


You weren't wrong in taking offense. There is a reason particular names/words are used in humaliation play and that's because in most settings people don't like them being applied to their person. He took a risk in using them and he reaped his reward.



DoctorDubious -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 8:10:13 PM)



Didju thank him for saving
you from wasting even one extra
heartbeat's worth of time over him?

The dude is a genius of time management,
when ya think about it, eh?

DD




azzmaster -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 8:10:21 PM)

its alot easier just to say, ur rude, then totally ignor the person



LadyHugs -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 8:13:39 PM)

Dear moki1984, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In my mind's eyes I see, Dominants should practice good manners and good behavior and attitude period.  Unfortunately, all too often--there are Dominants who demand/expect/command respect however, for many reasons do not grasp the concept that respect is earned and it is earned by giving.
 
Just as Dominants come in all flavors, some seem to feel the need to posture and claim superior status.  Most seasoned Dominants know that such are not good examples of what should be however, there are more Dominants who are respectful then the rear end where the sun doesn't shine with a brown hanging chad swinging freely in the air.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs



domahpet -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 8:17:52 PM)

well, at least you didnt spend a couple of weeks of your time before the name calling started, like i did, you lucky girl



SweetSarijane -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 8:31:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

 there are more Dominants who are respectful then the rear end where the sun doesn't shine with a brown hanging chad swinging freely in the air.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs


Too funny! You have such a way with words LadyHugs



Mikal -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 8:35:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs
... Just as Dominants come in all flavors, ... seasoned Dominants...

Just a quick lil' hijack... Lady Hugs, what flavours do you find Dominants in? I'm particularily fond of ketchup and curry (NOT together tyvm), but I haven't found a Dominant so flavoured... or sub either. [&o] Also, what seasonings do you use to keep your Dominant skin so lovely? Or are the seasonings just for spicier sex?

To the OP - you were perfectly within your rights. He was out of line, and there was no excuse. Simple as that.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 8:44:17 PM)

Someone else's lack of manners is never an excuse to forget one's own.

I'd worry more about why you gave an online stranger the ability to affect you so deeply.  You have to choose to take offense at something- why waste energy on that?



azzmaster -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 9:04:49 PM)

LA that is a good way to put it. why let someone u don't know affect ur headspace? its a waste of time



Sinergy -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 9:13:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: moki1984

I recently received a message from a dom who wished to speak with me. Of course I get 50 of these a day lol (exaggeration), but I seen no reason not to. The second sentence of out his mouth began putting me down with derogatory terms and names that I do not feel like repeating...I politely told him "No disrespect but I do not like anybody except the man I submit to saying such derogatory things to me or name calling. Again i mean no disrespect" to which he rplied by telling me to go fuck myself.............so i called him an asshole and stopped talking to him. Looking back I do nto think I was wrong in taking offense....just because someone is dom does not mean they can run around calling anyone and everyone a cunt etc. etc...so I ask...do you think my reaction was wrong? I stand by what I said to him but I am curious if anyone agrees/disagree's. Thank you for taking the time to read this entire thing lol.


If he altered your emotional state, then he was in control in the relationship.

Which is not to say you should frolic together over flower covered fields while the music swells in the background, but I would suggest you not allow some mindless twit to alter your emotional state.

Sinergy



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (2/28/2007 9:13:41 PM)

You're entitled to feel whatever emotion you feel and you're entitled to stand up for yourself and your boundaries. Your response was valid, but perhaps not phrased in the best way. You stooped to his level, so to speak.

Master Fire



Termyn8or -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (3/1/2007 1:48:39 AM)

IMO, Dom or not, he wasn't YOUR Dom, and should be a gentleman until and unless he is.

Also I think someone who goes too far too fast like that might be dangerous.

T



NorthernGent -> RE: Was I wrong to take offence? (3/1/2007 2:13:58 AM)

There's a fair chance the bloke is getting his kicks by dragging you and others into petty arguments about nothing (except a chance to be rude).

Best to ignore him/them from the start.



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