I am a sub but I hate pain (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message


nu222 -> I am a sub but I hate pain (3/25/2005 4:18:05 AM)

I,a pretty girl ,somehow loves tight bondage sex.But I anmafraid of pain
you know.why so? I just cannot understand what mekes myself this way.




onceburned -> RE: I am a sub but I hate pain (3/25/2005 4:25:00 AM)

Because pain hurts?

I don't like pain either, although I will endure it for a good reason.




chainedgirl -> RE: I am a sub but I hate pain (3/25/2005 5:06:13 AM)

nu222,

whoever said a submissive has to like pain? it is perfectly ok to be submissive and not like pain at all. Many of the toys used to inflict pain can be quite nice as well, its all in how they are used. But there is still the option of submitting without any of the BDSM activities happening. In some relationships a hand or flogger is never raised, but they are still D/s relationships because the submissive gives over control to the Dominant. All it means is you simply find a Dominant who isn't seeking to do that stuff.

As for what makes you that way, who can tell. What makes me like pain while you do not? What makes me sometimes ask for a spanking and wanting to be thrashed even thought it hurts like hell? i dunno, but i don't care either. Pain is simply one need of many that i have, but you do not. Don't stress about it too much, simply accept that is how you are.

chainedgirl.




Oumae -> RE: I am a sub but I hate pain (3/25/2005 5:56:06 AM)

There is no law that says you have to like pain and as said you can have D/s without bdsm. The joy is that you can pick and choose what suits you as a couple (or more in poly reationships).

One thing I would say is you don't have to rule out all thought of it ever. Yes, its that Never say never thing!
Be honest with any potential partner about your dislike/fear of it but if you trust someone and have a good relationship its amazing what you can discover.
I don't like giving "pain"... I do really enjoy giving "sensation" tho' and it is wonderful to see someone discover the difference.

Oumae

Just to clarify I do believe in Hard limits.




EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: I am a sub but I hate pain (3/25/2005 6:06:36 AM)

Being a sub and being a masochist are two totally different things.

I hate pain, I simply do NOT have an endorphin response that a lot of other people do. I am a sadist however...

Some people simply don't do painplay if they can't get off on it. For me, it is a way to another form of submission to the Owner who is a sadist.

But lots of people in the scene don't like pain.




proudsub -> RE: I am a sub but I hate pain (3/25/2005 9:12:31 AM)

When my first dom, which was online, asked me if i liked pain i said no way, why would anyone like that. Then he asked me just to try one thing--clothes pins on my nips for a few seconds and gradually increasing the time. Well that changed my whole outlook on pain and i love it now. I can understand not liking it, but i am curious if you have tried any erotic pain.




Chupaflor -> RE: I am a sub but I hate pain (3/25/2005 9:21:28 AM)

I don't think not being into pain makes you any less of a sub, and like everything else in life, what works for one won't work for another. I myself like pain, yet cringe at the thought of fisting. Everone is different, and that's ok




EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: I am a sub but I hate pain (3/25/2005 9:54:52 AM)

Let's just say after over 6 years of active experience in the scene, owners who were each heavy sadists, being with countless tops or every style...I know my response is not due to lack of trying or not experiencing things the right way.




strongnsubmissiv -> RE: I am a sub but I hate pain (3/25/2005 12:07:50 PM)

I'm not much for pain either but i certainly respect it's place in the dynamic. It's not certainly something i need, but Her happiness is, so if that means some suffering, i'll endure it for the greater good.

Just because you hate to cook has nothing to do with enjoying good food. You're no less of a submissive for not liking pain.

sns




submissivesilk -> RE: I am a sub but I hate pain (3/26/2005 12:07:44 AM)


i dont like pain myself, but when Master is the one delivering it, it excites me beyond belief.




vaj85uk -> RE: I am a sub but I hate pain (3/26/2005 12:30:29 AM)

i am a sub that hates pain, but the humiliation of being in fear of doing what She wants or from Her chastisement for not taking Her punishment is far stronger.





Igotcuffs -> RE: I am a sub but I hate pain (3/27/2005 9:11:49 PM)

and just my random thoughts on here. If a sub hates pain this could be a very effective way of punishment. If you're spanking a subs ass for messing up that enjoys pain..well, you're not really punishing them are you? Just my thoughts though. I'm very new to all of this




LadyAngelika -> RE: I am a sub but I hate pain (3/27/2005 9:43:24 PM)

Most submissives that I know don't like pain.

Most masochists that I know like pain.

Some masochistst that I know also happen to be submissives.

Welcome to the complex realm of "the bottom".

- LA




Page: [1]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.015625