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financial slavery - 3/2/2007 10:19:16 AM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline 		in the next few weeks, i pass through the last barrier of my slavery [as far as pride is concerned]. In a few weeks the frost will be gone, and i, being a gardener will be back out in the field. This will be my first job since i moved in with my Master and upon my own suggestion partly out of guilt for feeling like a burden, and mostly out of humble desire to further the prosperity of our relationship i will give Him ALL, [100% less what He puts aside for me to save] my pay. There is no ceremony for the weekly offering but it will most likely be on the knees i hope for this to teach me more of the pure meaning of being the best slave possible.

*Anywho, the question for the Masters/Mistresses whom themselves own a financial slave, was it like this from the beginning, or did it evolve like in my relationship [1 yeaar collared in april]?

*What needs/emotions/desires are fufilled by having all the financial control?
*What type of things do You use her money for, a opposed to Your own?
*Do You have a savings account for you pet in case of worst case scenario [death, release]?
*How do You feel this will make a humble woman more slave like in the long run?

*If you dont have one, why? Do you find its the sub/slave who protests [it is a dangerous/scarey position to be in] or do you feel it violates her rights in some way [ha, if you even believe she has them lol]?

*Anything else on the matter?


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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"
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RE: financial slavery - 3/2/2007 10:38:59 AM   
LODK


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/27/2007
Status: offline 		You mentioned your "pride."  I'm interested in learning more about that.

_____________________________

~LODK~

(in reply to mixielicous)
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RE: financial slavery - 3/2/2007 10:55:58 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		I take a different attitude towards limits than most Dominants.  I don't care about them.

(I'll wait for the burning in effigy for a moment to smolder out.)

I focus on mutual interests.  I'm not hot for making my submissive or slave doing things she hates.  I focus a great deal more on the things she enjoys, and in finding activities and elements of the relationship that we can enjoy, together, I figure we'll have a better time of it.  By the same token, I make my own specific interests and tastes clear, and the majority of submissives will respond more enthusiastically to some of them (say, bondage) and perhaps less enthusiastically to others (say, genital piercing.)  Obviously, some girls aren't so hot for bondage, some are really into genital piercing; but the point is that in focusing on interests and activities that we both share and enjoy, our time spent interacting is more rewarding.  Focusing on 'breaking her limits' seems a bit like trying to make a small child learn to enjoy brussell sprouts: not the most enjoyable sort of relationship interaction for me.

Financial domination simply isn't a huge deal for me; I don't really care to have her paycheck in my pocket, so long as the bills we share together are paid.  If she has a desire to explore financial domination, I'm sure I could accomodate and enjoy it to some extent.  I feel the exact same way about anal sex, though.  I wouldn't feel I'm missing anything, if I never have it the rest of my life.  Yet with a partner who loves anal sex, I would enjoy doing it to her. 

Stephan

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

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RE: financial slavery - 3/2/2007 11:56:40 AM   
SirDraven


Posts: 37
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Atlanta GA
Status: offline 		A dear submissive friend of mine uses this formula....

1/3 of her pay will go to "House" Bills or her Master. 1/3 to her personal bills and 1/3 to her savings account in case of release etc.

Personaly I would not want My sub to make a big deal out of it. No need to present the check on knees. Just deposit it into the approprate accounts.


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Before One can Master others they must first Master themselves.


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RE: financial slavery - 3/2/2007 1:45:19 PM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LODK

You mentioned your "pride." I'm interested in learning more about that.



call me niave, i cant tell where youre trying to go with this

_____________________________


"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"


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RE: financial slavery - 3/2/2007 1:50:33 PM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

I take a different attitude towards limits than most Dominants. I don't care about them.

(I'll wait for the burning in effigy for a moment to smolder out.)

but the point is that in focusing on interests and activities that we both share and enjoy, our time spent interacting is more rewarding. Focusing on 'breaking her limits' seems a bit like trying to make a small child learn to enjoy brussell sprouts: not the most enjoyable sort of relationship interaction for me.

Financial domination simply isn't a huge deal for me; I don't really care to have her paycheck in my pocket, so long as the bills we share together are paid. If she has a desire to explore financial domination, I'm sure I could accomodate and enjoy it to some extent.

Stephan


i would not say that by being financially endowed to Him, i am breaking any last boundary. Its the vulnerability i am about to position myself in that i plan on utilizing to bring out the peak performance of my servitude [the last of pride being what hinders it]

Master would never push something like this on me, but He embraces it readily.

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"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"


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Profile   Post #: 6
RE: financial slavery - 3/2/2007 4:08:08 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		mixie,

That's a great thing for you then, and I wish you the best of luck with it.

I was stuck on a tangent, that apparently was unrelated to your issues.  As for your questions, when I'm living with a woman, I don't really see money in terms of 'hers' or 'mine' so much as I do 'ours.'  If I earn more than she does (as has been the case in 90% of my life) I am quite comfortable paying the bills, allowing her to contribute where and how she can, and whatever play money we have left in the end, goes to the things we want.  On the rare occasions when the girl earned more than I did, I would have felt uncomfortable demanding she hand over her earnings to me outside of a negotiated financial submission situation like you are describing.  For a few months, gretchen earned more than I did.  We'd sit down at the beginning of the month, and talk about the bills first, then what money she needed, what money I needed, and we saw what was left.  We'd stick some away for 'just in case' and the rest would go to things we agreed we needed or wanted together (a grill, new hard drives, etc.)  I wouldn't have felt comfortable taking her money and putting it towards something that was just for me.  It's worth mentioning, this was always in the context of a 24/7 live-in situation. 

I think everyone needs a little 'pocket money' regardless of who is earning the bills.  I also think people get way too hung up on money and materialism, and that tends to destroy the healthiest of relationships.

Stephan


_____________________________

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"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: financial slavery - 3/2/2007 7:41:09 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I don't have a financial slave/sub but I do have a sub who sends me part of his paycheck each week simply because the man does not know how to handle his own finances. Saving money is a foreign concept to him and one I am trying to teach him for his own good.

It's hard path we are going down because he was a Master in his previous relationship and he owned a slave, so he handled all the finances and was the only one working. They lived pretty much in poverty. Now that that is over and behind him, learning to handle money and have someone else tell him how to budget is tough for him to handle. But he is getting better at it as he knows its for his own good.

No I dont force my sub to do anything he feels strongly against. This was voluntary though it hasn't been smooth seas.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: financial slavery - 3/2/2007 9:30:52 PM   
Totalmaster4you


Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		mixie,
you have touched on a subject not usually discussed by people in vanilla relationships no less BDSM ones. It is the wise Dom(me) or sub/slave that reviews all aspects of the relationship. That you can please your Master by contributing to the households financial stability is the attitude I believe every sub/slave should have. In otherwords finding ways to please ones Dom(me) should be every sub/slaves goal. Finances can destabilize any relationship. I don't consider what you are doing as financial slavery. To me that term would narrow the scope what was required of the slave, aka finances/money. Sexual slavery would be sex not bondage or discipline etc. To me words are very powerful tools for expressing ourselves and frequently get misused and misapplied. I applaud you for reminding us all to provide for those who depend on tops and for for the way you have respected your Master. Heis indeed fortunate. One last thing that is pertinent. My slave and I have recently begun looking for a slave to poly our family. In contacting others I have offered to open an account in their name with an amount equal to whatever they spend if they were pay their way to join us so they have the "comfort and security" of knowing they have resources sshould things not work out. I will not send money to anyone but will go to where they are and bring them back. So far that last part has eliminated some scammers. Best wishes and luck with your plan.
Alan

_____________________________

Sometime ago I decided it was time to change my nic. However I didn't wish to disconnect from my original profile. Since then I've signed Touch your mind (TYM or Tym). Opinions in my posts should be taken as my opinion and my opinion only.

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: financial slavery - 3/3/2007 6:17:21 AM   
Skier


Posts: 52
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Mixie,

I sure hope He's as committed to the relationship as are you. Are you pursuing an education?  Continuing on a career path?  I'm not asking for an answer just posing questions. The fact that He's putting money aside for you  (how much?) speaks well of Him. I'm impressed with your dedication, I just don't want you to get hurt.

Today we're under a couple of inches of slushy snow.

Amherst friend

(in reply to Totalmaster4you)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: financial slavery - 3/3/2007 6:28:32 AM   
MistressDiane


Posts: 334
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

in the next few weeks, i pass through the last barrier of my slavery [as far as pride is concerned]. In a few weeks the frost will be gone, and i, being a gardener will be back out in the field. This will be my first job since i moved in with my Master and upon my own suggestion partly out of guilt for feeling like a burden, and mostly out of humble desire to further the prosperity of our relationship i will give Him ALL, [100% less what He puts aside for me to save] my pay. There is no ceremony for the weekly offering but it will most likely be on the knees i hope for this to teach me more of the pure meaning of being the best slave possible.

*Anywho, the question for the Masters/Mistresses whom themselves own a financial slave, was it like this from the beginning, or did it evolve like in my relationship [1 yeaar collared in april]?

*What needs/emotions/desires are fufilled by having all the financial control?
*What type of things do You use her money for, a opposed to Your own?
*Do You have a savings account for you pet in case of worst case scenario [death, release]?
*How do You feel this will make a humble woman more slave like in the long run?

*If you dont have one, why? Do you find its the sub/slave who protests [it is a dangerous/scarey position to be in] or do you feel it violates her rights in some way [ha, if you even believe she has them lol]?

*Anything else on the matter?



I don't really view this as "financial slavery" as much as just contributing to the home and financial well being of you both.

To clarify a bit...a financial slave's, imo, main focus of service is money.  Not much more is expected of them other than to provide it. Most often it's a case where the slave is not involved in the Other's life other than that. Usually it's a long distance or purely online relationship. Because of this, being a financial slave and used for their finances gives them a sense of serving when they can't in the real world because of....whatever reasons.

< Message edited by MistressDiane -- 3/3/2007 6:50:26 AM >

_____________________________

Ms. Diane
"..and they who danced were thought insane by those who refused to hear the music." ~Monet

*Suffer BayBeee!!!!!*

"My treasures do not sparkle or glitter, they shine in the sun and neigh in the night."

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: financial slavery - 3/3/2007 10:19:53 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		i would agree with MistressDiane, in that what you're describing here is a far cry from "financial slavery." rather i would just call it financial dependence maybe, or contributing to the household. many slaves and even some unowned submissives are financially dependent on their Dominants. either they earn no money of their own, or any money they earn is immediately turned over to the Dominant. this is not unusual.

my Master has always controlled the finances....sometimes i have worked outside the home, most times i have not...either way all money has always and will always be his money, not mine. i do receive a small allowance every couple of weeks that i may spend on small things like magazines, candy, fruit, etc. nothing i can run away with. :) my name is on one bank account, but i have no access to it on my own, i also do not have things like check/debit cards, a checkbook, etc...not to mention a car, ability to drive, or ability and permission to leave the house on my own. for us this is normal and natural, so i can't say that it took any "growth" or anything to get to this point. it's never really something either of us has considered to be a big deal...it's just one more mundane facet of life when you are talking about slavery.

...but from what i understand, in your situation, this was all your idea? so he never demanded or expressed a desire to hold all control over finances...yet you still feel as if this is something you must do? are you truly serving him in this case, or yourself and your own ideas of what a slave should be?

(in reply to MistressDiane)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: financial slavery - 3/3/2007 10:25:09 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		A saving or checking account in your name ONLY,I have seen a few slaves bounced to the curb without even cab fare.While its nice to help with the home expenses remember one day you may need some cash for a fresh start.be well.bounty

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US going to hell in a hand basket/

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: financial slavery - 3/3/2007 10:33:22 AM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra
I don't have a financial slave/sub but I do have a sub who sends me part of his paycheck each week simply because the man does not know how to handle his own finances. Saving money is a foreign concept to him and one I am trying to teach him for his own good.

~Lashra


I have to admit it is a foreign concept to me as well, he is lucky to have someone willing to teach him the ins and outs of financial responsibility!

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~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: financial slavery - 3/4/2007 9:28:06 PM   
azzmaster


Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		i have seen many doms and dommes exploit slaves financially which is a violation of the trust a slave puts in their master. some doms/dommes even try to make subs compete in giving tribute. that shit makes me sick. like mistress diane tho, i would agree that ur not in financial slavery but contributing to the support of the household, which is as it should b. i also agree with bounty very much that u need 2 have a savings in ur own name. it is just a respect to u and a safety net. some subs need financial guidance and help in budgeting, some don't. if its not broke don't fix it, i say

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: financial slavery - 3/5/2007 8:39:58 AM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline 		fast reply,

please ecxuse my weekend hiatus, i am generally not allowed online when He is home.

first, i would like to thank you all for your input, and clarification on my terminology.

there are a few answers to questions that come to mind: skier, yes my gardening in fact is a carreer. i will be working on very prominent residences & estates in the newton/wellsley/cambridge/back bay area and this is actually after a degree in horticulture, so dont you worry about me, i am in with the best right now

daddysprop, i can see how what i have suggested could be viewed as topping from the bottom or something along those lines, but Master and i agreed [at least] the first year was our *learning* stage and suggestions are welcome. Master keeps Himself void of any online reading on BDSM, S/m, s&m for many reasons, but the main being my Master works at least 10 hours a day and when He gets home He does not want to research how to further our dynamics, but relies on me to pass on what knowledges i have gained on my own initiate, about a book, the RL community or anything else i find worth His time this suggestion i also do not feel as TFTB b/c Master has a kind sweet soul, and being a new Master, He is still leaning how to push limits and which are and arent out of reach. some may view it i suppose as TFTB, others as a helpful slave girl lol



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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: financial slavery - 3/5/2007 5:08:27 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline 		Dear mixielicous,

I have mixed thoughts and concerns when it comes to this subject.  For I can only express what I would do if I were the Dom/Master in charge or control.

If one such as yourself, felt the desire to so offer your money, to me.  That you felt I had the best intrests of myself and you in my heart.  I would have to use said money for health insurance, if you had none, and other things.  Money towards upkeep of household and expenses.  A portion of the money going to fund in event of release or speration or ill fate on my part.  Perhaps part of the money going towards life insurance which you would benifit in my unfortunate death.   I would also, take portion of money, and insured your clothing and other personal needs were met.

Perhaps money to go into some form of higher yeild safe investments.  Perhaps a small portion into higher risk investment. 

I would give you an allowance to spend on things you desire as well.  So that you maintain knowledge of handling money, and keep this skill in the event I die.

In other words spend it wisely with both my own interests and yours at hand.

This is how I would handle this matter, if one such as yourself.. wanted to do this.. as an offer of your appreciation and concern.

Not all Dom/Masters will think in this manner, some could care less... Some do.  I can only speak for myself.  You know your masters heart better then us.   At best, we can only pick at your brain in an attempt to make a conclusion about the type of Master you have, and give advice based on our own conclusions.

Financial Control is not something to take lightly or with a grain of salt.







 

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: financial slavery - 3/5/2007 7:31:41 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous
Do you find it's the sub/slave who protests [it is a dangerous/scarey position to be in] or do you feel it violates her rights in some way [ha, if you even believe she has them lol]?


To me, the financial aspects of slavery aren't considered enough by those who claim desire to serve as slaves. Not surprisingly, many who style themselves thus drone on endlessly over their masturbatory aspirations for bondage, of their desire to be kept to serve and please in so many ways. Romantic prose of the "slave heart" is churned out regularly in such florid heaps, yet most of these deluded fantasists (who are often adverse to comprehending the actual meaning of "slave") quail at the notion of working without remuneration or reward that is theirs to keep—of everything they own and earn and can do becoming the property of their Keepers. But that is in fact what slavery entails.

I find it commendable and rare that you are devoting yourself in such a way. If all that you are is truly his, if the only property you concede to yourself is a future of serving for the pleasure and benefit of your Master, you are a very rare creature, indeed.

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: financial slavery - 3/5/2007 8:29:12 PM   
servicewithsmile


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/6/2007
Status: offline 		Dear Mixie,
You sound like you are living the real deal.  I'm glad to see you arrived at this point at a measured pace.  Sometimes the breathlessness of youth gets the cart before the horse.  Go you!
I really like your idea of a little ceremony when handing over the cash.  That is very powerful act in our capitalist society.  I think it is great that you want to reverence it as such, especially if you do it with paper bills.  You hand away your own security, he provides it in return.
I always wondered if I allowed myself the depths of such humility, what would happen if I were to get some kind of treatable cancer or some such?  Would the Master care for me?  I digress.  Clearly you have a kind wonderful Master.  Emphatic congratulations on jumping your last major ego obstacle.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: financial slavery - 3/5/2007 8:50:23 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

i would agree with MistressDiane, in that what you're describing here is a far cry from "financial slavery." rather i would just call it financial dependence maybe, or contributing to the household. many slaves and even some unowned submissives are financially dependent on their Dominants. either they earn no money of their own, or any money they earn is immediately turned over to the Dominant. this is not unusual.


I tend to agree with this and I don't want to take anything away from Mixie here.  Going out and earning an income for the household is something that most couples who live together do.  When you remove the bdsm cloak from the animal, you have a very similar or exact situation that any married couple has.  Most often both work and one or the other handles the finances.  Often they confer with each other ( to seek "permission") or discuss the budget before making purchases and each keeps an appropriate amount of pocket cash for the needs that they have discussed and agreed upon. etc.  Further, I know of  D types and Masters out there who actually give the responsibility over to the 'slave-like' person simply because he or she may have better bookeeping skills. 
Im not seeing how this makes someone a "financial slave".  



_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to daddysprop247)
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