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Average BDSM scene length? - 3/2/2007 12:21:32 PM

LadySashayy

Posts: 26
Joined: 12/18/2006
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I'm getting into the more sadistic and bondage aspects of BDSM and am finding myself wondering about things like timing, combination of activities, etc. Particularly curious how long a male should stay bound or how long a sub should be allowed to be in deep subspace

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Post #: 1

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/2/2007 12:46:22 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySashayy

I'm getting into the more sadistic and bondage aspects of BDSM and am finding myself wondering about things like timing, combination of activities, etc. Particularly curious how long a male should stay bound or how long a sub should be allowed to be in deep subspace

In terms of timing, you'll develop it the more you do it and it changes for each person.

For time in any particular situation again it's primarily about the individual and their body size/shape/make-up plus the type of bondage. Keep your hands and eyes and ears open to any signs of distress or lossing feelings.

As for subspace, personally I don't think that's a very good word for what happens to the bottom in bondage or SM. but again only by trial and error will you know what works for you and for your partner.

Me, I bore quickly so we either move on or the bottom has to work at being interesting to me.

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(in reply to LadySashayy)

Post #: 2

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/2/2007 1:07:53 PM

GentlehandSTL

Posts: 44
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

Last weekend we (me: Dom and two sub ladies) went for close to fours hours.

Well…yeah sure…we did.

But with breaks for food and drink (lots of water!)

“Sessions” within “scenes” I try and hold to 15-30 minutes depending on several things like the degree of difficulty for both the sub and me. (them standing is harder than bound and on the floor). While I might leave someone laying down yet bound for 45 minutes I wouldn’t leave rope on breasts that long (cutting off circulation).

As to “sub-space” I watch for the time either right before or right (and I mean right) after they become ‘non-responsive’ as in ‘you can quit, they can’t feel it.’ at that point EVERYTHING stops and I get them ‘down and out’ of wherever I have put them into, and get them laying down with a blanket. This very thing happened with my prime sub last weekend while the two of use worked her over…she just had too much and mentally ‘quit’

On the other hand I stopped twice with the other girl, once when she started to hyperventilate, and once while she was standing while being flogged, and her legs gave out.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 3

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/2/2007 7:39:20 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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For me, scenes tend to last several hours. My longest lasted seven hours. I tend to switch activities in scene two to five times. You can not do high intensity scenes for hours. They wear out both you and the sub. If you switch from high intensity such as a caning to something lower intensity such as clothespin play it gives everyone a chance to catch their physical and mental breath. Keep in mind that the longer and more intense you scene, the more likely you are to have a sub drop on you in the next day or two.

Also for a longer/multi activity scene, having a general idea of what you plan to do is good. Set up your play area first. I've seen some Dominants (and even been one a time or two) who didn't get the toy out beforehand, only to find out that X has been left home. It really puts a crimp in the flow of the scene. I always have several other things in mind I could do, so it doesn't impact me overly much, but I've seen it bring other scenes to a halt.

As to how long a sub can stay bound, it depends upon what type of binding and how you apply it. You have to check extremities, even if you did an awesome job of tying. Subs move around and the rope that was perfect and safe 5 mins ago can now be restricting circulation. Read up at places like http://www.ropeforpleasure.com/Safety1.html or better yet find a local bondage safety class or local mentor.

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*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
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(in reply to LadySashayy)

Post #: 4

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/2/2007 8:07:43 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear LadySashayy, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my mind's eyes I see, the scene length and time/duration of activities are determined by the slave/submissive's body, mind and or emotions.

Each person will experience a scene differently. Even if you do the same thing like a pre-written script/menu--I can assure you that the person will not react exactly the same. Every sub-space/flying have been different--that is why each must be savored.

The longest scenes I've done was 18 hours, with breaks, rest, snacks and meals. Yet, living the lifestyle -- in house, it is a bit similiar to a scene that runs its course day by day, hour by hour and minute by minute.

Scenes are like a dance. Its as only good as the dance partner.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to LadySashayy)

Post #: 5

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/2/2007 9:50:55 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Thank you so much Beach, for the informative post.
**thank you for the rope for pleasure link** I am saving it.
I am still fairly new to this lifestyle and have a lot to learn.
I appreciate you taking the time out to share and educate those
of us just starting out.
Thank you.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 3/2/2007 10:03:32 PM >

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Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 6

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/2/2007 9:52:20 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear LadySashayy, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my mind's eyes I see, the scene length and time/duration of activities are determined by the slave/submissive's body, mind and or emotions.

Each person will experience a scene differently. Even if you do the same thing like a pre-written script/menu--I can assure you that the person will not react exactly the same. Every sub-space/flying have been different--that is why each must be savored.

The longest scenes I've done was 18 hours, with breaks, rest, snacks and meals. Yet, living the lifestyle -- in house, it is a bit similiar to a scene that runs its course day by day, hour by hour and minute by minute.

Scenes are like a dance. Its as only good as the dance partner.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

Thank you for your wonderful advice as usual Lady Hugs.
You are such a wonderful lifestyle roll model and asset to the community.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 3/2/2007 10:03:58 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 7

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/2/2007 9:57:03 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Welcome Lady Sashayy, I am glad you asked this question.
I am fairly new to this lifestyle also, there are many here that
have a wealth of information to share.
I love to see such a wonderful question asked and information and advice shared.
I hope to see more of that here.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LadySashayy)

Post #: 8

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/3/2007 6:14:27 AM

sjskuared

Posts: 51
Joined: 1/6/2005
Status: offline

A "scene" can last a very long time depending on what you mean. If you have a submissive serving you all day in different ways, at home he could be doing chores such as laundry, cleaning the bathroom or kitchen or other things naked or in bondage, later you might want to go out and have him wear something under his clothes, when you get home another "scene" and so on. BDSM can sexualize all sorts of activities so the time does not have to be limited.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 9

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/3/2007 7:26:23 AM

perritochuchi

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/3/2007
Status: offline

hola
hola

(in reply to sjskuared)

Post #: 10

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/3/2007 1:18:57 PM

LadySashayy

Posts: 26
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

As for subspace, personally I don't think that's a very good word for what happens to the bottom in bondage or SM. but again only by trial and error will you know what works for you and for your partner.

Curious what you mean by this, because I've certainly seen my boy sink into subspace rather deeply...? Care to elaborate please? Would certainly like to hear your thoughts/opinion.

_____________________________

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It is not enough to know how to conquer; One must also how how to seduce." --Voltaire

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 11

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/3/2007 1:24:17 PM

LadySashayy

Posts: 26
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

For me, scenes tend to last several hours. My longest lasted seven hours. I tend to switch activities in scene two to five times. You can not do high intensity scenes for hours. They wear out both you and the sub. If you switch from high intensity such as a caning to something lower intensity such as clothespin play it gives everyone a chance to catch their physical and mental breath. Keep in mind that the longer and more intense you scene, the more likely you are to have a sub drop on you in the next day or two.

I do understand what you're getting at. And coupled with what TammyJo has suggested, I'm getting the sense that I'm erring with him by letting him sink into subspace so deeply when we scene. He loves it, and being there is part of the huge draw for D/s for him, but based on what you're saying here, I'm wondering if I should be ordering hiim to stay up and more conscious and aware in order for us both to be able to prolong play?

_____________________________

~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=~=
It is not enough to know how to conquer; One must also how how to seduce." --Voltaire

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 12

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/4/2007 3:43:15 AM

mdmnatalia

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

If you are looking to get into more intense play, communication is especially important. Be aware of what you're both bringing into the play... What physical/emotional things are going on? All that can change the scene... All in all I think it's best to start out at a lower intensity with that sub and build on it so you have a better sense of how it will develop.

Also, be aware of their responses... physical, emotional, psychological, etc. You may find that you have to change activities or take a break... When it comes to bondage... I tend to use cuffs and have them lying down so I have an easier time keeping an eye on it. Although I tend to play for hours I switch activities often, so I don't have them in one position long enough to have to worry about lose of circulation, etc. But if you do have them in the same position for a long period of time just be aware of their responses. You may find the more intense it gets the less they respond and they are harder to read. Don't be afraid to ask if they're ok in that position or if they still have feeling in their fingers or toes... It's better to take that moment to ask them if they're ok then to find out later on that they now have nerve damage.

As I always say... don't break your toys. Have fun but be safe.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 13

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/4/2007 3:59:34 AM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

Minimum 5 hours...

Anything less is hardly worth the time.

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Post #: 14

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/5/2007 6:41:53 PM

mp072004

Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

As written above, the duration a person can remain bound is variable. A person who is in good physical condition can generally maintain positions longer. Some positions are more difficult than others--a suspended hogtie differs dramatically from lying supine on a padded surface with hands at sides.

I've done a sensation-play scene in which the bottom was bound on his back on a massage table and stimulated for a bit more than three hours. I can think of several pain scenes lasting about two to three hours in which the bottoms remained bound, but changed positions a couple times. I've also spent afternoons, and evenings, playing around with people, and that involved a lot of tying up and hurting, so I guess it counts as a scene, and those instances lasted anywhere from four to eight hours--though with small, perhaps ten minute breaks.

As for deep subspace, it depends on what "deep subspace" is. I don't see any reason why it would be unhealthy to feel obedient and subservient for days on end. It would be awfully difficult to be stoned on brain chemicals for days on end, since they seem to be released in waves.

Monica

(in reply to LadySashayy)

Post #: 15

RE: Average BDSM scene length? - 3/6/2007 5:31:35 AM

sadomasokisti

Posts: 221
Joined: 10/20/2005
From: Iceland
Status: offline

Our games are usually around 5 hours of heavy bondage and S&M. Either very its very short <1 hour without bondage or 5 hours or more with bondage. The longest - strict bondage that Goddess has put me into is 7-8 hrs mummification.

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