Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (Full Version)

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BeachMystress -> Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (3/26/2005 10:55:10 AM)


What do for your submissive when you've had an intense session and expect them to experience subdrop, yet aren't going to be physically with them when it occurs?

Yesterday was an emotional day for both of us. I had a personal tragedy. My sub had one of THOSE days at work. We got together in the evening and had a very romantic dinner followed by some scening that was both physically and emotionally intense. To top it off, he didn't get enough sleep the night before or last night. It will be a miracle if he doesn't drop this evening.

What I did to help him deal with it was cleaned his room this morning (we had toys strewn from one end to the other) washed the dishes, made sure the rest of the house was in order and preloaded his fantasy sports page onto the computer for when he gets home. I told him I'd be looking forward to his call tonight and that he could call as soon as he got home from work if he needed to instead of waiting till later in the evening. When he calls I'll first talk to him about how he is feeling, will make sure he feels loved and valued, then get him talking about "normal" topics to help him get his feet back under him. It will take about a two hours of phone time for him to feel good again. We've dealt with the remote drop issue in the past and are familliar with how to counter it.

I'm curious about how others deal with this type of situation.



MistressFire70 -> RE: Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (3/26/2005 11:40:52 AM)

It sounds like you're doing all that you can from you end. You're loving and supportive, which can go a long way. What he needs to do, however, is to learn to do some self care. he needs to find things that make him feel good (without being truly intense, or he'll just og high again). Being good to ourselves and not feeling guilty about it can be a challenge to a lot of us, so you might run into that problem with him. In the end, you can only do what you can and he has to help too.

Fire



MadameBette -> RE: Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (3/26/2005 11:47:35 AM)

We recently had a discussion about this in my group.
Many of us felt a post-play phone call is essential, but more so if the session was particularly intense, or there wasn’t adequate time for aftercare.
We also found Dom/mes needed it, too.
It sounds like you are doing everything you can.
He is lucky to have you.

~ Bette



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (3/26/2005 12:49:10 PM)

Phone call is a definite must. This might sound really corny- but let them have a tshirt or piece of clothing with your scent on it to curl up with. Just keep in touch with them throughout the day and reaffirming that you care and that they are strong enough. Tell them to go do something nice for themselves.

Overtime hopefully they can learn to regulate their own drop, but everyone will still have "one of those days." Luckily, there's a new day tomorrow.



Chilli -> RE: Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (3/26/2005 4:19:17 PM)

Thats not a corny suggestion Emerald, its really nice.

I wish I had had that when I had a long distance thing going.



nella -> RE: Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (3/26/2005 5:16:41 PM)

What is subdrop?



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (3/26/2005 5:30:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

Yesterday was an emotional day for both of us. I had a personal tragedy. My sub had one of THOSE days at work. We got together in the evening and had a very romantic dinner followed by some scening that was both physically and emotionally intense.

It will take about a two hours of phone time for him to feel good again. We've dealt with the remote drop issue in the past and are familliar with how to counter it.

I'm curious about how others deal with this type of situation.

I have no ideas to help you, it sounds to me you're doing great things to care for him and support him.......
I just wanted to say topics/threads like this one are the reason I love collarme, because I learn sooo much.

I'm sorry about your tragedy, and hope you feel supported as well. M



proudsub -> RE: Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (3/26/2005 7:07:58 PM)

When i read the title of this thread i was hoping it had something to do with how to get a Dom to drop the remote control. Hubby won't even let go of it when He falls asleep in His chair.[:o]



BeachMystress -> RE: Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (3/26/2005 7:50:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: nella

What is subdrop?


Subdrop is the result of endorphins leaving the body after a session. Here are some links

http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/docs/aftercare.htm
http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/jerseyaftercare.htm
http://www.domsview.com/issue20/feature20a.htm
http://www.thedsgarden.com/subdrop.html



BeachMystress -> RE: Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (3/26/2005 7:56:48 PM)


LMAO.. hmm, lets see proud.. you could try hooking it up to give him minute electric shocks.. (non painful of course since you'd neeevvver resort to violence to get the remote.) Or you could make it into a vampire remote with little spines all over it so he WANTS to put it down. Or you could just buy a second remote (one of those universal ones) and use it after he falls asleep. :-) This might result in remote wars.. so don't buy lightly. LOL



GentleLady -> RE: Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (3/27/2005 1:02:12 AM)

I have only been in that position a couple of times and there is not much I could possible add to what You are already doing BeachMystress. The only additional thing I have done is that I send short e-mail messages to him during the day to remind him that he is loved. That way I am not interrupting his work but still making sure that he feels secure. I noticed with My submissive that the drop often starts right after lunch when his energy starts to lag and I usually have to remind him to eat a lighter lunch that day then normal.

Gentle Lady



nella -> RE: Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (3/27/2005 4:16:45 AM)

Thank you for the information and the links Beach Mystress. i am sorry to hear of you personal tradgedy and wish you the best.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (3/27/2005 8:49:04 AM)

Just a reminder that sub spaces and drops are not necessarily endorphin based. Seratonin, adrenaline, many other body chemicals can be related to the highs as well. Also, sometimes it is a purely emotional response without any physical correlation.

SOmetimes how you treat the space depends on the type of space it is...but in time we can all get to know what to expect and prepare better for it.



proudsub -> RE: Curiosity about dealing with remote drop. (3/27/2005 10:57:46 AM)

Thanks for the ideas Beach, but any of those would just piss Him off. Daughter tried hiding it once and it wasn't pretty.[:o]



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