RE: Cumming on command techniques

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Elorin -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/4/2007 8:34:50 AM)
I think that cumming on command is something both parties want, but once the behavioral conditioning is in place, the person who did the training is certainly in control. And as for a wet vagina, the implication was not intended to be "if her vagina is wet, she came." The assumption I made is that you a) know your partner well and b) know how wet she is when aroused and how much wetter after orgasm. Otherwise, all you have is a damp (though possibly tasty) finger. However intensity of vaginal contractions is almost definitely an indicator, especially when combined with watching someone's face, listening to their breathing, and monitoring vaginal moisture/increase. Could women fool men into "thinking" that the woman is orgasming on command when they aren't? Probably, possibly. Is the exercise more mental than physical? Well yes, of course it is. The physical training helps set up the mindset, so that later the mindset can trigger the physical response. Men are ~able~ to orgasm without any penile contact. However, first they have to learn to orgasm the way women do - more in the mind than in the body. Once a man has learned to allow the sensations to flood his mind and body both, he can become both multi-orgasmic and can learn to cum on command as women do. But first you have to separate the concept of ejaculation from orgasm. I recommend reading The Multi-Orgasmic Man for more information on this subject, as well as The One Hour Orgasm, which teaches anchoring among other things. The techniques in both books are useful for teaching cum-on-command, both to females and males.

LotusSong -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/4/2007 9:28:59 AM)
Thank you :) While I have had the occasion where a male would orgasm unexpectedly in my presence with no stimulation of any kind. I was just talking to him. But am I AWESOME?? Nope. Just in the presence of a horny dude.) (I have killer eyes -so I'm told- and I use that feature to my advantage :) I'm going to say that Stephen's reply was the most enlightening.. Stephan.. where did you learn your technique? (I must admit, it gave me a twitch :)

Stephann -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/4/2007 7:16:16 PM)
Lotus, others, Thanks. Well, I can't say I learned it anywhere specific. I did have a real life relationship turn long distance for over a year (long story) and monogamy was extremely important to her. Phone sex was how I became a lot more familiar about how vocal cues and desire play a role in orgasm. Once we understand that masturbation isn't simply a dirty teenager's word, and really represents how we achieve orgasm through our own mental desire, it becomes a tool for any dominant to use in teaching, conditioning, and controlling orgasms. On a similar topic, I'll support Elorin's comments about men and multiple orgasms. I prefer to enjoy two or three orgasms per love making session (though I usually need a moment or two between them.) I believe anyone (male or female) can be taught to orgasm on command if they are receptive to it. I think the point regarding the source of these orgasms and the difference between normal masturbation and orgasm on command has already been adequately addressed. Stephan

shadevarr -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/6/2007 8:40:04 PM)
I have only had one incident when I made someone come without touching them. My last sub was watching porn but hadn't began to touch herself, I walked into the room and looked her right in the eyes (that always made her wet instantly) snapped my fingers and just said "cum" and she did. We were both shocked afterwards and were unable to replicate it. It is nice to have a how-to now :D

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/6/2007 8:51:01 PM)
Although I have read about "orgasm control, or cumming on command"I remain somewhat cynical as to its verasity...however..interesting technique nonetheless...Tempting

AquaticSub -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/6/2007 8:55:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LotusSong Gentlemen- What is your technique you use to attain this situation? (and no.. I manage my own orgasms quite nicely thankyouverymuch :) Valyraen says, as he is busy gaming at the moment: I wish I could explain it. I just tell her to cum. And she does.

Stephann -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/13/2007 12:42:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub Although I have read about "orgasm control, or cumming on command"I remain somewhat cynical as to its verasity...however..interesting technique nonetheless...Tempting My apologies, I've been tending some issues r/l so haven't had much time for the boards. Briefly, I know what it is to be cynical. Most men would have the same opinion about men having multiple orgasms. Trust me, it's not a myth. Physiological responses all start in the brain. We orgasm because of a mental stimulus; not a physical one. Anyone who's been caught masturbating by their grandmother might be able to vouch for that one (laughs.) I will say, and it'll sound a bit like Peter Pan fairy dust; if you don't really believe it can be done, it can't be done. The situation I've described requires not just a desire to do so, but a committed belief that it is possible. The occasions I've done this, I don't speak as if she is trying to please me; I speak as if she is actually pleasing me. I don't say "go ahead, you can do it, just try" I say "You WILL do it, you WILL do it for ME, and you WILL do it RIGHT NOW!" The girls' minds, faced with such overwhelming stimulation and presented with no other options, seemed quick to agree. Hope that gives some insight, Stephan

mnottertail -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/13/2007 1:19:14 PM)
that she's coming close to the brink. At that point I might grab her by the hair, and tell her to beg to come. When she does, I hold back a bit, making her beg more, telling her to squeeze her nipples harder. I also tell her (and this is important) to squeeze her Kegel muscles and picture me being inside of her in her mind as she does it. As this part of the fantasy grows in her head, that's when I demand she orgasm, again still squeezing her nipples to provide some sensation. This orgasm might be easier or harder to achieve, so your mileage may vary. Once it has, it shows the girl she has the ability to orgasm without her clitoris or vagina being involved That was a random and ill cut snip from Stephans Post---all dynamite technique========================================= All you wanna be squirters pay attention. Tighten and loosen muscles repetitively thruought.......till they fatigue a little------- then at the moment of truth tighten your kegel but push like you are trying to pee across the room............. get a mop. Ron

Stephann -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/13/2007 2:01:49 PM)
Ron's quite right. I read somewhere, and I guarantee it's true; when a woman is sexually aroused, she is incapable of urinating. Thus, when a woman feels the urge to 'pee' during these sorts of activities, it's actually being on the brink of a female ejaculation. The way I've taught this, is to insert two fingers (curled upward slightly, to about the second knuckle) while she uses her own fingers on her clitoris. I massage her G-spot (you'll feel it start to contract into a ball of muscle) while she's masturbating, the whole time speaking softly and gently about how she's doing well, how pleased I am, and reminding her that I want her to be relaxed. As her orgasm is imminent, I tell her to wait to orgasm until I tell her to, and that when she does, she is to try and let herself 'go'; that she's supposed to let it flow out. Once I feel the small ball start to expand, I push on it gently, and tell her to release, and to pee - reminding her quickly and directly, that it won't be urine, that she's going to have one of the most powerful orgasms of her life. Have a towel handy, indeed. Expect 200 ml or more to gush on your hand, bed, and floor. The first time is usually a little tricky, because it's a new sensation, and feels very similar to urinating; but you can smell and taste that it's not. Once she does it the first time, subsequent times become very easy. NOTE! Once she has orgasmed this way, do NOT continue to push or manipulate her; she will be EXTREMELY sensitive. Stephan

Milivoje -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/13/2007 2:10:53 PM)
I start off with teaching my slave to reach orgasm during penetrative sex (if dor any reason she has problems with that). Then I gradually continue the training in the following manner: During penetrative sex I order my slave to reach orgasm, gradually I start exiting when I order... and all of a sudden it comes to a point when I am outside and the order comes. It generally works within a week max. After that, I start conditional training. I choose a word and use it to condition her to orgasm when she hears that word.

NightWindWhisper -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/13/2007 4:21:41 PM)
To ascertain orgasm I consider the development of a rash (there are some characteristic ones, but they do not occur with all women; significant reddening of certain parts (though as only a part of the picture) of the anatomy (such as the ears), involuntary movements (sometimes of distal parts, such as toes curling); markedly elevated pulse, elevated blood pressure (you'd have to have felt a lot of pulses to do that one); elevated respiratory rate, changes in sound pitch, bodily movement (possibly easily faked, again just a part of the picture) and then there is the gold standard but before I go there I'd say that orgasm on command is actually fairly easy with most subsmissives under the right circumstances. I would warn very, very strongly against ordering to "stop orgasm" commands, for the most succeptable submissives can get stuck there. Yes one can play with "don't you dare cum yet....wait till I tell you..." and can even elongate orgasm to over half an hour by hanging literally part-way into an orgasm, but an abrupt "stop" I have found can be deadly. I once had a partner who was unable to orgasm for weeks after I did this...outchie! Play with this but be careful, for a submissive wants to please and the command may get set quite deeply. On command orgasms, as has been presented are a Pavlonian response, where an association is made and a response occurs. Hi stimulii such as spanking can help... "come within two minutes or we'll stop and "encourage" you, done over and over (within reason) can be a powerful initiator. A strong bond/emotional connection is very helpful (for me essential). When the erotic connetion is strong; when there is deep affection; when the submissive thrives upon pleasing; when the dominant has a sensual voice (or growl) and is accepted as a dominant force, the ability can often be learned fairly quickly by most submissives. Even better once she orgasms he can often induce another quite quickly in the same manner. I disagree that there must be a catch phrase for sometime it's simply "in the voice," though many do utilize a catch phrase. Though for some a "hypnotic state" may result and may be useful, this clearly can be done with full connection, full eye communication, with the dominant demanding that she remain there, eyes connected (to the last seconds), with full awareness. I believe this is the only way for a couple to orgasm -- together and connected. I will say as she starts to orgasm "don't you dare leave...stay here...be here..." (I have been told I have an effective growl, but possibly because she knows what will happen if she refuses to obey). Once this level has been established it is not unusual to find that the dominant has the ability to cause a verbal orgasmic response in his submissive (I have never heard this occurring for malesubs) also has the ability to cause an orgasm by voice alone, without any touch at all, neither him touching her nor her touching herself. Interestingly when this does occur there is a possibility that the orgasm becomes self-sustaining (this does happen to males also with stimulation) and can actually end up causing panic in the submissive as they all of a sudden sense they are out of control, especially submissives with anxiety/panic issues. The gold standard is to simply insert the penis into her vagina (doggie style works best) and then with or without stimulation, but with verbal encouragement and commands, elicit an orgasm. The penis and vagina are designed to communicate. The interior tissues of the vagina can swell remarkably (by over one half inch in thickness) near orgasm and the penis sensing the swelling "crowns." This means that the glans penis (the helmet head) can swell by 20-40%. This in turn is sensed by the vagina, and the racheting initates orgasm in the male, which often then precipitates orgasm in the female, or visa versa. During the golden standard, the dom orders the female to not move...not one bit, but allows her to move internally she cannot stop even if she trys). With cum on command submissives the sensation is remarkable. Often there is a "I can't." But then a transition occurs and the vagina starts to spasm rythmically it clearly becomes non-volitional process,(or so it seems to me) often there occurs a sort of vibration, where the whole lower abdomen of the submissive shakes and quivers as though she has a bad case of shivers and the rhythmic contractions become stronger and literally "milk" the males penis. I have two film clips that I wish I could share that shows this.

mnottertail -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/13/2007 4:25:05 PM)
You are a gentleman tho, Voltare--- I say shit to calm her like, I don't give a fuck if you piss and shit all over bitch, I want this done or it is gonna be more than your ass--------- but yeah..........if it can be thunk, it can be dun. GeicoMan (lol, who woulda thought I would be in the movies huh?) added: and while we are on that subject the purpose of a prostate is a what? Three way valve---- we can't piss when we come, that is why it is difficult to come when you piss or piss when you come for a man, the gatekeeper is the prostate... But women are set up with a system that is the same in many respect as ours our ovaries=your nuts (thats a joke class you can laugh) your fallopian tubes = our vas deferens and so on, and while your mechanism relys more on the strenght of your vaginal muscle, as opposed to another little walnut size chunk------your fuckhole is not your pisshole--- get a mirror, have a look and get over it thats why when you try to please us when you aint got nothing to do, its like---------awwwwwwwwwwww, shucks, it slipped out but when you gotta piss, you push it out and say, oh, darling, can I come right back? and it is also the reason you guys can fuck around in a bathroom two by two waiting for an hour before you tinkle and men start fighting. Laught all you want-------- YOU CAN DO IT--- POPPIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BRNaughtyAngel -> Squirting.... was RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/13/2007 5:34:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann Ron's quite right. I read somewhere, and I guarantee it's true; when a woman is sexually aroused, she is incapable of urinating. Thus, when a woman feels the urge to 'pee' during these sorts of activities, it's actually being on the brink of a female ejaculation. The way I've taught this, is to insert two fingers (curled upward slightly, to about the second knuckle) while she uses her own fingers on her clitoris. I massage her G-spot (you'll feel it start to contract into a ball of muscle) while she's masturbating, the whole time speaking softly and gently about how she's doing well, how pleased I am, and reminding her that I want her to be relaxed. As her orgasm is imminent, I tell her to wait to orgasm until I tell her to, and that when she does, she is to try and let herself 'go'; that she's supposed to let it flow out. Once I feel the small ball start to expand, I push on it gently, and tell her to release, and to pee - reminding her quickly and directly, that it won't be urine, that she's going to have one of the most powerful orgasms of her life. Have a towel handy, indeed. Expect 200 ml or more to gush on your hand, bed, and floor. The first time is usually a little tricky, because it's a new sensation, and feels very similar to urinating; but you can smell and taste that it's not. Once she does it the first time, subsequent times become very easy. NOTE! Once she has orgasmed this way, do NOT continue to push or manipulate her; she will be EXTREMELY sensitive. Stephan I can't tell you how many years I held back during sex because I was terrified I was going to pee. I had never heard of female ejaculation until a couple of years ago. I know a lot of women who have never heard of it, or who are actually afraid of it because they fear their partners thinking they've peed on them. I bought the book, Female Ejaculation and the G Spot by Deborah Sundahl..... she does a really excellent job on the subject and gives techniques to do alone to learn your own body and to learn how to squirt/gush/ejaculate whatever you want to call it... and techniques to do with your partner. I highly recommend the book to those who are interested. The first time I tried it, I was sitting in my computer chair and did exactly as she instructed. I can't remember exactly how long it took.... maybe 10 minutes or so? When the urge to pee came over me, I did as she said and pushed. OMIGOD....... let's just say I sprayed the wall, soaked the chair and left a puddle of at least a cup on the floor. It was not urine and had a slightly sweet/cloverlike smell.... and yes, I tasted it and it tasted somewhat sweet. One note.... you can squirt without an orgasm and she covers this in the book. The amount can vary greatly from a trickle all the way to needing towels. I have only squirted once during penetrative sex and it wasn't a whole lot, but still felt great. It's something I'm hoping will happen more. [:)]

Griswold -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/13/2007 5:44:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elorin Men are ~able~ to orgasm without any penile contact. That is such horrendous, incredible, unbelievable horseshit. So many women think, and so many men allow it (because we don't post 37 times a day) that men will follow whatever female lead is lead. A few tits, a couple pussy shots (real, imagined, or posted).... Yada yada yada. I won't post some innumerable crap to follow on with this horseshit. (It's horseshit). You want someone that'll follow your lead....grab his nuts. All the others....grab his mind.

hisannabelle -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/13/2007 5:47:34 PM)
notice, she said "able to," meaning, with training in certain techniques, just like women. not that men go around regularly orgasming without penile contact. it's not horseshit if you can find a few men who've ever orgasmed without penile contact, and i'm sure they exist.

mnottertail -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/13/2007 5:57:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Griswold quote: ORIGINAL: Elorin Men are ~able~ to orgasm without any penile contact. That is such horrendous, incredible, unbelievable horseshit. So many women think, and so many men allow it (because we don't post 37 times a day) that men will follow whatever female lead is lead. A few tits, a couple pussy shots (real, imagined, or posted).... Yada yada yada. I won't post some innumerable crap to follow on with this horseshit. (It's horseshit). You want someone that'll follow your lead....grab his nuts. All the others....grab his mind. no, I am gonna have to disagree, Mr. Frying Pan------------when I get my dick sucked, almost no human contact-------if she is good, I come.....so I do not buy your definition, Mr--Mr Gawd, I am so wanting to--------

hisannabelle -> RE: Squirting.... was RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/13/2007 6:00:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann Ron's quite right. I read somewhere, and I guarantee it's true; when a woman is sexually aroused, she is incapable of urinating. Thus, when a woman feels the urge to 'pee' during these sorts of activities, it's actually being on the brink of a female ejaculation. The way I've taught this, is to insert two fingers (curled upward slightly, to about the second knuckle) while she uses her own fingers on her clitoris. I massage her G-spot (you'll feel it start to contract into a ball of muscle) while she's masturbating, the whole time speaking softly and gently about how she's doing well, how pleased I am, and reminding her that I want her to be relaxed. As her orgasm is imminent, I tell her to wait to orgasm until I tell her to, and that when she does, she is to try and let herself 'go'; that she's supposed to let it flow out. Once I feel the small ball start to expand, I push on it gently, and tell her to release, and to pee - reminding her quickly and directly, that it won't be urine, that she's going to have one of the most powerful orgasms of her life. Have a towel handy, indeed. Expect 200 ml or more to gush on your hand, bed, and floor. The first time is usually a little tricky, because it's a new sensation, and feels very similar to urinating; but you can smell and taste that it's not. Once she does it the first time, subsequent times become very easy. NOTE! Once she has orgasmed this way, do NOT continue to push or manipulate her; she will be EXTREMELY sensitive. Stephan I can't tell you how many years I held back during sex because I was terrified I was going to pee. I had never heard of female ejaculation until a couple of years ago. I know a lot of women who have never heard of it, or who are actually afraid of it because they fear their partners thinking they've peed on them. I bought the book, Female Ejaculation and the G Spot by Deborah Sundahl..... she does a really excellent job on the subject and gives techniques to do alone to learn your own body and to learn how to squirt/gush/ejaculate whatever you want to call it... and techniques to do with your partner. I highly recommend the book to those who are interested. The first time I tried it, I was sitting in my computer chair and did exactly as she instructed. I can't remember exactly how long it took.... maybe 10 minutes or so? When the urge to pee came over me, I did as she said and pushed. OMIGOD....... let's just say I sprayed the wall, soaked the chair and left a puddle of at least a cup on the floor. It was not urine and had a slightly sweet/cloverlike smell.... and yes, I tasted it and it tasted somewhat sweet. One note.... you can squirt without an orgasm and she covers this in the book. The amount can vary greatly from a trickle all the way to needing towels. I have only squirted once during penetrative sex and it wasn't a whole lot, but still felt great. It's something I'm hoping will happen more. [:)] ooh. thank you two for these posts. i'm a relatively new squirter, and i'm always afraid of urinating...so much so that i hold it in while i orgasm, so after i've orgasmed i -really- feel like i have to pee. i don't know that much about squirting, and i sort of stumbled onto my own ability to do it (and i think He was quite disconcerted for a bit that now -i'm- the one leaving the wet spot, hehehehe), so it's reassuring to hear others posting about their experiences.

Kalyndrah -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/13/2007 6:00:42 PM)
Dude, I soooo want one of those toys!! But just to share my two cents here as well - my cumming on command required no training. It was actually an accidental discovery that Master and I have cultivated over time to be more powerful. We're far away for now, and one of our biggest frustrations is not being able to do anything for the other. So my desire to please him was so strong, and still is, and we're so connected, if that's what he wants, that's what he gets. I am happy I am able to do what he wants, and he wants to be able to alternately torture and reward me. shrug it works. No matter how we got there, it works. =)

servicewithsmile -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/13/2007 6:26:20 PM)
I feel like such a teenager here, please help! So, yes, I've always got to urinate after climaxing -in the worst way. So maybe next time I will just let it flow. But where does this 'squirting' come from? Anatomy-wise? There are ......... Oh nevermind. I googled it 'cause I didn't want to wait for an answer. They're called Skene's glands and apparently have been around for a while. (grin) WHY the heck wasn't I taught about this in health class in grade school?!! I feel cheated. I'm going to have to go right now and make up for lost time. ...ahem... [:D] -sws

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Cumming on command techniques (3/13/2007 6:49:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: servicewithsmile I feel like such a teenager here, please help! So, yes, I've always got to urinate after climaxing -in the worst way. So maybe next time I will just let it flow. But where does this 'squirting' come from? Anatomy-wise? There are ......... Oh nevermind. I googled it 'cause I didn't want to wait for an answer. They're called Skene's glands and apparently have been around for a while. (grin) WHY the heck wasn't I taught about this in health class in grade school?!! I feel cheated. I'm going to have to go right now and make up for lost time. ...ahem... [:D] -sws I really recommend the book from my previous post. It's an excellent resource on the subject, and definitely helps one learn about the female anatomy. Have fun practicing and making up for lost time. [;)]

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