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strapons or anal intercourse - 3/27/2005 1:48:13 PM

astheewish

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Joined: 3/26/2005
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After many years of a great relationship, my mistress moved to Florida. We never played strapon or dildo games. THE QUESTION: Is it worth the effort to find a new top just to get done by flesh or plastic?

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 3/27/2005 2:24:21 PM

stef

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That's a question that only you can answer.

~stef

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 3/27/2005 3:15:30 PM

subhubc

Posts: 23
Joined: 12/14/2004
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She has a new large silicone strapon, and my problem is learning how to take it all. Mutual frustration, but mostly on her end. Trying to find resources or ideas on how one learns to deal with it.

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 3/27/2005 4:38:29 PM

nella

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From: Norway
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what aboute starting whit a smaler one?

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 3/27/2005 5:25:16 PM

subhubc

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We have had a smaller one for a couple of years. Recently, She just purchased an "upgrade", rather big. So far, I can only take a small part of it. Physically, I don't know if I can take it entirely as She desires. I have done a little better with the mouth and throat. Not to sund silly, but are there exercises or something??

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 3/27/2005 7:53:49 PM

nella

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Yse alot of lube, rubber is werry rubby, and can hurt like hell if you use to littel, then take it werry slow, it will probably be a bit uncofortabel, even a bit painful, but if it get to the point where it is so painful you can not handel it, you should stop so you do not ingure yourself.

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 3/28/2005 1:52:18 PM

Archer

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Try reading up on Handballing/ anal Fisting and you may find some hints on relaxation techniques.

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 3/28/2005 4:30:23 PM

astheewish

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wherein does dominate appear?

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 3/29/2005 2:32:31 PM

submissivesilk

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The most important thing is to relax, I know that is not always easy. Start with the small one, after you are looser then move to the larger one(in the same encounter). Perhaps She will allow you to stimulate yourself if She does not want to do it for you. Adding the sexual pleasure to it will relax you more and link the two feelings together.

Good luck

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 3/29/2005 4:50:20 PM

subhubc

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Thanks silk, I have been trying that and am about to find out in about an hour here.

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 4/1/2005 9:39:13 PM

KCbuttslut4U

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i've always found butt-plugs to be a great help in accepting strap-ons of a larger girth. Start with one that takes a little effort to insert. When you can wear it comfortably for several hours, move up to a slightly bigger size. By comfortably, I mean that you should feel comfortable while you are active, not just lying down or sitting.

If the issue is length, use dildo's of increasing length on yourself. She might enjoy watching your efforts to prepare for her strap-on. Enima's help clear the anal cavity which will help a lot too, not to mention just making it a less humiliating experience.

One thing I've found which helps to loosen me up for larger sized strap-ons, is to use lots of lube and toy my ass hard and fast beforehand. When i can pull it completely out and insert it again without any pain, i can move up to a larger size. It's a fairly rapid transition between sizes because the feeling is wonderful and relaxes me quickly.

By the way, subhubc, how did things work out for you the other night?

KC

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 4/2/2005 4:41:26 PM

subhubc

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So so.... after a very long 45 minutes, could only take half of it, leaving me with pain and discomfort, notwithstanding the singletailing and caning used to express Her displeasure. Try and try again...

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 4/2/2005 4:47:47 PM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subhubc

So so.... after a very long 45 minutes, could only take half of it, leaving me with pain and discomfort, notwithstanding the singletailing and caning used to express Her displeasure. Try and try again...

First of all, I'm concerned that your inability to take the entire dildo leads to real life punishment. Unless that's a game for you (punishment) and you like it, I'd worry that your femdom is not being very realistic or dismissing serious health risks but pushing too hard, causing bleeding, etc.

For all you know, it might be her inability on her end. She needs a more realistic sized dildo to start, and she needs to practice having your ass in the proper position to take the entire dildo and know how to thrust with her hips to have an even penetration. She should start with her fingers, then small dildos, and other objects to get an idea of what as asshole is, how it reacts, and what your body is doing.

It's frightening to me that people just start ramming things up a man's ass and complain they don't fit, causing the sub unrealistic pain and possible injury. Then, getting mad at him because she could not get it to work.

Akasha

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 4/3/2005 1:11:39 AM

KarbonCopy

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I know from experience that anal can be difficult to start. I suggest definantly warming up with a medium sized but plug with the use of a smaller, more realistic dildo size.

Mistress and I havnt had the chance to explore this too much yet, and we're still awaiting the money to purchase our buttplugs and strapon, but we have played with dildos.
Unfortuantly our dildo is a little big to start, so we take things very slowly, and in no way does my Mistress ever expect me to be able to just take it all without serious training.
Try different sizes, work with a low size, and then bigger and bigger, but dont try and do this all in one night.

Excersise using butt plugs for a periods during the day, and get your sphincter muscles used to having something larger placed as opposed to comming out. Its all about training your muscles.

As for your Mistress/Femdom having unrealistic goals, dont let her be too rough, because you run a high risk of rupturing skin, ripping muscles, and causing hernias (sp?), and that can lead to some serious surgery that may or may not be able to be reversed.
Please exercise caution and safety, your health and wellness may be at risk.

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 4/3/2005 5:06:32 AM

BeachMystress

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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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I'm with Akasha here. I find it quite disquieting that you're punished because you can not take an overlarge dildo. Pain is the body's way of telling us there is a problem. The rectal tissues are fragile. Go read this http://www.gicare.com/pated/ecdgs38.htm I've talked to several subs who have developed abscesses and fistulas from improper anal play. I've also had to insist a submissive male friend go to the Dr after he confessed to me he'd been bleeding rectally for a week. A Domme did an overlarge insertion and left an inch long tear in a hemorrhoid. He didn't feel he could talk to her about it, so he came to me.

You need to buy your Domme a gift.. Anal Pleasure & Health: A Guide for Men and Women by Jack Morin

My current sub was an anal virgin when I got him. I started him with ONE finger. That went to two. Then we tried a small handheld, which worked fine. My smallest strap on attachment turned out to be too large for him, and we had to go shopping together to find one that would fit. It was fun walking through the store hefting the 6 lb monsters and grinning wickedly at him. LOL We finally settled on the peach to the right of the green ruler in the photo. Since then, I've also acquired the thin red silicone spike http://www.extremerestraints.com/stat/ta784.html between the black one and the dolphin one. It is both of our favorite. When it is time to move him up in size, we will get the medium of http://www.extremerestraints.com/stat/st702.html I am in the process of replacing all of my insertables with silicone toys. This means I recently threw away 12 dildos. What you see in that photo is the remainder of my collection, minus one jelly dildo I'm keeping because it was custom made for me. It will never be used on anyone, just is cool to look at..

AVOID JELLY TOYS.
Jelly is toxic and in a constant state of off gassing. The stuff it is giving off settles in the kidneys, liver and fatty tissues, building up over time. You can read about it at
http://www.womynsware.com/abtbuyerbewware.htm#Crystal%20Jelly%20G-Spot
or find the original article in the magazine Stern (issue 31, 7/01)

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< Message edited by BeachMystress -- 4/3/2005 5:07:05 AM >

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 4/3/2005 6:53:42 AM

nella

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Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
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My first experiece whit anal sex that actualy worked was an acident. My and my fiance had a nice time in bed and he hit the wrong hole and it said pop and in it went, it was just slightly uncofortabel. Now we like to do painfull anal sex from time to time and have never had any trubels, but we are always watching for any signs of damage after eatch session.

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 4/3/2005 8:02:52 AM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 779
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I have a question for those who can help me.

My Mistress and I are buying a few toys this month (hopefully) and I was hoping you could help me out with our strapon products.

http://www.extremerestraints.com/stat/st727.html
This is the Dildo that we want to get, its not too big, its not too small, and Mistress will be able to recieve lots of pleasure, while pleasing me. (not that she wouldnt anyways, or so she says) and on a plus it vibrates.

http://www.extremerestraints.com/stat/ve715.html
This is the Harness we want to get, classy, yet sturdy, and made from leather, not some other cheaper material.

The site says that they are compatable, but for some reason It just doesnt look like it at all.
So I emailed them. This is the answer I got from them (This is a direct quote - Shows you how helpful their customer service is at Extreme Restraints)
"Yes , they are compatable"

I could really use the opinion of someone who would have more expeirence in these area. I guess I'm looking for reassurance before I go and unload the money on our purchase.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 4/3/2005 4:06:09 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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You need that harness to stabilize the feeldoe, or you'll not be happy with it. The nexus is better to wield without a harness. http://www.libida.com/content/shop/toys/item.php?product_id=000014

I use a jock style harness and like it. My current one was custom made for me. My prior one was also a jock style but was awful. It had thin straps and didn't stay easily in place. Rather than every movement equaling a thrust or withdraw, I had to do large, tiresome motions to get good thrusting action. The new one has wider, thicker straps. They do not stretch in the least and the harness moves like it is part of me.

I notice the harness you show is a lace up. It goes up to 48", but what is the smallest dimension it fits? If your lady is smaller, it may not be able to be tight enough on her. Also, notice the leg straps are not leather, but nylon webbing. I have a pair of sport sheet cuffs (http://www.extremerestraints.com/stat/ec576.html) and am very happy with them, so I do trust the brand. They managed to keep an ex sub of mine (6'5" 240 lbs) where I put him, even with him struggling. I was surprised and impressed. Usually we used a monster pair of cuffs with him, but I wanted something fast and dirty.. cuff him NOW so I could administer a lesson. I was shocked as hell it worked. Don't assume that because it is nylon it is going to be inferior.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

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RE: strapons or anal intercourse - 4/3/2005 4:30:28 PM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 779
Status: offline

Okay, I understand that we need the harness, and no we dont have a problem with my Mistress being too small. I dont remember what size she is, but it should fit her very well. we'll have to shorten the straps but *shrugs*.

I just dont see how that dildo is going to fit into this.
Look at the picture.