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RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/6/2007 6:06:33 AM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Perhaps what you are experiencing is the phenomonom of "tiny fish from miniature pond visits big pond"  In other words, your 20 years of experience in the provinces qualifies you as an inexperience newbie in a real town.



Perhaps this is true, but dont you think that after 20+ years, he'd be able to figure this out for himself?  Sounds like a pretty elementary question he's asking to me.  My first impression was in asking the question, that he has way, way less experience in BDSM than he claims to have and that could be the problem.  Or, he could be categorizing those with different interests and point of view as "fakers." 


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/6/2007 2:30:14 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		In all walks of life you will find players ans wanna bees.  I proudly wear my Masters collar .  Tere are as you put it "true" subs/slaves out there.  Just don't be in a rush took me over a year to find my Master.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to LeatherBentOne)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/6/2007 8:50:38 PM   
MasterShaver


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		First of all, I want to thank all those who have been very polite, and given me words of wisdom, and their own experiences...Again thank you for your encouragement!!!

As for all the others who posted replys to my question....and were insulting and completely out of line....You are all very very rude and totally not worth my time and attention. As someone posted opinions are like A-Holes...Every one has them....I see from the majority of the responses this is true...you are all A-Holes.....
 
This site is not worth my time either....I have decided to leave Collarme.....I wish you all good luck....but before I leave let me share a story with you....

About a year ago I met a M/s couple and became good friends with them....they seemed quite content in their relationship, and all seemed ok on the surface....One night I get a knock on my door and the slave was standing in the door with bruises and bleeding about the face....Her Master beat her till she was black and blue....she had definate hard limits about bleeding and bruising....yet her Master violated any agreements. In talking with her while taking care of her injuries, I found out that she only knew him for 3 weeks before she moved in...and became his slave.....she really didn't know him or his history at all....she paid for her ignorance with two black eyes and facial bruises.....
 
This is why one wants to build relationships on stong vanilla basis...to prevent maniacs, idots, and abusers from attaching a stigma to bdsm.....

Personnally I think all those who posted negative comments are the whiners on this board....those who truely know what bdsm is about know it is not kink in the bedroom...which the majority on this board must practice...but it is a way of thinking and living that satisfies the inner most needs and desires of both in a mutually constructive environment that does not clash with but live along side vanilla morals and beliefs....



(in reply to MasterShaver)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/6/2007 9:02:35 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShaver

This is why one wants to build relationships on stong vanilla basis...to prevent maniacs, idots, and abusers from attaching a stigma to bdsm.....

Personnally I think all those who posted negative comments are the whiners on this board....those who truely know what bdsm is about know it is not kink in the bedroom...which the majority on this board must practice...but it is a way of thinking and living that satisfies the inner most needs and desires of both in a mutually constructive environment that does not clash with but live along side vanilla morals and beliefs...


while i don't see any difference between my morals and beliefs and my practice of d/s and bdsm...so i don't particularly think of my morals and beliefs as vanilla in and of themselves, nor do i think of my life as vanilla, nor do i feel the need to prove myself vanilla-wise in order to "save" bdsm from stigma, or hide my life from people for fear of offending them...i fail to see the connection here. yes, i am one of the "a-holes" who made a snarky reply. however, i agree with most of what you've said here and maybe i've missed where this really has anything to do with anything, or anything to do with your original post, which came off to me as more whining about all the "wannabes." i'm seeing apples and oranges here, in the all of -four- posts you have on this forum before you've decided to leave it because a few people said something mean to you. if i up and left collarme every time anyone said something i didn't want to hear, i'd never post. what the hell does this post have to do with the topic of your thread, which was mostly bitching about separating "fakes" from "reals"?

(in reply to MasterShaver)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/6/2007 9:12:08 PM   
curiouspet55


Posts: 133
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Who defines true, player, and wannabe? What one appears to you may not appear the same to another. Whose to say those you think are "playas" aren't true, in the only way they know how?

That being said, you just have to keep looking, trying to find the one who works for you. Emails, conversations, meetings - communicate. Trial and error. Just with any type of relationship or dating scene, it takes time, effort, and heartbreak.

Best of luck.

_____________________________

Question everything, try anything, do something.

(in reply to sweetkcredhead)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/6/2007 9:38:47 PM   
MasterNdorei


Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		Anyone who is looking for a live-in, real time dynamic would be wise to consider non-lifestyle issues in their communications. Be patient, stay positive in your aproach, and have compassion. Not everyone wants what you want, but some are just afraid.

Master's dorei

(in reply to curiouspet55)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/6/2007 9:51:19 PM   
gandalf0297


Posts: 148
Joined: 8/6/2006
Status: offline 		Seem's like he got mad, took his ball and went home................................

_____________________________

"The best things cannot be said. The second best are misunderstood." (Joseph Campbell.)

(in reply to MasterNdorei)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/6/2007 9:53:02 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShaver

*snipped so no one has to read it again*



To quote a famous proverb

"Don't let the door hitcha where the good Lord splitcha!"

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MasterShaver)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/6/2007 9:54:22 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gandalf0297

Seem's like he got mad, took his ball and went home................................


I'll bet my plate of BBQ he makes another post telling us how mean we are. Personally, I think it's mean and arrogant to come in talking smack about a bunch of people we don't know and therefore can't judge.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to gandalf0297)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/7/2007 8:45:51 AM   
pdubau


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/9/2006
Status: offline 		Well, being new myself, I took the post with interest, and watched the thread. 

The general impression I got was the most of the replies were working the boarder of personal attacks, lacking constructive value.  Just my opinion, to each his own. 

For me personally, I'll continue to post, cause I have the ability to just ignore posts like that, to the point of not responding to them. I ignore the coal and mine the diamonds, so to speak.

For the experienced posters out there, people look to you for advice.  I know that there are many wan-ta-bees, whiners, etc.  But the only way to change that is to increase the number of "serious" people.  That is done with posts crafted with respect and dignity.

imho

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/8/2007 9:56:42 AM   
moki1984


Posts: 274
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		ahh the wanna-be's...the attention whores....the so called doms who just enjoy rough sex and are mad at their mommy....so called subs who set so many fucking limits the dom has to ask permission to pinch their ass.....(i have limits myself we all do but some people but a bit far)....all i can say, if one keeps looking the right ones eventually pop up. and some of those wanna be's are just new and dont understand who they are inside completely yet and may over time become exactly what you are looking for .
I will give this advice, if you meet someone via the net or at a party etc....do not rush into a D/s relationship. Take time...get to know their limits, their likes/dislikes, what really gets them going, what they expect out of you...know the man/woman you are letting put a collar on u, and know the man/woman u are putting a collar on. The D/s relationship is not something to be rushed.

< Message edited by moki1984 -- 3/8/2007 9:58:43 AM >

(in reply to MasterShaver)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/8/2007 10:17:27 AM   
purpleangel55


Posts: 10
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		I was very glad to read your last remark about submissives being lost in a sea of wanna be or player Doms.  I have had that problem on several sites.
 
I think the answer is in going with gut instinct for one thing.  I know that if all they want to discuss is sex and scene, its time to say goodbye.   Someone who has no interest in me as a person is not what I am looking for and it sounds like you are also wanting to be treated as a human being, albeit, a Dominant one.
 
Its like panning for gold, you have to sift through lots of sand and silt but by God those nuggets are out there.

_____________________________

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost. That is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.
Henry David Thoreau

(in reply to MasterShaver)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/10/2007 5:55:32 AM   
raevnn


Posts: 152
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShaver

First of all, I want to thank all those who have been very polite, and given me words of wisdom, and their own experiences...Again thank you for your encouragement!!!

As for all the others who posted replys to my question....and were insulting and completely out of line....You are all very very rude and totally not worth my time and attention. As someone posted opinions are like A-Holes...Every one has them....I see from the majority of the responses this is true...you are all A-Holes.....
 
This site is not worth my time either....I have decided to leave Collarme.....I wish you all good luck....but before I leave let me share a story with you....

About a year ago I met a M/s couple and became good friends with them....they seemed quite content in their relationship, and all seemed ok on the surface....One night I get a knock on my door and the slave was standing in the door with bruises and bleeding about the face....Her Master beat her till she was black and blue....she had definate hard limits about bleeding and bruising....yet her Master violated any agreements. In talking with her while taking care of her injuries, I found out that she only knew him for 3 weeks before she moved in...and became his slave.....she really didn't know him or his history at all....she paid for her ignorance with two black eyes and facial bruises.....
 
This is why one wants to build relationships on stong vanilla basis...to prevent maniacs, idots, and abusers from attaching a stigma to bdsm.....

Personnally I think all those who posted negative comments are the whiners on this board....those who truely know what bdsm is about know it is not kink in the bedroom...which the majority on this board must practice...but it is a way of thinking and living that satisfies the inner most needs and desires of both in a mutually constructive environment that does not clash with but live along side vanilla morals and beliefs....


I hope you do find whatever it is you're looking for.
Sometimes it's easier when one isn't looking online. Local munches are always fun places to meet people, face to face. :)

(in reply to MasterShaver)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/10/2007 6:04:31 AM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LeatherLord2003

I am not a slave or a submissive, but it is mho that if one is a Master, self proclaimed or otherwise, that he should have the ability to nurture submission from those he desires a relationship with and that want to have a relationship with him. It is not about beating your chest and proclaiming to the world your greatness, instead it is about fueling desire, touching their mind, caressing their heart. It is about falling in love, yes I said love. I have never quite understood why people think that everyone they talk to should be a perfect match instantly. I have talked to lots of people and told many of them no thank you. It wasn't because they were not what they claimed to be, it was because our hearts didn't connect. Say what you will, but without love, it is a job. I place the highest expectations on myself, not my submissive, and yes I have one, and yes she wears my collar... proudly I might add. when we started talking, we talked for 11 straight hours on the phone... that was the begining of a week of talking for more than 6o hours on the phone, so by the time we met, we had a good idea of the other persons thoughts, ideals, and hearts. We didnt talk about play, kinks, or perversions, we talked to each others heart... when we met, you could have taken the chemistry and bottled it, it was so intense.

Bottom line is, maybe the place you should look is in the mirror, see what it is that you convey to others. It's just my opinion, and opinions are like a-holes, everyone has them, most of them stink.


 
It TRULY is about touching the mind and caressing the heart...
both the D side of the coin as well as the s side.  2 becoming interdependently growing together, based on a deep deep compatability that is not as shallow as just a sexual act.

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to LeatherLord2003)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/11/2007 10:12:56 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		In a small town with a very small pool of possibles, people will settle more. They are more interested in getting some of their needs rather than holding out for someone who is truly compatible. After all if any of your past relationships had been with someone truly compatible, then you would still be with them.

In a big city people don't have to settle. They meet you, discover that you have something they will not tolerate and move on to the next.

They aren't fake, they are more honest about what they want and they aren't interested in a halfway okay relationship for a year or two because the alternative isn't loneliness but finding a damn good relationship.

(in reply to sweetkcredhead)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: A question from a Master to any slave or submissive... - 3/12/2007 6:17:26 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterShaver

Is there any true submissives and slaves to be found in this lifestyle? <snip> How can someone like me...who is very real and grounded find a real slave or a real submissive in a sea of wanna-bees?


~chuckle~ I dare not even read all the responses. I've been offline too long to try to catch up but I have a feeling I've seen this song and dance routine before. ~chuckle~

I don't know about anyone else. All I can say is ... I ain't real. Nope. Not even one little bit. I am a figment of everyone's imagination and I sure do wish you all would imagine me richer, more famous (or infamous), and younger, but please oh please stop imagining me as being so darned hot because it is ~quite~ the burden.

~biting back a grin~

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to MasterShaver)
Profile   Post #: 56
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