Which is best...

Which is best... (Full Version)

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FiestyFi -> Which is best... (3/4/2007 10:44:41 AM)
Hello to all you Masters, As a newbie who is slightly curious, I was probably thinking too much about the lifestyle. When a thought crossed my mind, dangerous huh! Picture the scene, your in a bar, you've had a few drinks, having a good time, when you spot the woman for you. After a while of dating and getting to know one and other, all the time knowing that your kinky desires are that you seek a submissive, does it matter that perhaps the woman for you is: a) vanilla b) newbie submissive c) not interested at all Can you see past the fact that she is vanilla? realize the potential that she has, and could become a submissive if your introduced her to it? As a newbie submissive is it a little easier to introduce the lifestyle too? she has some prior knowledge and understanding, but still requires training? Or can you spot the ones that aren't at all interested? As a Master do you totally disregard vanilla's, newbies, and the ones who aren't interested? Also do Masters have vanilla dates/dating/relationships? or is there not enough sexual kink to keep you interested for long! Sorry if this doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense to me either. Any insights would be welcome. Thanks, FiestyFi xx

Padriag -> RE: Which is best... (3/4/2007 10:54:13 AM)
You seem to make the assumption its all about sexual kink. To be sure, for some that is true. But you will also find that for some of us the kink is far less important than other aspects. Speaking for myself, who I take interest in is dependant entirely on how closely she resembles what I seek. Of that, kink and fetishes make up a relatively unimportant part. That she is similar to my goals, my way of thinking, to those ideals that I hold to, that she is willing to play a role in the life I create for myself is of far greater importance to me. In that, it is very much about potential.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Which is best... (3/4/2007 11:02:12 AM)
There are "vanilla's" who have stronger power exchanges, deeper relationships, and far kinkier sex than many D/s BDSM relationships. For ME, I don't care what the orientation of a woman is, either she does it for me or not. I tend to meet women who seek a dominant man and I tend to be attracted to submissive women. Some are vanilla some are kinky and some are bdsm experienced. We all started out ignorant of bdsm after all, nobody is born knowing how to do all this well and healthily, it is learned. The desire may be innate but just like social skills are learned, so is WIIWD! What keeps a relationship going for me is if I find myself thinking about things she said, in other words, if she engages my mind, my cock will follow.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Which is best... (3/4/2007 11:03:15 AM)
Beginning a relationship with someone based on the notion that you can change them into who or what you want them to be is a BAD idea. Change is hard and therefore unlikely. You need to be able to accept them as they are first, then let go of the outcome that they will become what you hope. Yeah, hard, I know. Master Fire

szobras -> RE: Which is best... (3/4/2007 11:07:20 AM)
Speaking for myself, who I take interest in is dependant entirely on how closely she resembles what I seek. Of that, kink and fetishes make up a relatively unimportant part. That she is similar to my goals, my way of thinking, to those ideals that I hold to, that she is willing to play a role in the life I create for myself is of far greater importance to me. In that, it is very much about potential Though speaking for yourself, thank you for speaking for me also. My sentiments exactly.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Which is best... (3/4/2007 11:11:21 AM)
Personaly, I prefer submissive personalities. Not necessarily those who are going to be into BDSM specifically, but those who are not going to try and run whatever relationship develops. I have dated Dominant partners who ths worked wel with, and I have dated submissive partners who still tried to run things outside of scenes. Now, my question to you: Are you looking at this strictly from a kink perspective? You mentioned that your KINKY desire is for a submissive... but thats just the sexual parts. It is far easier to find a vanilla partner who will be open to kinky sexual play than it is a vanilla partner that would consider a lifestyle BDSM role. If you're goal was just kink, then there is no one I would leave out of the dating pool. If it is something deeper than that, if I truly desire a good submissive or a slave then I would not start my search in a vanilla venue. MFM said it best, starting a relationship with the intentins of changing someone never works out. Adding kink to the sexlife is not a drastic change in someones outlook. That begins and ends in the bedroom. TPE, on the other hand, is a whole different ballgame. DV

Totalmaster4you -> RE: Which is best... (3/4/2007 12:12:33 PM)
Sometimes examples are the best answer. I have always been attracted to petite, brunette women particularly asians yet I married a California blonde, though she was petite. Attitude is the big attraction for me. If you're a newbi that's great because I can teach you without having a lot of bad habits to break. When I was younger vanilla was okay because I knew she was submissive from the moment I met her (my wife) even though she was vanilla and didn't have a clue. Now though I wouldn't bother with someone who was not intrested or a vanilla unless she expressed a curiosity. Sure Masters go on vanilla dates if you meet someone offline to see what things you have of mutual interest. If there's not enough the dating stops. Sometimes Dominants find so much attractive in a vanilla that they get married and work out their kinks at the local dungeon with a pro.

Focus50 -> RE: Which is best... (3/4/2007 2:11:38 PM)
*I don't do "vanilla dates" with vanillas....* This woman at the bar who I've spotted, there'd be something about her eyes or mannerisms etc that caught my interest as opposed to merely being female and of some superficial physical attraction. I notice attractive women all the time, esp if they have what I call a "highly spankable" butt, but if she doesn't have something to suggest a submissive nature, that butt is just window dressing. *Bottom line is that the "kink" of what we do is primarily incidental. I'm more interested in a* *partner who does as she's told (and is equally fulfilled in doing so) at a greater relationship* *level rather than merely when the toys are brought out. To that end, it doesn't matter in the* *least if she's experienced or not, just willing and able....* *All animals recognise their own kind. Put an inexperienced fem/sub in a room with 20 vanilla* *women, incl one who hasn't discovered BDSM or even her unique sub needs, and I'd back myself to spot her in short order.* *Focus.*

FukinTroll -> RE: Which is best... (3/4/2007 2:22:15 PM)
I have put many kinks in the ice cream. Doesn't matter what they are. If they are interested in my kink, which they all eventually become to an extent, we have a lot more to work with.

mstrjx -> RE: Which is best... (3/4/2007 4:05:44 PM)
I don't mind (at all) newbie's or inexperienced. To me, vanilla and not interested is the same. I don't bother 'going there'. I realize there might be potential, but not worth the strategy to figure it all out. Jeff

Stephann -> RE: Which is best... (3/4/2007 6:40:47 PM)
It's best if she can hold a decent conversation about cultural impact of television, the musical impact of Robert Johnson, and the political climate of China. It's best if she can make me laugh, and if I can make her laugh. It's best if she has warm, caring eyes. If she can handle those things, I'm sure it won't be difficult to find an equally satisfying joy in bed. Stephan

SimplyMichael -> RE: Which is best... (3/4/2007 8:50:22 PM)
quote: This woman at the bar who I've spotted, there'd be something about her eyes or mannerisms etc that caught my interest as as opposed to merely being female and of some superficial physical attraction. I notice attractive women all the time, esp if they have what I call a "highly spankable" butt Oh you are killing me!

Focus50 -> RE: Which is best... (3/5/2007 1:09:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: This woman at the bar who I've spotted, there'd be something about her eyes or mannerisms etc that caught my interest as as opposed to merely being female and of some superficial physical attraction. I notice attractive women all the time, esp if they have what I call a "highly spankable" butt Oh you are killing me! Wellll, if it isn't my old mate Simply with yet another spineless hit and run cheap shot.... yawn *Yeah, I'm familiar with the drill and already know you won't be sticking your head back up in this thread - not to post, anyways! [;)]* *How's that ole saying (or coward's creed) go? He who snipes and runs away blah blah blah....* *Focus.*

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