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firemuse -> RE: A strong sub - good/bad/indifferent? (3/10/2007 8:56:25 AM)
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OP - I too am exceptionally driven, aggressive, hard-headed, and feisty. And, I am VERY naturally submissive. But, only to a dominant man who has earned my respect. I find domination to be such a gift, because it's almost the only time that I can just sit back, close my eyes, not have to be solving problems, putting out fires, taking care/charge...just let go, be free, just BE........
For me it's just such an intoxicating, relieving, refreshing feeling. And the beauty is that both ends of the spectrum exist...that there are people who feel as much a craving to dominate, as we do to surrender complete control to them.
I took great pains to try to express this very clearly in my profile. I think it's worked, from the email I receive.
I train dogs recreationally and my favourites have always been the ones that are feisty, hard-headed, stubborn. They are harder to train but once you pull it off, they're so much more rewarding. They keep me on my toes. I've always called them 'firecrackers' and that's where my nick derives from.
I've found that as every submissive is different, so is every Dominant. One of my most treasured teachers LOVED my independant, spirited nature and so encouraged me to never let D/s interfere with the life I've created. I've spoken to others, who don't like these parts of my character - some, I've gotten the impression they're somewhat threatened (that's OK cuz I'm not well-matched to someone who wants a doormat), and others I think it's just preference. I would probably be a nightmare for someone who wants 24/7 TPE or Gorean lifestyle and I tried to reflect that in my profile as well.
I think a distinction needs to be clear in your own mind though - between independance and related traits outside of your D/s relationship, and brattiness within the r'ship. I am new to the lifestyle as well (but not to being submissive to my partners) so I'm only one small step ahead of you in knowledge/experience. I do know though, that while a certain amount of brattiness may be 'fun' to some Dominants and seen as a form of flirtation, a challenge - to others, it's viewed as games and they will not deal with a sub that acts out for attention. Myself, I wasn't clear in your post whether you meant brattiness towards a Dom, or just like myself, a personality that in general is not submissive to anyone BUT the one you're involved with.
I think the answer to your question isn't simple, as it depends on the person you're with. I think you're like me - and are better off asking questions of people you are considering becoming involved with, trying to get a feel for what they want. I've been up front with people who are into Gorean lifestyle or 24/7 TPE; I say I identify as a sub rather than a slave. I am fully committed to submitting myself to someone worthy, but I do feel that I can do that without having to give up my career or free thought...in fact I wonder about someone who would want to control someone who is weak. But that's JMO.
(editted for grammar)
fire
"Alienum est omne quicquid optando evenit"
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