Suport group for submissives. (Full Version)

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nella -> Suport group for submissives. (3/28/2005 7:51:56 AM)

Just one crasy idea i got, and i do belive many got the same idea before me. what abooute a suport group for submissive woman and men, online perhaps, where we could discuss the things that bother us and make us happy, and just palin discuss whit somone in the lifestyle in an forum where one are not costanlty cheked up and given rude letters from Dom men?

A suport group like this could also be good for training, let us say that i and a fue else all want to louse wiehgt, or learn a new skill or be better at somthing, and we could discuss among ourself and suport one another, increasing the chance of sucsess.

Just an idea, pleese do not shoot me.



snmsub -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (3/28/2005 7:53:31 AM)

I think it's a great idea and I would join in a second.



MasterzKitten -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (3/28/2005 7:56:09 AM)

i agree with anmsub, i think its an absolutely great idea [:)]



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (3/28/2005 7:59:21 AM)

It is a good idea, and there's already like dozens in place. Try yahoogroups, do a google search.



snmsub -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (3/28/2005 8:01:52 AM)

I belong to subsanctuary (MSN) , but there are just as many Dom/mes there as subs.. so it just isn't what I thought it would be.



ProtagonistLily -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (3/28/2005 8:04:50 AM)

quote:

Just one crasy idea i got, and i do belive many got the same idea before me. what abooute a suport group for submissive woman and men, online perhaps, where we could discuss the things that bother us and make us happy, and just palin discuss whit somone in the lifestyle in an forum where one are not costanlty cheked up and given rude letters from Dom men?

A suport group like this could also be good for training, let us say that i and a fue else all want to louse wiehgt, or learn a new skill or be better at somthing, and we could discuss among ourself and suport one another, increasing the chance of sucsess.

Just an idea, pleese do not shoot me.



As someone who, in the past, belonged to a real time 'submissive's group', my experiences weren't that great. The idea of a 'support group' makes it sound like a sickness to me. They have support groups for illnesses. I don't see being submissive as being sick.

My experience with a monthly 'subs' group was a lot of bitching and complaining. I don't see where that's useful. Also, why would I need to be trained by other submissives? That also doesn't seem to be particularly useful to me. If you want to lose weight, go on a diet. Find some friends to do it with if you need support, or join a support group, like Weight Watchers or OA (both which are world wide), but I really don't see where being kinky has anything to do with it.

I do, however, think there is value in making friends with people who I grow to trust and can relate to, to bounce ideas off of, etc. I have found having a small circle of friends of both genders who are submissive to be very valuable to me. I can't really shop for corsets with my vanilla friends, nor will they have any advice for me on WIIWD.

But, I think it's really important for me to treat myself as a whole human being rather than just submissive. I have chosen to get close to submissives that I meet, not simply because they are submissives, but because something in their total life experience attracted me to them. I have actually managed to blend my vanilla friends with some of my kinky friends and no one ever knows the differance. I think it's important to keep a good balance myself.

Lily



onceburned -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (3/28/2005 8:53:28 AM)

quote:

hat abooute a suport group for submissive woman and men, online perhaps,


There must be dozens of submissive support groups on Yahoo. Here is one that is for sub eyes only: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sub_den

I belong to several such groups and haven't found them to be especially helpful, but I admit that I haven't invested much of myself in them either. [8|]



stormsfate -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (3/28/2005 10:12:36 AM)

I'm with ProtagonistLily on this one...lol. What do you need support with? There are tons of submissive only groups already in existence. As far as discussions about things that bother you or make you happy....why not just post them here :)


best regards,
fate

P.S. Whatever you are looking for in this type of group, cannot be found in a group setting, IMHO.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (3/28/2005 11:23:18 AM)

quote:

what abooute (sic) a suport (sic) group for submissive woman and men, online perhaps


I thought that's what CollarMe is?



harmony3709 -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (3/29/2005 11:51:51 PM)

I think it's a great idea, nella, but as some have said, there seem to be a lot of submissive groups on Yahoo and probably MSN. My experience with online sub groups is that they are rarely just submissives. They may start out that way and with the best of intentions, but the few I've seen end up being a Dom and sub group, which in essence, is what is here on CollarMe. The only group I knew that was "supposedly" just submissives had a long list of requirements and literally verified that you were who you were, wanted references (vanilla as well as lifestyle), to talk to you on the phone, etc. Personally, I must admit that the questionnaire alone (pages and pages) were not worth it to me to join.

If you find any others or wish to start one, let me know -- I think it's a great idea.

harmony



KarbonCopy -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (4/1/2005 10:46:28 AM)


As a submissive myself, I dont really know what I would gain from a sub support group.

I've never been abused, I'm treated with the utmost respect from my Domme, and things are good.
How would a support group help me? Just curious, I dont know what it would entail.



harmony3709 -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (4/2/2005 2:36:52 PM)

Possibly the term support group does give the wrong idea. Basically I think of a submissive group as one where all can speak freely, discuss common issues and problems, and also celebrate triumphs and develop friendships. At least in theory anyway, lol.

I look at it in the same way as when my co-workers and I would gather together somewhere away from the work place and without any management or supervisors, etc. present. It changes the dynamics of the group and allows for different kinds of discussions and friendships.

harmony



KarbonCopy -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (4/2/2005 2:48:23 PM)

Isnt that what we have here?

You dont get more open then these communities.

Unless they're posers.



harmony3709 -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (4/3/2005 1:00:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KarbonCopy

Isnt that what we have here?

You dont get more open then these communities.

Unless they're posers.



No, CollarMe is a community for ALL, no matter whether you are sub, dom, whatever and the idea of this thread was a forum or group for submissives ONLY. In fact, the topic of a submissive-only group came up at my local munch again tonight (and not by me). I didn't see the response from all the submissives in attendance, but the ones I did hear give a response, I'd say it was about 50/50 giving a definite yes answer, and of the other half, most were not sure. Obviously not all feel the need to have a group where there are no Tops/Doms/Masters/Dominas/Mistresses in attendance, but those who were interested, were very enthusiastic about the idea.

I think that online though it's difficult to keep it to submissives only since who knows who is behind a profile.

harmony



KarbonCopy -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (4/3/2005 1:14:37 AM)

What kind of services would a Submissive group provide?

If you were abused by a dom/domme I can understand that, but what if your relationship is healthy and you've had no bad experiences, what would one stand from joining a groupl like this. I ask this because there is a group in my city called "Bottoms Up" and its a submissive club that gets together a few times a month to talk, and I'm wondering what I would gain for going to these groups.



harmony3709 -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (4/3/2005 4:21:17 PM)

Good question. I haven't been yet to the one I was recently told about and invited to attend, but from what I was told, they discuss the same kinds of topics you see here on CollarMe. I think if you read through the topics on the Ask A Submissive section, that would probably give a good general idea. Basically think of it as having a network and group to bounce ideas off of, learn new tips whether safety or hygiene or body modification, etc., and discuss relationship or play issues, etc.

When asked if I wanted to join a submissive-only group, I basically asked what kinds of discussions did they have and I also asked if it was a group that had a topic planned ahead of time, or was it more loose where people just gathered and let the conversation go where it would. My main reason for asking that was because I think if regular topics are chosen ahead of time, it would be easier to make sure that a large variety of topics are covered and also if announced ahead of time, you might encourage some to attend that had an interest in that topic.

I would suggest contacting the person who organizes the group in your area that you referred to, and ask them about it. Ask them exactly what you asked here. Worst case scenario, you attend a meeting and find it's not for you and you don't go again.

Play safe and be well,
harmony




EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (4/3/2005 8:42:31 PM)

I think if people find it important to associate with only subs to talk about whatever they feel they can't be comfy with in mixed company, then they should definitely form support groups for that.

I prefer just to have a multitude of perspectives and ideas to bounce from.

Just to point out though- many groups online and offline already have "sub specific" resources like that in place. It's not a new idea.



harmony3709 -> RE: Suport group for submissives. (4/3/2005 9:39:37 PM)

I don't think anyone ever stated this was a new idea. I'm sure sub groups have been around for decades and I have seen them online for years, and was invited to join one (r/t) several years ago that was an off-shoot of a munch group.

It's not a matter of it being "important", a lot of it is just social. I wouldn't attend a submissive group in place of attending the munch I attend either. As I stated before, it just presents a different dynamic to the group and just because it is a group consisting only of submissives does not mean you are not going to get a multitude of perspectives, at least not from the submissives that attend the munch that I do. And it's definitely not for everyone, no. What is?

harmony



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