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phoenix41 -> collar's (3/5/2007 3:30:39 AM)
I am new to the site and to the meaning behind a submissive wearing a collar. Let me explain.. Previously i have thought and still do that a girl wearing a collar looks extremely sexually attractive to me. However, i have met a submissive girl and when i asked if she would wear one for me during sex, she hesitated and asked me to find out from the message board what this actually means for someone like her.. please can all you subs give me advice on this thanks!

sleazybutterfly -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 3:42:10 AM)
It means different things to different people, but I assume you are just talking about a "kink" during sex. That is all it means if that is what you give it, and shouldn't have a lot read into it. I think that people overthink things sometimes a bit too much.

AquaticSub -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 4:13:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: phoenix41 I am new to the site and to the meaning behind a submissive wearing a collar. Let me explain.. Previously i have thought and still do that a girl wearing a collar looks extremely sexually attractive to me. However, i have met a submissive girl and when i asked if she would wear one for me during sex, she hesitated and asked me to find out from the message board what this actually means for someone like her.. please can all you subs give me advice on this thanks! It means different things to a lot of people. If Valyraen wants me to wear a collar during sex it means he wants to chain me up or pull on a leash. When he asks me to wear his collar, then he is asking the d/s equivalent of "will you marry me?". There are lots of people who don't approve of a woman wearing a collar until she is formally owned. I don't hold with that because I think it's sexy and fun as a playtoy. However, others do and it's something that, in my opinion, should be respected.

JulesBloke -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 4:39:43 AM)
Hello, This is an interesting area, there are a few for whom it is just a toy for use during sex...but for most it holds a much higher status, some see wearing someones collar as a statement of intent....almost as an alternative to a wedding ring. I think I know who you are talking about Sir....and I am sure that it is something that she would only consider if she really felt that she had found her guy.....smiles. It is not uncommen within the scene for people to have quite lavish Collaring ceremonies and to submit themselves in front of friend and like minded others as a way of showing the importance they attach to the process. Most submissives like this one resist collars untill they are sure that the colleror is someone they really can commit to. I hope this helps, but feel free to ask more if you wish. Best Regards Julian

myobedience -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 5:52:32 AM)
Unlike others, I have a very different opinion and maybe some hold to mine as well. Either way, it is how my heart and soul feel about the idea of a collar. It is like a marriage certificate... if it is the only thing holding a marriage together, forget it. Divorce. Collars are not sexy to me, and he has a genuine need to keep me a lady in public, esp those that look like dog collars and I dont want to wear one. I dont believe a collar is any different than a marriage certificate. Its a materialistic object that supposedly joins the D side of the coin s side. Actions, open communication and the exchange of control/authority with obedience is the real heart of the relationship and committment. When it is time to make a committment, I have this intuitive feeling it wont be with a symbol of show. I know to whom I will belong and he will know who honors that committment. These days I wear too much awareness jewelery anyway..... and I am damned proud to make an awareness statement. I would be as damned proud to wear a nice peice of jewelery honoring my committment, but I would like to know he might consider something too. I think he might think on that, based upon my past and how protective he is of me at this point. So like the coin has a D and s side, I would think he and I would have something shared that way too. Maybe nipple rings ! hehehehe [8D] Come check me out on MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/awarenessyourbestdefense

juliaoceania -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 6:00:22 AM)
I have never worn a collar for play or as a symbol of commitment. Both dominant men I have been involved with have seen it as a heavy commitment and I guess because of that I have grown to see it that way too. We have discussed my wearing one for public play, but he has not bought one for me yet, and I think even that is a sign of commitment for him on some level. It is all in how people view it, and from what you related in your OP, this submissive may see it as a commitment.

dawntreader -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 6:00:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: phoenix41 I am new to the site and to the meaning behind a submissive wearing a collar. Let me explain.. Previously i have thought and still do that a girl wearing a collar looks extremely sexually attractive to me. However, i have met a submissive girl and when i asked if she would wear one for me during sex, she hesitated and asked me to find out from the message board what this actually means for someone like her.. please can all you subs give me advice on this thanks! In Your relationship it should not matter what the community thinks and if you are the Dominant, it is your choice if she wears one to "play" in or not...

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 6:01:29 AM)
Collars can be used in play and that is all they mean. A collared sub or slave means something alot more. Collars mean whatever meaning you put behind them. I am collared to Master which means to me that I am his and he owns every part of me. We have a collar for play that only means it is play time.

AquaticSub -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 6:06:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dawntreader In Your relationship it should not matter what the community thinks and if you are the Dominant, it is your choice if she wears one to "play" in or not... Shouldn't it matter a little bit what she thinks? For me it would be terribly cruel to put a diamond ring on my left hand just for play and sex, and that is comparable to how I'm guessing she feels about a collar. It would be like a terrible punishment and it would certainly be a fuck to my mind and my emotions in a very bad way. Athough, now that I think about it, why didn't she just tell him what she thinks instead of telling him to come to the message board?

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 6:19:23 AM)
well, i feel a collar should have a special meaning behind it and not be viewed as a"velcro jewelry" (collared one week and uncollared the next). all my 2 collars (soon 3) have special meaning to my relationship with Daddy. i wear my daily metal wedding ring to symbolize my committment to Daddy until death do we part. my 2nd collar (princess one) symbolizes His how much he loves and cares for me as a submissive - this one was given as a Valentine's Day present. my 3rd one (coming by Fri/Sat) will represent that i'm Daddy's "whore". it's demeaning or degrading to be called a "whore" however when Daddy calls me that, it's done in love.

sweetkcredhead -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 6:27:33 AM)
My opinion only is that a collar should be felt around the heart before it is felt around the neck. Ive only been offered one collar and i turned it down because i didnt feel that commitment. On the flip side, the one person i would have accepted it from never offered. If i ever wear a collar it will have the upmost significance. sarah1

simplewhispers -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 6:59:54 AM)
I want one .......... for inside and out ..... I want that feeling of ..... being claimed ....

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 7:15:58 AM)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_498653/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#498670 The Coveted and Legendary Collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_531609/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#531610 Collaring vs Wearing a collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_547321/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#547475 The meaning of a collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_485613/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#485797 Please share with me (what being collared means to you) http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=427111&mpage=1&key=collaring&#427257 being collared http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=410988&mpage=1&key=collaring&#411019 public collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_291301/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#291301 Collar vs Wedding Ring http://www.collarchat.com/m_287566/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#287566 Another Question Regarding the Collar http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=323687&mpage=1&key=collaring&#323702 collars (2) http://www.collarchat.com/m_287140/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#287140 Collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_264867/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#264867 Sub Thoughts on collars http://www.collarchat.com/m_248345/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#248345 collar before love http://www.collarchat.com/m_247668/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#247668 ring or collar, what's the difference? http://www.collarchat.com/m_219135/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#219135 What does a collar mean? http://www.collarchat.com/m_190240/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#190240 collar or what else? http://www.collarchat.com/m_187244/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#187244 Accepting a collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_184946/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#184946 Timeframe for a Collar? http://www.collarchat.com/m_177155/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#177155 collar (2) http://www.collarchat.com/m_165733/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#165733 collars http://www.collarchat.com/m_151638/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#151638 Collar Ceremony http://www.collarchat.com/m_150934/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#150934 Losing the Collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_132702/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#132702 From chat to collar http://www.collarchat.com/m_124898/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#124898 Wearing training collar in public http://www.collarchat.com/m_81449/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#81449 What are the collar types/levels please? http://www.collarchat.com/m_80281/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#80281 When is the right time to collar? http://www.collarchat.com/m_70392/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#70392 Collars and collaring http://www.collarchat.com/m_61337/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#61337 Collar conundrum? http://www.collarchat.com/m_59686/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#59686 Color of collars? http://www.collarchat.com/m_55592/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#55592 Collars when? http://www.collarchat.com/m_27368/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#27368 Kind of a collar question? http://www.collarchat.com/m_11451/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#11451 Collaring a submissive? http://www.collarchat.com/m_428/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#428 What is your definition of a training collar? http://www.collarchat.com/m_402/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#402 Multiple collars or single collar?

RavenMuse -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 10:00:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: phoenix41 I am new to the site and to the meaning behind a submissive wearing a collar. Let me explain.. Previously i have thought and still do that a girl wearing a collar looks extremely sexually attractive to me. However, i have met a submissive girl and when i asked if she would wear one for me during sex, she hesitated and asked me to find out from the message board what this actually means for someone like her.. please can all you subs give me advice on this thanks! OK some seem to be responding to you as her Dominant.... when you clearly state you are new to even the idea of a submissive... let alone to any thoughts as to wether you may or may not be a Dom.. In one sense, physicaly it is just a loop of material.... you know what else is just a loop of material? Wedding rings..... and what would the emotional responce be from many girls if you slipped one of those on their finger? That she stopped and asked you to go this route shows clearly that she DOESN'T just respond to it as a loop of material. It has a clear emotional resonance with her and that is likely to be tied in with OWNERSHIP to some degree or another. If you go that route, just be sure you are aware of the responcibilitys that go along with it and the work, even just on yourself, that you are about to undertake..... Hopefully the journey will be a rewarding one :)

hereyesruponyou -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 10:11:44 AM)
Play collars are for play only. For me these are used when scening with people with whom you do not have a permenant relationship. It is a sign of the agreement you have made to each other for the evening/weekend/etc. It seals this relationship and shows your trust in each other and understanding of each others requirements, desires and limits. When it comes off play is done. To be COLLARED, on the other hand is to make a significant committment to each other that transcends play or anything else. It is similar to marriage and should not be easily broken. Also just as taking off a wedding ring does not lessen the marriage committment, physically wearing a collar or not is just choice, it doesn't change the level of this relationship either. These opinions are entirely mine, based on my own experiences, and are not meant to influence anyone elses, k?

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 10:38:24 AM)
I have been in bdsm for too many years and still can count on 6 fingers the collars I have slipped around a pretty neck.. the online velcro collars isn't for us...I prefer after a year or two to offer a collar to a devote slave,metal for home and a pretty one for events.It doesn't make a damm what you wear around your neck if your heart isn't enslaved as well.DIANE is getting into making a wonderful round beaded collar for sell look for them soon on ebay ..bounty

BeachMystress -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 10:41:36 AM)
Some off site links germain to the issue. Collars and Traditions http://www.castlerealm.com/library/morecollars.shtml Collaring http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/sub_collars.php3 Collars Explained http://www.erotic-bdsm.net/Articles/The_Collar.html The Collar of Consideration http://www.steel-door.com/Consideration_Collar.html The Formal Collar http://www.steel-door.com/Formal_Collar.html The Training Collar http://www.steel-door.com/Training_Collar.html

ShiftedJewel -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 1:26:56 PM)
I agree with what so many others have said, what a collar means to you and her is up to you and her. For me and mine, a collar represents a deep commitment to each other and to the relationship. I wear a wedding ring to represent my marriage to my husband. All three of us wear a collar of sorts to represent our dedication to our relationship. *Jewel*

WhiplashSmile -> RE: collar's (3/5/2007 4:35:35 PM)
I would not hand out a collar to just anybody. It's the same thing as engagement or wedding ring. I wonder if they make sets of rings and collars together? MMmmm... interesting thought there...

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