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What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 6:24:43 PM

afeathr

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline

I received a message today that started me thinking... and perhaps this question has been asked before but here goes anyway. The message I received said exactly this (verbatim): "i must say , your words and pix do not seem submissive. this is by no means a criticism,not at all, just a casual observation"

My question is: What does a sub look / sound like? How do they carry themselves, and talk to others? Is there some sort of expectation when it comes to a subs personality or appearance?

Respectfully,

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

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RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 6:27:17 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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Sound to me like who ever wrote you was a sub hoping you were a dominant.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to afeathr)

Post #: 2

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 6:28:01 PM

afeathr

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline

I don't think so -- I think it was merely someone being curious, but it got me started thinking...

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afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

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RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 6:34:41 PM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline

I get told I don't look or sound submissive all the time. Probably because, as a general rule, I'm NOT submissive. My job doesn't allow for it. My livelihood revolves around controlling other people....My submissive side comes out in private :)

_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to afeathr)

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RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 6:37:20 PM

MasterGremlin

Posts: 230
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline

A sub looks, dresses and acts exactly like what his/her Dom/me says to.

Cordially,
minxy

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Post #: 5

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 6:38:21 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

They look just like serial killers. Meaning, like everyone else. LOL

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to afeathr)

Post #: 6

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 6:43:34 PM

outlier

Posts: 1111
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

Obviously the person who wrote that did have expectations.

Your words on your profile set definite limits. Your
pose in the photo shows a certain pride.

You were not what they were expecting or looking for.

It's not your responsibility to be what everyone is looking for.
And that is a good thing because it is not possible anyway.

Outlier

_____________________________

Avatar from xkcd.com

"A happy sex life may take years to achieve, but it’s worth it in the long run.
Worth the time, the thought - or rather, the thoughtfulness - and, often,
the waiting." Pete Seeger

(in reply to afeathr)

Post #: 7

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 6:51:28 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

JMO...

They look just like anyone else. There is no set of rules on appearances. It's who you are and what you are. It's an aura. sub/slave/Domme/Dom/Master/Mistress are all just labels.

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to afeathr)

Post #: 8

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 6:52:35 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: afeathr

My question is: What does a sub look / sound like? How do they carry themselves, and talk to others? Is there some sort of expectation when it comes to a subs personality or appearance?

Respectfully,

Daddy expects me to behave, act and speak as i normally would ...He's not the type of Dom whose goal is to change my personality and/or appearance only molding it to be better.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to afeathr)

Post #: 9

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 6:53:35 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

A submissive looks and sounds like you, a submissive looks and sounds like me..a submissive looks and sounds like any one who identifies as BEING submissive..different ways, different, thoughts, different attitudes but nonetheless, submissive..and many a Dominant thanks the gods for those differences...Tempting

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Post #: 10

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 6:55:48 PM

Inhibitor

Posts: 73
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

What does a gay person look/sound like?
What does an only child look/sound like?
People with a third nipple? Those who prefer pink, rather than black, peppercorns? If a sub farts in a movie theatre, how does it smell?

(in reply to outlier)

Post #: 11

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 6:58:01 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: afeathr

I received a message today that started me thinking... and perhaps this question has been asked before but here goes anyway. The message I received said exactly this (verbatim): "i must say , your words and pix do not seem submissive. this is by no means a criticism,not at all, just a casual observation"

My question is: What does a sub look / sound like? How do they carry themselves, and talk to others? Is there some sort of expectation when it comes to a subs personality or appearance?

Respectfully,

To me, this question is a lot like "What does a feminist look like?". I'm a feminist but I dream of wearing a collar. I have had people comment that I don't seem submissive. My only response to that is that they aren't my owner. Valyraen is and he is happy. That's really all I care about. Why would I put another's opinion on the matter before his?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to afeathr)

Post #: 12

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 7:00:50 PM

Piyush

Posts: 68
Joined: 8/3/2006
From: Toronto, ON, Canada
Status: offline

Above all, they all look like people. Just looks and a picture pose cannot convey much. Both can be misleading. The only way that I believe to work is to get to know the person.

Cheers
Piyush.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 13

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 7:08:29 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: afeathr
My question is: What does a sub look / sound like? How do they carry themselves, and talk to others? Is there some sort of expectation when it comes to a subs personality or appearance?

Excellent question.

A sub is between 5/7 and 5/11 (no more, no less).

They carry themselves well, but always exactly 7 feet 9 and 1/2 inches behind the Dom or Domme (if you assume there is some variance allowed in these numbers...you're only fooling yourself).

They don't talk to others. Actually...they don't talk. They've not only had their vocal chords removed...but also their sphincter. (I had mine removed when I was 9...but that was entirely unrelated to being sub).

Sound; Sometimes high pitched, sometimes low...it's more a factor of high or low pressure weather systems (see www.accuweather.com for more clarity).

Expectation as to appearance; Men, they are studly. Few men on the planet are as studly as these men. Women...delicious. Delectible in every way.

I hope this was in some way of some help.

(in reply to afeathr)

Post #: 14

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 7:17:21 PM

mp072004

Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

You get to agree to serve and obey one or more people without presenting submissively to the world at large. But there are submissive and dominant social behaviors. There are cues that you can use to present yourself as more authoritative, and, while I haven't thought systematically about it, it is quite possible that the behaviors that hinder the presentation of authority would assist in the presentation of deference.

Clear, articulate speech can signal dominance. Dominance for beginners: stand up straight, walk purposefully, chin up, look people in the eye. Speak slowly and deliberately, and enunciate syllables with some precision--but not exaggerated, of course. Lowering your voice may be helpful. "Command presence," even "stage presence" are terms that are often used. On looks, tall people are generally perceived as more dominant.

Doing the opposite of the above would make you present as less authoritative, and might make you seem more deferential. Professionally, I've thought about presenting myself as authoritative, and I've given people tips on developing a more dominant presence, but most people don't seem to need advice on how to be more deferential, so I haven't thought hard about it. I do know that apologizing is a deferential thing to do--it's fine to apologize and you can retain authority when you do so, but if you apologize a lot and when you haven't actually erred, you present as deferential. Difficulty meeting the eyes of a person, especially if it involves quick darting glances down and back up, might signal submissiveness--it's so in dogs. A demure or cute look could translate to submissiveness, while elegant and refined are adjectives that might describe an attractive look with overtones of dominance. There are ways to be quiet and project authority, and ways to be quiet and project deference--and ways to speak and project authority, and ways to speak and project deference--but this moves into "I know it when I see it," which won't help you, unfortunately.

Monica

(in reply to afeathr)

Post #: 15

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 7:20:36 PM

slavemaia

Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: afeathr

I received a message today that started me thinking... and perhaps this question has been asked before but here goes anyway. The message I received said exactly this (verbatim): "i must say , your words and pix do not seem submissive. this is by no means a criticism,not at all, just a casual observation"

My question is: What does a sub look / sound like? How do they carry themselves, and talk to others? Is there some sort of expectation when it comes to a subs personality or appearance?

Respectfully,

ha ha ha - okay - i'm in a rather playful mood so here goes. A sub is long and grey, and of course has a periscope and one often hears the words "all hands below" when in the presence of a sub. Oh - wait - a sub is long and doughey with stuff in the middle - anything from salami to tofu. Sometimes they're toasted, sometimes not. Oh no, wait - it's the person who stands in front of the class when the regular teacher is out.

Okay - i'll behave now - in other words a sub is whoever you are if you believe yourself to be a submissive. i was told MANY times i was not a sub let alone a slave by doms who either had some vision in their head of what i was supposed to look like and act like or were too insecure to handle anyone with some pepper in their personality. Trouble is for me until the right Master came along i honestly couldn't submit except on a very superficial level. It takes alot of trust to hand the responsibility for your well-being over to another person and the physical risks are the least in my book.

Submission is like the opening of the door to all my vulnerabilities and secrets. Ya honestly think i'm going to do that with the first blowhard that approches me? - nada. So - let em think what they think. You have the right to your own journey, in your own time and in your own way. And i think your pose is adorable - it can be read in MANY MANY different ways.

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to afeathr)

Post #: 16

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 7:21:25 PM

Elegant

Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

My question is: What does a sub look / sound like? How do they carry themselves, and talk to others? Is there some sort of expectation when it comes to a subs personality or appearance?

A modern sub is usually cigar shaped. This design, visible on very early subs is sometimes called a "teardrop hull". Most large subs today carry themselves by means of nuclear marine propulsion. Smaller subs still use diesel-electric propulsion. Subs 'talk' with others by sonic communication methods, VLF Radio waves, electromagnetic waves and, when not submerged, with sattelite radio.

_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to afeathr)

Post #: 17

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 7:27:23 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

quote:

My question is: What does a sub look / sound like? How do they carry themselves, and talk to others? Is there some sort of expectation when it comes to a subs personality or appearance?

A modern sub is usually cigar shaped. This design, visible on very early subs is sometimes called a "teardrop hull". Most large subs today carry themselves by means of nuclear marine propulsion. Smaller subs still use diesel-electric propulsion. Subs 'talk' with others by sonic communication methods, VLF Radio waves, electromagnetic waves and, when not submerged, with sattelite radio.

Thank you. There is now food on my keyboard...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Elegant)

Post #: 18

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 7:28:18 PM

MistressWolfen

Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline

oooooo I want one of those Elegant. Oh hang on us Canucks bought one from the Brits, damned thing sank before it left the harbour le'sigh.

_____________________________

Quoth the raven

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Post #: 19

RE: What does a sub look/sound like? - 3/5/2007 7:28:55 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: afeathr

I received a message today that started me thinking... and perhaps this question has been asked before but here goes anyway. The message I received said exactly this (verbatim): "i must say , your words and pix do not seem submissive. this is by no means a criticism,not at all, just a casual observation"

My question is: What does a sub look / sound like? How do they carry themselves, and talk to others? Is there some sort of expectation when it comes to a subs personality or appearance?

Respectfully,

What? You didn’t get the manual?
You must have an “s” tattooed on your forehead.
You must never take a picture of yourself standing up or wearing clothes.
You must never ever disagree with any identified dominant.
You have no needs or wants, no brains, opinions or ideas.
You never get tired.
Your knees/back/arms never get sore, your bruises magically heal within an hour, and you only bleed if the dominant commands it.
If you are really submissive, you can be drop-kicked from a second story balcony without breaking any bones because you would never inconvenience your dominant with the need for a trip to the emergency room.
You never age, gain weight or have a bad hair day.
You are:
Stupendously
Ultimately
Beautifully
Magically
Idiotic,
Servile,
Stupid,
Irrepressibly
Valiantly
Emotionless.
And never USE CAPITAL LETTERS!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to afeathr)

Post #: 20

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