I seek advice on how to improve... (Full Version)

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SubmissiveSissie -> I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 12:25:21 AM)

I was just wondering, why is it that I hardly receive any replies back on the profile section of the site? I just need some pointers or something on how to intrigue a  Mistress to want to reply to my emails. I put a lot of effort into my emails and show my sincereness, yet for some reason I guess I'm not doing something right, so if someone could please tell me help me out, I'd really appreciate it a lot.

Every Mistress seeks the perfect sub/slave, and then when I write to them, they don't give me the time of day. Very hard game....=p



FukinTroll -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 12:27:15 AM)

Will a Master do?



SubmissiveSissie -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 1:06:16 AM)

For advice? Sure why not, as long as you can apply it to a Woman point of view.



FukinTroll -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 1:14:38 AM)

Well normally I am human... does that count?



SubmissiveSissie -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 1:27:55 AM)

I'm......lost.



MsStick -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 3:00:02 AM)

you seek a serious relationship with a Mistress, but she must be 18-25 and accept only online...

you might view yourself as "perfect for the role of a sub/slave" but your limitations are, well, limiting.

Good luck.

Ms. Stick



BeautifulRacket -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 3:43:16 AM)

I see a few things that might be hurting your chances:

1) The 18-25 age range is very narrow. A lot of people don't find the lifestyle until they're out of that range, if only by a couple of years. So, think about how important that is to you, and adjust if you think you can live with the right Domme who's, say, 28 or 30, or older.

In that vein, I'm guessing your age is limiting your responses to some extent. If most Dommes are 25+, they may not be overexcited about someone who's 19 because a lot of change usually happens when we're in our 20s, and they may not think they'd have a lot in common with you. I'm not saying this is true for all Dommes, just that it's a possibility.

2) I don't search through profiles, but I don't recall seeing a lot (or any, really) Dommes looking for an online-only thing here. I'm sure they exist, but it seems like most people on this site are seeking real life encounters of some sort. Quite a few people, like me, don't see the point/appeal in relationships that won't lead to meeting in a tolerable amount of time, or have tried online or LD and found them to be a poor match.

I also have to wonder WHY you're limited to online-only as a single adult, and how/when you expect to move into real time, given that you say you're looking toward a 24/7 relationship in the future.

3) Your profile doesn't distinguish you from all of the horny guys looking to get off via cyberelationships. It doesn't show much personality, what type of woman you're looking for (specifically - other than "young CyberDomme"), and isn't particularly well-composed (which is important if the majority of your communication will be written; you get points for good spelling, though! [:D] ). Fill it out to show who you are and polish it up.

4) When someone says "I won't lie about..." it makes me wonder what they WILL lie about. If I were you, I'd take that sentence out, as it's unnecessary and could raise some questions. I'm sure you're very honest and just put it in because it ran through your head at the time, but I'm just giving you my impressions.

Other than those things, you haven't been here that long, and have to remember that most women are swimming in mail, especially when we're newer members. Even so, you should be putting in the most effort by reading profiles well and contacting women who appear to be good matces with well-written, personalized messages in an effort to interest and engage them in conversation.                                                                  

Good luck! [:)]



beachstoyboy -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 5:11:33 AM)

I'm going to be brutally honest and am sorry if it makes you feel bad or offends you as that is not the intent of this post. You asked for feedback and here it goes..

 After reading your profile, I'm not surprised you can't find a woman who wants to deal with you. Your profile gives no indication that you'd be a good submissive. You talk about what you want and how good you are, but you don't bother to back it up with anything substantive. I got the 'legend in his own mind" feeling when I read it. How can you know if you'd be perfect as sub material if you've never tried it? The entire profile screams to me, in flashing red letters, Newbie Who Has No Clue. It says to me you've not bothered to read up on the subject and think through the ramifications of actual service.

And how exactly do you expect to serve or please a woman online? Personally, when someone asks me if I'll Domme them online, my feeling about him is that he is a user who wants to use me to get his rocks off. There is nothing in it for ME!  Am I supposed to get all happy because you let me view your webcam and role play giving you orders till you decide to switch things off because you have other things to do? How does a Dominant have any real power or control over someone who can hit the off switch and make them go away? Pretend control just doesn't do it for me or for any Domme I know.

Finally, while there are a few women who do Domme online, they are rare and far between. Your age range of 18 to 25 year olds are some of the most active online Domme, but you are not what most of those seek. The perfect sub for many of those women are men with disposable income, which at 19 is unlikely to be you.

The bottom line is that the women do not answer you because they don't feel you are nearly as perfect a candidate as you think yourself to be. I suggest you rethink your approach or your age limit. I know sissy men can sometimes be very sensitive and I am sorry if this hurts your feelings. Sometimes, we have to be blunt to open some one's eyes.  I suggest you also do some reading before you resume searching.

http://www.femalesincontrol.com/courtship.htm

http://gloria-brame.com/domidea/dompoe.htm

http://www.femdomdating.com/

http://gloria-brame.com/domidea/subper.htm

http://www.malesubmission.com/faq/index.htm

http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html

http://www.castlerealm.com/
http://www.wizdomme.com/infopack/




BeachMystress -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 5:13:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beachstoyboy


The above post is NOT by my husband, but by myself. I forgot he'd been logged in earlier reading forums. I'm sorry for any confusion caused.



DisirUrdsFylgja -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 5:26:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Well normally I am human... does that count?


Troll, use your lesbian side
To give him an answer he will abide.



BeachMystress -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 5:31:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Well normally I am human... does that count?

Damn Troll.... you're HUMAN? You just burst my bubble. *goes to bed, perchance to dream of a REAL troll* 



onestandingstill -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 7:03:03 AM)

Even male slaves with tons of references, experience and sexual prowess find it hard to find a mistress.
It seems like 100 male subs to every 1 good Mistress to me in here to start with.

The fact you're brand new AND a virgin AND seeking only online, is hard enough to contend with, but in addition to say you want 24/7 without explaining how to get from cyber land to Real time in between leaves me wondering if you have a clue what you really want.
You say you send these detailed open messages, but you really have nothing personal in your profile. For Example you mention no hobbies, nothing about what skills you have, desires in your life you have, or what sort of specific things you'd want to do with someone in your life that has control over you.
I'd also recommend explaining how you found BDSM, how you think you feel about that more than I've always felt like a sissy, and like others said how you desire to serve.

Even then you'll have to take a massive dose of patience and severe effort to find someone who'd interact with you due to the shortage of available Mistresses.

Basically the best advice I can give you is the same I use to give myself daily as I too have no one who owns me to serve and I felt I needed that like I need air.
What I found is trying to force a fit where one's close only hurts you and the other person, settling for the wrong one hoping you can make it work seldom works, and you just have to have patience that if it's meant to be it will come when it's supposed to come and not one second before.
suzanne



DiannaVesta -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 7:25:01 AM)

I agree with what was already said here but will elaborate.
 
18-25? Not to speak for everyone but women that age are still discovering who they are. Yes there is the exception but it’s rare. The other thing is that you’re a sissy or so it says in your profile. You also have no experience.  I think you should try seeking out a more mature, experienced mistress willing to train you. I highly doubt any woman; unless she too is a complete novice will agree to cyber only. I know I wouldn’t unless I was getting paid. That’s just me.



hereyesruponyou -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 10:42:09 AM)

First let me say the answers given already state the problems with your profile/attitude, etc quite well.

But i would like to commend you on asking what you are doing wrong. It's a big first step to accept that you are the problem....



Mysti -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 11:35:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta

I agree with what was already said here but will elaborate.
 
18-25? Not to speak for everyone but women that age are still discovering who they are.


Absolutely correct. I'm 25 myself and only now realizing what I am. A Dominant fetishist moreso than a lifestyler.

Best advice I can give from personal experience is research reaserch research. talk to other subs, talk to Mistresses, talk to Troll! He's a smart guy with alot to say, and most of it is sound.

Make sure you talk about WHY you only want cyber. Do you still live at home? etc etc etc. I think you need some mentoring and learning before service. Online and RT are too different beasts

Good luck! I give you many a gold star for coming to people and asking for assistance



SubmissiveSissie -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 1:10:25 PM)

I'm definitely not hurt by anything said in this topic. I asked for answers and thats what you gave me, so its all constructive critisizm to me.

Thanks for the replies.



thetammyjo -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 1:49:44 PM)

Have you looked into nearby or local scene communities? Munches, supportive or educational groups, party groups, other such things?

If you are over 21+ should be zero problem to get into the events. If you are between 18-20 then you may need to search a bit more cause some groups feel a "need" for age limits beyond the legal requirements.

Any attitude you get for being younger, try to remember that you 1) aren't alone in that experience and 2) older people get the same crap. Ageism both ways is alive and well in the world.

Last time I checked, BDSM functioned within the world.



mp072004 -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 6:30:53 PM)

This thread is about your difficulties receiving responses to emails that you send to people whose profiles you find attractive, yes? I am finding it very difficult to critique your emails without knowing what they look like.

Monica



bacchas -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/6/2007 7:38:55 PM)

I don't get a lot of responces either. About 5%, even fewer last more than a couple of e-mails. But you can't let it get you down. It's like job hunting. You can send hundreds of apps out and people rarely respond their either. My guess it's because it the impersonal nature of...personals.



MsStick -> RE: I seek advice on how to improve... (3/8/2007 11:42:35 AM)

And yet your profile hasn't changed any?



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