RE: submissive?

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Mustardseed -> RE: submissive? (3/7/2007 6:06:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BobtheSubBuilder e) started on the pill because i suggested she think about it (when she told me she said i had told her) ok P/peeps - thoughts and comments? advice on how to proced would be nice. The part I put into emphasis really worries me, because at best it sounds like her communication, particularly listening, skills need some serious help. At worst, she's a liar and you've just seen the first hint of it. You might want to look at a U.K. website called Taken in Hand. It seems to be a lifestyle male-dominance, female-submissiveness website for people who insist that they're not kinky. It sounds to me like she's leaning more towards this sort of thing, which involves the man making the decisions and involving corporal punishment into daily life ... but not actual play. Good luck!

BobtheSubBuilder -> RE: submissive? (3/7/2007 7:05:51 AM)
Cheers ill take a look at that site, tbh though - though shes enjoyed the corporal punishment as part of a 'game' im not entirely sure she 'needs' it on any level (aware or not) - saying that, from phone convos i suspect she would umm i think the word is 'expect' some kind of punishment if she was naughty in some way, perhaps being sent to bed or corner time or being told she cant have a particular treat - if that progress's to other forms of physical punishment then so be it but it would be a long and subtle transition - prolly starting with calling her 'girl' instead of 'katie' - 'girl, thats enough, no choclate for you tonight!'

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: submissive? (3/7/2007 7:13:46 AM)
all i can say is - wow, she really roped and tied you in a matter of hours. i would advise that you take the nilla date slow and watch out for those flags. she sounds too good to be true in my opinion however something about her screams: Danger, Will Robinson! (sorry about the Lost In Space reference). again my opinion, it seems she might have abused and could be confusing this abuse as being a submissive.

SweetSarijane -> RE: submissive? (3/7/2007 7:47:01 AM)
My impressions from reading the OP are that she's in sub frenzy, all excited about all this and wanting to jump straight in with both feet and damn the consequences, and you seem to be a little frenzied too, thinking you may have found the perfect one. My advice would be for both of you to slow down and get to know each other as people first. Take it for what it's worth and do with it what you will. I wish you the best.

BobtheSubBuilder -> RE: submissive? (3/7/2007 1:17:37 PM)
well i did have a long post i was gonna put on here from work - but its moot now - i spoke to her on the phone and told her she was coming on too strong and trying too hard and she hung up and removed me from her free call list - i guess then its over befoe it began [shrugs] ah well prolly for the best - so much of this didnt feel right back to the drawing board

KatyLied -> RE: submissive? (3/7/2007 1:29:28 PM)
You may want to take this opportunity to investigate some topics: codependence dependent personality disorder And you may not have heard the last from her. Remember, she's already made big changes in her life for you.

BobtheSubBuilder -> RE: submissive? (3/7/2007 2:39:26 PM)
well shes hopeless - couldnt find her arse with both hands - its not like she will track me down

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: submissive? (3/7/2007 2:48:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BobtheSubBuilder well shes hopeless - couldnt find her arse with both hands - its not like she will track me down You're not really showing us anything to brag about yourself you know- you were all googly-eyed about this publicly until you decided to end it and now it's suddenly all insults. Not at all attractive in a possible mate.

BeingChewsie -> RE: submissive? (3/7/2007 3:01:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs My two cents? Runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn bitch run! We've got a stage ten clinger. LOL!! Exactlyyyyyyyyyyyy

SoCalOTKhristine -> RE: submissive? (3/7/2007 8:52:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne As was said earlier, "Hide The Bunny", what she has is the potential to be a lunatic. Then again from the other side I would worry about you. I would think long and hard about being involved with anyone who would just so casually start tossing their ex's info around on a message board like this. Hey maybe you two are perfect for one another. K I was thinking the very same thing...hmmm

BobtheSubBuilder -> RE: submissive? (3/8/2007 4:34:24 AM)
lol googly eyed? did i really come across as that excited about her? maybe i should have posted what i had written yesterday when the network was down. I do tend to write with alot more humor than seriousness at times so if i came across as nasty then i appologise - however she is a phyc student so therefore had working in hospitals for years and studied as a med student for several years before choosing a speciality. She got kicked in the head this week and ended up having to have a lumbar puncture to relieve pressure on her brain 1) she couldnt pronounce it 2) she didnt know what it was 3) didnt know it it would hurt or not i - like many others i suspect - have picked up that knowlege from watching medical dramas, the fact that she didnt get all this info from the doctors performing the procedure or even know what it was from her studies and experience would tend to suggest something about her, dont you think? Also ive spoken to her - she has a frightening lack of knowledge about, umm well everything really - anyone who knows who Jade from 'big brother' is will know exactly the sort of person katie is - lovely in many ways but also frighteningly ignorant and frustrating in other ways - i personaly felt that my comment was slightly less insulting than saying she had low intelligence, low interest in the world outside her own immedate experience, and little to offer on an intelectual level to someone who was at least 'moderately well read'. Anyway my point was that although what i said was perhaps unkind it was accurate not intended to insult her - she said her self she 'wasnt academic' i was trying to soften the blow with humor but apparently it was not to everyones taste, it was not meant with a hint of venom or spite - the major part of my hesitation about this girl was the worry we had very little to talk about and also it added a touch of worry that she really didnt know what she was doing when she gave herself to me so readily - i did actually text her and tell her that next time she should go a lil slower and not try so hard - she frightened me but a lesser man would have used her and spit her out - she may not have lit my fire but i still wouldnt want her hurt again in the future i honestly wish her well and hope she matures rapidly for her own sake

BobtheSubBuilder -> RE: submissive? (3/8/2007 4:40:49 AM)
would it have been better if i had called her a 'redneck' or 'not the sharpest tool in the box' ? no - she is lovely, but also hopeless. thats just the way it is.

BobtheSubBuilder -> RE: submissive? (3/8/2007 7:53:47 AM)
Perhaps i didn't make myself clear - perhaps some here are simply jaded in there view of people new to this thing, that anyone who hasn't had years of experience must be giddy and prone to 'frenzy' and 'googly eyes' lol (please don't let anyone interpret my tone as disrespect there is just part of this which makes me smile broadly). I know this means nothing to anyone who hasn't actually met me in the flesh or spoken on the phone or indeed communicated with me in anyway for a decent length of time, but, i am possibly the least giddy and googly eyed person you will ever meet and to be thought of as a behaving like a silly teen amuses me greatly. I was never like that - even when i WAS a teen lol. Ive always considered things at great length before jumping in and do recognize that others have more experience and that to ask for advice and comments makes wiser than an individual who just assumes he has all the answers. I am fully aware of my lmitations and lack of experience, it is why i post here at all! I realize that there are some people who just like to poke fun or ridicule for reasons of there own and it is prolly some right of passage as 'the new boy' to expect some ridicule and thats fine. However just so we can be clear on this when i am excited ill use phrases like 'woo' and 'im excited'. When i think Ive found a good potential girl ill say 'i think Ive found a good potential girl'. I'm funny like that, i tend to say what i mean, I'm direct and honest, sometimes sarcastic, sometimes dry in my humor but very rarely to i mean to insult anyone - when i do you will spot it lol. Those of you who have looked at my profile will see it is now blank - i should perhaps put some small note in there but essentially it is blank for a reason, I'm not sure what it is I'm looking for other than guidance, to work out exactly what it is a do want and then work on getting it. There is a reason this post is phrased as a question - i could see potential but i had my doubts or 'red flags' (on both D/s and vanilla levels) and wanted input from the more experienced. I'm looking for input, constantly at this stage - and even RL guidance from either an experienced sub or Dom (as i think i could learn from either). Not even participation really just conversation and observation. Anyway, i do tend to ramble but i hope now my position is clearer, and that others might respect my quest for knowledge and advice without trying to poke holes in me at every turn.

littleone35 -> RE: submissive? (3/8/2007 2:43:11 PM)
Well from reading all you wrote it is for the best. You two were not a match. At least it ended before you got more emotionally involved then you already were. Matt's littleone

MagiksSlave -> RE: submissive? (3/8/2007 6:05:22 PM)
I want to know what she is doing studying medacine if she isnt all that bright sounds kinda odd to me.. I dont assosiated Dr's or psyciatrists even therapists with dim bulbs and if she is as hopeless as you made her seem well how in the world would she make it in that kind of courses.. Im a psyc major myself while I cant spell Im very bright and do rather well in my classes but they arent for people who arnt "academic" maybe she wasnt beeing so honest with you after all Magik's slave

BobtheSubBuilder -> RE: submissive? (3/9/2007 12:44:45 AM)
MS i know what you mean my dear, im rather free and lose with my spelling and my typing leaves alot to be desired, partly coz of my bear paws partly coz of a lack of fine feeling in my left hand i also tend to use words like 'coz' simply because im used to having to reply quickly to make a typed convo flow smoothly. However apparently i have an IQ of 137, although i suck at absorbing information intensionally (from a book) im constantly sucking in numbers and facts in what is frankly an annoying manner (who needs to know that bambo is actually a variety of grass (garden type, dont start smoking it!) and some species grow 6 inches a day - so fast that they were used as torture devices in ancient china (apparently strapped down sat on one) i mean who needs to know that! ) in katies case she apparently makes up for her shortcomings with determination, apparently shes very good at the practical stuff just falls down on the learning, but yes i agreeit seemed wrong - like so much else - i certainly wouldnt want her as my shrink - not that i need one......

MagiksSlave -> RE: submissive? (3/9/2007 7:06:42 PM)
Honeslty I dont think she was beeing truethfull on any of this with you.. she was taking you on a little ride adn got angry when you got off befor she wanted it to be over.. Just my take. Magik's slave

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