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RE: when YOU were a green Master - 4/19/2007 9:19:27 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I am just glad I began my training in the womb as if you don't get started right, it is so hard to get into the right BDSM kindergarden.

(in reply to TigerNINTails)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: when YOU were a green Master - 4/19/2007 9:32:09 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I am just glad I began my training in the womb as if you don't get started right, it is so hard to get into the right BDSM kindergarden.

LOL!! now that was funny!


_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: when YOU were a green Master - 4/19/2007 10:43:22 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		I do not see this as topping from the botton.  I do not see where you have indicated you are attempting to manipulate your Dom to do anything, rather you are simply offering the knowledge you have for him to use however and whenever he wishes.
I see nothing wrong in this.  Even if you are with someone with experience there are chances you have knowledge or experience in something he may not.  Why not pass on the information.
This can also be seen as indicating your preferences, again that does not mean he must do whatever it is you have offered.  The final decision will and should lie with him as to what he choses to do or not with/to you.

Over all if it works for you and your Dom/Top/Master where is the harm?

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: when YOU were a green Master - 4/19/2007 10:52:24 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

When you were a new Master, were your relations open like this?


I firmly intend to always be like this.

Just because I'm a Dom doesn't mean that I'm infallible, have inexhaustable creativity, a direct mental link to the collective knowledge pool of BDSM, or don't appreciate some level of social interaction when such is desired, appropriate or necessary.

Besides, it saves me a lot of time. There's always more to learn.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do." -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: when YOU were a green Master - 4/19/2007 11:08:46 PM   
smcontrol


Posts: 33
Joined: 4/9/2007
Status: offline 		What a great thread question!

In my case I was fortunate in that the first girl I found was waaaay more in touch with desire to submit than I was in my awakening desire to control and use and enjoy.  She'd say things like "please don't make me ________" and of course the next time we were together I'd totally "make" her.   I was only twenty nothing at the time and thought all of it was about sex and only about sex because, well, I was twenty.

Having a penis it took a while for me to comprehend that there was so much more than the sexual but I have always found an open conversation with the girl I was with (the many thousands) to be a great way to explore what D/s was going to mean to the two of us. Even an almost scripted sexual fantasy is perfectly wonderful coming from the slave because it opens up a lot about where her sexuality is to be found.

The worst I would think would be so open with each other as to want to base a lifestyle on a D/s model and then suddenly get shy about what that really means to her.

Her's to slaves who get who they are and can communicate it!

_____________________________

Michael

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills."


Ernest Hemingway, 1929




(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: when YOU were a green Master - 4/19/2007 11:21:16 PM   
m0rgan


Posts: 403
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

this Q stems off from a comment to my previous thread.

to summarize, a fellow slave finds it curious that i suggest ideas to my Master, as far as what we do/play/protocol anything you can think of. Since i am my Masters first slave, and i posess most of the free time for reading/education it is not unusual to share what i learn that day, be it wether i heard about a slave only being granted what her Master does not eat, or financial control.

When you were a new Master, were your relations open like this?

i have heard of mentors for Masters, and mine had found one, but things didnt work out. i find set standards most of the time dont work.

what type of methods did you use as a new Master? were slaves insights welcome?

i think this is a good method and considering our specific type of relationship [both new, both loving, both curious]


i am currently blundering my way through an initial online relationship, in the early stages, and with a more experienced lady than me - i am anxious not to bollocks it up through ignorance or lack of insight! this thread is very useful to me, and i am indeed grateful to mixielicious for starting it. i will pay much attention to this thread. 10 housepoints to you, mixielicious!

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: when YOU were a green Master - 4/19/2007 11:55:48 PM   
Boucanier


Posts: 48
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline 		Like M0rgan, I'm green as a Dom and blessed with a sub (online for now, hopefully more soo) who has far more experience than I.  But while I'm green as a Dom, I'm not THAT inexperienced.  I've called myself a switch for a long time, but truth be told, most of my experience has been as a sub.  Sure, I'd dally with trying to Dom, but it never held my attention or gave me the same kind of fullfilment and pleasure, until I met my little one.  Her submission was almost forced on  me -- she kept offering myself, I kept declining, until... well, honestly, I don't know what changed, but in an instant a switch was thrown in me, and nothing's ever felt more right.

A lot of what works for us is trial and error, some of it comes intuitively for me (she'll tell you how she marvels at my instinctive measures), and I feel that my experience as a sub gives me insight that a pure Dominant who's never submitted doesn't have/  But she also contributes a great deal of input, and I greatly appreciate it.  Yes, the ultimate decision is mine, but I'd be a fool not to weigh all evidence before "rendering a verdict".  I'm of the school of thought that this is the way I always want it to be -- I view her submission to me as a gift she has given me, without reservation, and it is only as valuable as the submissive giving it.  It is because she is beautiful, and alive, and expressive, and oh yes, very intelligent, that it means anything to me for her to be mine.  And if my possession is so useful, how stupid would I be not to use every useful part of her -- including her intelligence?  In fact on numerous occasions, I can tell by her exclamations when she realizes that she's just provided me with a poweful tool for keeping her in line.

(in reply to m0rgan)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: when YOU were a green Master - 4/20/2007 12:07:52 AM   
m0rgan


Posts: 403
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

Even if he knew every technique under the sun, I would still be an expert on something he didn't know and needs to. Me. I am the world's expert on me. I've been me all my life and I know better than anyone else how I am likely to respond to things. So anyone who was too insecure to learn about me from the only expert there is, is not someone I would ever care to be with.

As it happens, I am on kink sites much more than him so I'm much more likely to see something that sparks an interest. He has no problem looking at a link I send him and deciding if he wants to do it immediately, if he never wants to, or if he's unsure until he learns more about it. He'd be pretty damn foolish to refuse to look at a new tie just because I stumbled across it and he didn't. And he isn't foolish at all.


this view coincides exactly with how i think things would fit me, and mine, and ours! i reserve the right to change that view, but thank you celeste43 for expressing it so well. i feel the need to check you out, now!


_____________________________


download this, the girls voice will make you damp--->

http://www.saab.com/main/GLOBAL/en/download_release_me.shtml


a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou,
beside me, in the wilderness, were paradise enough!

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: when YOU were a green Master - 4/20/2007 4:29:27 AM   
TigerNINTails


Posts: 178
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I am just glad I began my training in the womb as if you don't get started right, it is so hard to get into the right BDSM kindergarden.


ROFL Sooooo, soooo sarcastic! Some people pull that off flawlessly... I love it though, when it comes across perfect.

Peace.

Tora


_____________________________

Consistent Discipline Renders Punishment Unnecessary

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: when YOU were a green Master - 4/20/2007 6:12:52 PM   
ExtremeOwnerIL


Posts: 197
Joined: 10/19/2006
Status: offline 		I value my property's ideas, suggestions, experiences and even wants/desires. They are given to me with the knowledge that I will do with them as I want. She's an extremely intelligent and insightful woman and I treasure that.

At the same time, I don't feel like her putting forth ideas threatens her position as a slave - she wishes to serve me. Part of that service is to assist, to give and share. There's nothing more important to me than that openness.

When I was new, I think I tended to believe the 'hype' and see such things as topping from the bottom, or power struggles. Now, with experience, I see how foolish I was. An old dog can learn new tricks!




_____________________________

Some of my thoughts on Ownership:

http://extremeowner.blogspot.com/

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: when YOU were a green Master - 4/21/2007 2:04:21 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous

When you were a new Master, were your relations open like this?

They still are, good ideas are good ideas regardless of where they come from. 
 

quote:

what type of methods did you use as a new Master? were slaves insights welcome?

When I was first starting out I was like a sponge.  I listened more than I talked to pretty much everyone.  I read whatever I could get my hands on.  I also looked outside the lifestyle for ideas and information (like drawing on my background in psychology).  I wanted to know as much about submissives as I did dominants, I wanted to understand both.  I knew who I was as a dominant, what I wanted, but understanding submissives was often a mystery too me at first, that took some time to understand.  Sometimes I got bad info, and in one case I recall I got very painfully taken advantage of by someone I thought was a friend (ended up costing me a relationship).  But I learned from all of it, even if it was only learning what not to do or who not to trust.  I also learned to trust myself most of all, trust in my own judgement.  If something was working for me, screw what everyone else thought... turns out millions of people can be wrong.  But I also learned to never stop listening or learning.  I can be wrong too, and sometimes I still am.  You find a balance between being very confident in yourself, but also being confident enough not to be threatened by new ideas or methods.  Most of all, I just kept trying, kept working at it, learning, improving and building in my experiences.  Like anything it takes time and practice.    


_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: when YOU were a green Master - 5/1/2007 12:28:14 AM   
m0rgan


Posts: 403
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		i may be "green" until the day i die. very well done to all those that know everything!!

_____________________________


download this, the girls voice will make you damp--->

http://www.saab.com/main/GLOBAL/en/download_release_me.shtml


a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou,
beside me, in the wilderness, were paradise enough!

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: when YOU were a green Master - 5/1/2007 1:50:10 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mixielicous



to summarize, a fellow slave finds it curious that i suggest ideas to my Master, as far as what we do/play/protocol anything you can think of. Since i am my Masters first slave, and i posess most of the free time for reading/education it is not unusual to share what i learn that day, be it wether i heard about a slave only being granted what her Master does not eat, or financial control.



That's pretty much how our relationship works. I'm the one with the free time and I'm the one with the most interest in research. So I'm the one who does it. I'd remind the fellow slave that it's not what she find curious that matters, it's what pleases your master that matters.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: when YOU were a green Master - 5/1/2007 2:51:00 AM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline 		i'm with AquaticSub on this. my Mate is the bread-winner, i am the bed-maker...and this pleases Him ; )        Phoenix

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: when YOU were a green Master - 5/1/2007 9:06:51 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		My girls insights are welcome now, let alone back a couple of decades ago when I first started.

Information is information and that information is even more applicable because she will have her own reasons for wanting to bring it to My attention and thus I learn not only more about the subject but about My girl.

Only the insecure would see being given information as a 'problem', the decision as to what to do about that information is still Mine


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 55
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