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ownedgirlie -> RE: Hair Pulling (3/7/2007 7:20:02 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
quote:
Merc, you're a fucking New Yorker, are you trying to tell me that your mood doesn't change? That some days you aren't the indifferent "I have seen it all" urbanite and others you want to suck every drop of experience out of life?
Mike,
Are you stereotyping me now that we've had a chance to talk?
I'll tell you what was going through my mind when I made that post and it has nothing to do with "mood".
When we chatted yesterday we both agreed that, although there is a place and activity where "head bobbers" are fun to have around, it is far more educational and intellectually stimulating to debate issues where you are in disagreement. I took this thread as a opportunity to test my strong belief that it is damn difficult if not nearly impossible to have a 24/7 Master/slave relationship dynamic while the submissive serves anther "master". The definition of "master" assumed to be a commitment, such as schooling, job, career, family, that takes priority over the "Master" in the M/s relationship.
Posts to this thread seem to support that contention. The best direct example;with the on-point statements high-lighted::
quote:
ownedgirlie: ...in reply to your question of living as I am, this is why I do envy those slaves who can stay at home and focus solely on serving their Masters. Part of my serving means excelling at work, which means managing projects and people...part of my serving means excelling in school which means researching and holding my instructors to what they promise. Since I am required to stand as an equal to others yet to be small before him, there can be internal conflict to deal with, and when I am in his presence the real me breathes this huge sigh of relief as the other persona washes away. Hard to explain. So no, these actions do not "trigger" my submission - my submission to him is always there. But when life is spinning around me, they sometimes seem to bring me back home to him.
There was no "qualitative" good/better/best and no reference to "real" or "true" in my questioning post. I wanted a challenge or perspective to come up that I didn't consider in coming to my opinion that a mind, inherently distracted by outside commitments and responsibilities, is a major hurdle to maintaining a 24/7 mindset.
Before beth, in contemplation of such a relationship, I felt I would be setting the slave up for failure if I expected her to be always of a submissive mindset, but have a dominant persona required to master another part of her life. I knew what I wanted and would demand. As much as I required a strong, confident, and intelligent partner; I selfishly wanted all that focused on me. I wanted the "surrender" to mean something, and have value to her. Once I confirmed that it existed and she understood her responsibilities as well as mine, I acted upon my assumption. My opinion is that our relationship works because we planned to succeed, and a big part of that was that beth would only need to focus on serving one Master - Me. Nothing I have observed, read, or heard about has moved me to change my position.
Sure moods change, a person and a couples dynamic is not static. Once self realization is obtained and you identify as a submissive the process has not ended. It really has just started. In my case, I always encourage and facilitate the process of beth "going deeper". The reality is the relationship also goes deeper, and I along with it. Some days the progress occurs in inches, some days much more progress is made. In either case, if an outside 'master' resulted in even one spoonful of progress to be lost it would be counter productive to our goal. Better to remove the possibility and as a result, require fewer "triggers".
Hi Merc,
I must admit I was taken a bit aback to see my post used as your evidence (for lack of a better word) of how a Master/slave relationship CAN'T work. But I realize that is your view as M/s pertains to you. My Master certainly realizes the difficulties I face, and in fact I know part of him actually enjoys watching me struggle to meet all of his demands. But, as you can imagine, his perspective and desire is different than yours. He loves to watch me ride rough-shod to the rest of the world and fall to the floor at his feet. THAT is what makes my submission ever more special to him. Different taste buds prefer different flavors, I suppose. All I can say is that despite my struggle, the look of pride in his eye, and the sound in his voice makes every bead of sweat I suffered worth it ten times over. So, how wonderful for both you and my beloved Master that you both are getting exactly what you set out for. [:)]
On a seperate note, it is a shame I won't get to meet you and your wonderful beth next month. Please keep me on your contact list, if you would, for that CA-CM gathering you mentioned.
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