RE: What exactly IS BDSM etc?

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RE: What exactly IS BDSM etc? - 3/11/2007 7:05:18 AM

domiguy

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Joined: 5/2/2006
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bdsm is exactly what I think it is! Anyone who thinks it is something different is wrong...It's all so easy.

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RE: What exactly IS BDSM etc? - 3/11/2007 10:10:37 AM

TNDom46

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I don't often post on here, but on this one I can't resist. When we, as a group, "define ourselves", or try to narrow ourselves down to a "common denominator", aren't we going to be excluding part of "us"? What makes any group a large group is diversity within the group. To some in may be absolutely shocking to know that there are some people in the collar me world who have no desire for pain, giving or recieving. To others the idea of a cuckold relationship, a man wearing women's clothing, or a man/woman having sex with someone of the same sex, is revolting. According to many of the posts that I have read in here people who are just here for the kinky sex don't belong. Some would like to limit this site to only those who want a 24/7 power exchange.

It is beyond my comprehension how such an open minded group of people can somehow be so closed minded to others. When I say this I am referring to the BDSM group as a whole, not just to the collar me crowd and certainly not to any particular post in this thread. We need to be excepting of others, that's what we desire from those who judge us. Isn't it? I think one of the biggest downfalls of other minorities is division with in the group itself. By minorities I am not referring to race, I am simply referring to groups that are outside the majority.

I say welcome to all. I say here is a place where you will not be judged as some kind of pervert. I try to be just as accepting of your fetish, or your interpretation of the lifestyle as I hope you will be of mine.

I like the idea of the OP, it is a very thought provoking post (it had to be to get me to chime in), and one that should draw a lot of varied opinions. Mine is but one, but it is mine.

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RE: What exactly IS BDSM etc? - 3/11/2007 10:18:08 AM

justmi

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Joined: 8/27/2006
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Ok now I have to chime in. I think the only common denominator is that we judge others fetishes and or kinks less harshly. I mean I see some intolerance but by and far put the same kinks out in the vanilla world and see the level of judgement. I do agree we need to be more accepting of others, but for me that holds true in and out of "the lifestyle".

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RE: What exactly IS BDSM etc? - 3/12/2007 7:23:01 AM

SirDominic

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Joined: 11/22/2006
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TND, I think you are missing the point. Defining terms has nothing to do with tolerance or lack thereof. Someone can say they are whatever they want to say they are, and my attitude is live and let live. Definitions are not about limiting anyone's interpretation, it is about having a base set of definitions that others can alter to their own desires.

Yes, everyone has the right to define terms to their own satisfaction. And their terms may be true for themselves. They may or may not be true to reality. My example of monogamy above, for example. Said person has a right to believe that they are living a monogamous lifestyle; the reality, by the accepted definition of the term, is that they are not.

daddysprop makes a pertinent point. How can we discuss anything about fetish if no two people can agree on what a term means? The results are plain on this board every day; we spend more time on debating the OP's meaning, giving our own variants of that meaning, to the point that any deep discussion is lost in the clutter.

To quote her directly: there is still an endless potential of possibilities, paths, belief systems we all can follow while still having a universal understanding that cat=feline mammal and not purple volkswagen, simply because one person says this is so.

This, to my mind is THE core of the problem.
Namaste, Sir Dominic

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