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mistoferin -> Redneck Dungeon (3/31/2005 4:17:38 AM)
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You Might Be In A Redneck Dungeon If:
(Unfortunately, some of these ring TOO true! LOL)
1. Toys are displayed in wall-mounted gun racks.
2. The dungeon masters are Bubba and Bobbi Sue.
3. The hostess has bigger hair than Roseanne's ass.
4. The suspension rings are hung on the deer's antlers.
5. The neural wheel is missing a few teeth.
6. The interrogation chair is the rusted seat from a '68 Ford pickup.
7. The cage is already occupied... by a pair of tick hounds.
8. There's an engine, lawn mower, pink flamingo and rusted patio furniture
scattered through out the play area.
9. The floor covering is hubcaps.
10. The suspension cuffs are foam beer can covers.
11. The branding irons have the same Flying
~W~ as on the cow that was tied to the porch railing.
12. Coffee cans are strategically located on the floor to collect spit.
13. The host refers to 'Y'all dominates and yer li'l critters'.
14. There is tobacco juice running down the sides of the candles.
15. There's a transmission in the body sling.
16. The spreader bars are made from the axles of the same '68 Ford that
the interrogation chair came from.
17. When the Dom drives up in his pickup truck, his dog is lying in the front seat, but his sub is riding in the dog-box in the truck bed.
18. Humiliation play is having to wear a Jeff Gordon t-shirt... and you're a Dale Jr. fan.
19. The Dom's favourite scene outfit is a pair of leather overalls and a John Deere cap.
20. The safeword is "cut it out or I'm tellin' Ma."
21. A pair of pink flamingos brighten the dungeon decor.
22. The Dom intimately remembers the names of the cows which supplied most
of His leather for His toys and outfit.
23. The slave refers to her Master as Daddy, because he really is.
24. Most of the canes look like recycled fishing poles.
25. The bull whip was actually used on bulls.
26. At least one of the suspension scenes involve an engine hoist.
27. There's as least one piece of unfinished dungeon equipment still on cinder blocks.
28. The Dungeon music is mostly Country.
29. The Dom's favorite paddle is the same one his daddy used to use.
30. The fetish video library includes a copy of Deliverance.
31. Most of the slaves are related to their Masters.
32. The tube of lube is made by Quaker State.
33. Toilet training has to be done outside the dungeon.
34. The restraints and chains were purchased at the local military surplus store.
35. At least one piece of dungeon furniture is all black with the number 3 on it.
36. You are being flogged to the sound of dueling banjos.
37. You hear a slave refer to her Master as Boss Hogg.
38. "Wal-mart is now closing" is acceptable as a safeword.
(author unknown)
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