RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme

RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (Full Version)

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GuidingLite -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/10/2007 2:29:39 PM)
i see pros as business people provideing a needed/wanted service not unlike a plumber or electrician or even a cab driver. They are not in it to make friends at least not at first. friendships do come out of a professional relationship though. But look somewhere else for freinds. pro Dommes are smart enough to realize the fact,that male submissives are in over supply to the point where price is a non factor. i have no problem with Pro Dommes, and let's face it.....we are not talking about Doms......male subs cannot find enough female Tops within this lifestyle because most of the women in BDSM are bottoms, and the female Tops can easily be very selective regardless of relationship status. But Pro-Dommes are people, some are great, some mediocre, some are bad.

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/10/2007 10:38:35 PM)
I have emailed the ones who in there profile say they seek friends and some that have not i say i read a profile and maybe 1 our of 20 if they seem preaty nice i will email them and becouse i think you can make a friend with anyone that why but i guess the wrold is just to cruels for this . ross.g quote: ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig Perhaps they aren't looking for friends/have enough already. Why are you looking to them for friendship? M

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/10/2007 10:43:59 PM)
What i was saying is that i have had offers from Dommes that have emailed me when i use to have in my profile that i work as a dog groomer THey have offered to trade me service for a service wich i dont except i wouldnt trade a service for a service for a friend i would not charge them to groom there dog i take in about 20 to 40 dogs a day and 2 are usly friends dog's that i dont charge for just becouse we are friends but i was simply saying that i have had others offer to trade me wich i dont like they dont need to offer me play tiem session fro me to groom there dog's quote: ORIGINAL: mp072004 You could also define friendship more clearly. Saying that you want companionship for activities like going to movies or going hiking, or that you want to have conversations and debates about current events, is more precise than "I want to be friends" and could offer more success. Your last post about service trades and friendship was especially confused on this point. Are you saying that you would offer free dog grooming to anyone to declared himself or herself to be your friend? This seems like bad business--why wouldn't all your customers waltz into your office and declare themselves your friends? If that's not so, what would someone have to do to induce you to give them the gift of your professional time? Monica

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/10/2007 10:50:07 PM)
so you are saaying that there are more Male submissive then pro domems i do agree i know there are 100 submissive probly for every pro domme but i dont understand are you saying that there are more female submissive then male submissive ? couse i dont agree with that maybe i missread it not that i dont agree with it but One thing i dont like or understand is how come someone could sya there are more out there on somthing like that ok maybe its hard to understand me becouse i sometimes have trouble with spelling and wording sorry this seems like it go so way out of where i wanted and seems like i may have had some upset with me for posting this when i was just curiouse soryr . quote: ORIGINAL: GuidingLite pro Dommes are smart enough to realize the fact,that male submissives are in over supply to the point where price is a non factor. i have no problem with Pro Dommes, and let's face it.....we are not talking about Doms......male subs cannot find enough female Tops within this lifestyle because most of the women in BDSM are bottoms, and the female Tops can easily be very selective regardless of relationship status. But Pro-Dommes are people, some are great, some mediocre, some are bad.

MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/11/2007 3:05:00 AM)
Dont be sorry, ross. Its a fair question I have friends who are pro-dommes and they are great fun to know. But I have met some total nutcases in the industry too. Some are incredibly professional; others are what we call "hookers with whips" ( with no disrespect intended to sex workers - the Worlds Oldest Profession is a hard way to make a living) However, the good pro-dommes have men falling over themselves to be their "friends" - guys who volunteer to be their chauffeurs, masseurs, dungeon cleaners, home handyman....anything just to hang around a pro-domme. Sometimes they want (and can get) freebies, but usually they just want the thrill of being her friend and hanging around the dungeon. Since pro-dommes meet an endless supply of men eager to be "friends" (and not paying clients) they can choose their friends from the men they meet in person based on looks, personality and usefulness. Unfortunately, the internet is not the way to attract their attention if you want to genuinely join a pro-dommes circle of friends. I don't know why any pro-dommes would advertise for "friends" when they want clients, but sounds like you are better off without dishonest friends like that ross

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/11/2007 8:00:33 AM)
THank you this realy has reasured me that this was not a bad post i thout after all the replys that some where upset with me for posting this but you have made me proud to post this ;) thank you very mouch . ross.g quote: ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne Dont be sorry, ross. Its a fair question I have friends who are pro-dommes and they are great fun to know. But I have met some total nutcases in the industry too. Some are incredibly professional; others are what we call "hookers with whips" ( with no disrespect intended to sex workers - the Worlds Oldest Profession is a hard way to make a living) However, the good pro-dommes have men falling over themselves to be their "friends" - guys who volunteer to be their chauffeurs, masseurs, dungeon cleaners, home handyman....anything just to hang around a pro-domme. Sometimes they want (and can get) freebies, but usually they just want the thrill of being her friend and hanging around the dungeon. Since pro-dommes meet an endless supply of men eager to be "friends" (and not paying clients) they can choose their friends from the men they meet in person based on looks, personality and usefulness. Unfortunately, the internet is not the way to attract their attention if you want to genuinely join a pro-dommes circle of friends. I don't know why any pro-dommes would advertise for "friends" when they want clients, but sounds like you are better off without dishonest friends like that ross

EvilKitty -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/11/2007 10:07:29 PM)
It is a fair question. What the poster meant about the male-to-female sub ratio was that there are more female subs than there are female Dommes. There are far more male subs than any other category; which tells us something about today's society. (But that's another discussion! ) You might have better luck becoming friends with Dommes who are not professionals; instead try "lifestylers". Some women are both; but We separate our professional time from our private time. In addition, online "friends" are frequently (though not always) a poor substitute for real-time friends. Difficult to go out for coffee with someone who lives 5 states away from you. The suggestion that you begin integrating into your local Kink or BDSM community is excellent. Once you have attended 3 or 4 regular events, the "regulars" will begin to recognize you & are more likely to include you as one of their own. Evil Kitty

MistressNoName -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/11/2007 10:37:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EvilKitty quote: .....What the poster meant about the male-to-female sub ratio was that there are more female subs than there are female Dommes. There are far more male subs than any other category; which tells us something about today's society. (But that's another discussion! ) I've heard this "statistic claimed many times on many different threads. Has CollarMe ever published any real membership demographics? I'd love to know what the actual numbers are. And if there are truly nore male subs than any other, this might be an excellent topic for an, I dunno, "Ask a malesub" board... [:)] MNN

MsBee -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/12/2007 8:22:15 AM)
ross.... I am speaking from my experience. Please think about your question. A successful professional anyone isn't looking for their "friends" online. We are sought out by men from all over the world and we have active social lives. We are advertising our profession online. You wouldn't write a doctor's ad and ask him if he wanted to be your friend, would you? We aren't social worker's or non-profit organizations, we make our living this way because we are experts at what we do. I understand there are mostly poser's online but even they are busy with their lives. If you find someone online that says they are a pro and they can afford to sit around answering emails and looking for "friends" then I promise you they aren't professionals. Ms B ~

LaTigresse -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/12/2007 8:41:58 AM)
Ross there is a very easy and simple solution to your dilemma. Stop wasting your time writing letters to pro dommes unless you are seeking their services.

cloudboy -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/12/2007 9:09:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lonlyrossInNeed I just wish that it was easier IMO, this desire for ease won't aid you. Meeting someone will probably take a long time --- and that's the normal arc. Don't personalize it or become frustrated (at least not too much.) Like an Everest Climb, all you can do is put one foot in front of the other, melt snow for water, conserve your energy, be smart, remain determined, while keeping the end goal in the back of your mind as motivation. Please know too that there is a lot of trial and error for everyone here. Good luck. As for Pro Doms, the upside is if you are willing to pay, you can get some experience. Its the definition of easy. But I don't think you want easy.

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/12/2007 3:32:16 PM)
well i am not saying that i am going to stop emailing seek frinedship i have just made a new firendship with a Domme who is a Pro but she is also looking for friends and that is what her profile sayd also but i understand what some are saying and i just wana say that i odnt email every i email the ones that say they are intrested in friendship so how come they will put that there but when you ask for it they will say no thank you . ross.g

cloudboy -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/12/2007 4:36:45 PM)
The first step is putting yourself out there, and for that you are to be congratulated. A little bit of "what the fuck" can take you a long way sometimes.

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/12/2007 11:05:51 PM)
Thank you i havnt been told it this way yet but i do like it i know i go and put what i have out and leave myself wide open for let downs and stuff but i do like to speak and be myself when alowed ;) ross.g quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy The first step is putting yourself out there, and for that you are to be congratulated. A little bit of "what the fuck" can take you a long way sometimes.

wandersalone -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/14/2007 3:16:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lonlyrossInNeed and i just wana say that i odnt email every i email the ones that say they are intrested in friendship so how come they will put that there but when you ask for it they will say no thank you . ross.g Just remember that simply because a person may write that they are seeking friends it doesn't mean that they have to or want to be friends with everyone who contacts them. Everyone has a right to decline your offer. It often isn't personal, it is simply that the internet increases the number of people who will contact them.

goodpet -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/14/2007 3:36:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: vield If you truly seek professional Domme friends, you may try attending local BD/SM discussion groups and events in your area, and volunteering to do work on projects for the local events. Good advice, we have several proDoms here in the area. When you meet then at events and clubs they are very open to friendships, because it is a social setting. This is a work setting for them. If there is someone you really want to a have friendly conversation with try a different approach. They, most likely, will be put off with an open ended offer of friendship. But some might take time to answer a nicely written question. Ask them a question, don't ask advice, just may i have your opinion on something. Use spell checker and grammar checker, if English is not your native language tell them so they can overlook some grammar difficulties.

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/14/2007 2:08:24 PM)
But most the time i will not not get a respons i will get a respons and it will say sorry not looking for friends when there profile dose say so so its realy just confusing at times why others are like this ,. ross.g quote: ORIGINAL: wandersalone quote: ORIGINAL: lonlyrossInNeed and i just wana say that i odnt email every i email the ones that say they are intrested in friendship so how come they will put that there but when you ask for it they will say no thank you . ross.g Just remember that simply because a person may write that they are seeking friends it doesn't mean that they have to or want to be friends with everyone who contacts them. Everyone has a right to decline your offer. It often isn't personal, it is simply that the internet increases the number of people who will contact them.

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/14/2007 2:11:07 PM)
its not that im looking for pro dommes as friends im looking for friends that what i see in a profile if they say they seek and have a intrest in new friends and talk with others then sometimes ill repy to the profile but i cant stand it when they email back saying they dont seek friends at all but there profile clearly says it its anoying at times why ppl have to be so rude but go figure also i am dyslexic and i do somtimes tell others that i am and somtimes dont . ross.g quote: ORIGINAL: goodpet quote: ORIGINAL: vield If you truly seek professional Domme friends, you may try attending local BD/SM discussion groups and events in your area, and volunteering to do work on projects for the local events. Good advice, we have several proDoms here in the area. When you meet then at events and clubs they are very open to friendships, because it is a social setting. This is a work setting for them. If there is someone you really want to a have friendly conversation with try a different approach. They, most likely, will be put off with an open ended offer of friendship. But some might take time to answer a nicely written question. Ask them a question, don't ask advice, just may i have your opinion on something. Use spell checker and grammar checker, if English is not your native language tell them so they can overlook some grammar difficulties.

TexasMaam -> RE: I was wonder how come when you try and make friends with a Pro Domme (3/17/2007 8:32:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn Personally, I think you are a bit over obsessed with the concept of money so that almost all of your contacts with female dominants is going to fit some kind of economic exchange with and for you. I have a large number of friends who over the years have been professional dominants (and submissives for that matter), but I think that if I ever focused on money, like putting up pictures of an expensive car or expensive homes, I'd have a hard time interacting with them as regular people, or even getting them to take me seriously at that level. You're rarely going to succeed by writing someone out of the blue saying you want to be friends. It might work for some people, but I think you're discovering how hard that really is. However, you can make a lot of friends by posting a lot about a lot of different issues so that those who agree with you or find your thoughts interesting, might actually strike up conversations that lead to friendships. BINGO! As always, littlesarbonn said it best. ; ) TM

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