quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Perhaps they aren't looking for friends/have enough already.
Why are you looking to them for friendship?    M

quote:

ORIGINAL: mp072004


You could also define friendship more clearly. Saying that you want companionship for activities like going to movies or going hiking, or that you want to have conversations and debates about current events, is more precise than "I want to be friends" and could offer more success. Your last post about service trades and friendship was especially confused on this point. Are you saying that you would offer free dog grooming to anyone to declared himself or herself to be your friend? This seems like bad business--why wouldn't all your customers waltz into your office and declare themselves your friends? If that's not so, what would someone have to do to induce you to give them the gift of your professional time?

Monica

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite

pro Dommes are smart enough to realize the fact,that male submissives are in over supply to the point where price is a non factor. i have no problem with Pro Dommes, and let's face it.....we are not talking about
Doms......male subs cannot find enough female Tops within this lifestyle because most of the women in BDSM are bottoms, and the female Tops can easily be very selective regardless of relationship status.  But Pro-Dommes are people, some are great, some mediocre, some are bad.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

Dont be sorry, ross.  Its a fair question

I have friends who are pro-dommes and they are great fun to know.  But I have met some total nutcases in the industry too. 

Some are incredibly professional; others are what we call "hookers with whips" ( with no disrespect intended to sex workers - the Worlds Oldest Profession is a hard way to make a living)

However, the good pro-dommes have men falling over themselves to be their "friends" - guys who volunteer to be their chauffeurs, masseurs, dungeon cleaners, home handyman....anything just to hang around a pro-domme.  Sometimes they want (and can get) freebies, but usually they just want the thrill of being her friend and hanging around the dungeon. 

Since pro-dommes meet an endless supply of men eager to be "friends" (and not paying clients) they can choose their friends from the men they meet in person based on looks, personality and usefulness.   Unfortunately, the internet is not the way to attract their attention if you want to genuinely join a pro-dommes circle of friends. 

I don't know why any pro-dommes would advertise for "friends" when they want clients, but sounds like you are better off without dishonest friends like that ross

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilKitty

quote:

.....What the poster meant about the male-to-female sub ratio was that there are more female subs than there are female Dommes. There are far more male subs than any other category; which tells us something about today's society. (But that's another discussion! )

I've heard this "statistic claimed many times on many different threads. Has CollarMe ever published any real membership demographics? I'd love to know what the actual numbers are.

And if there are truly nore male subs than any other, this might be an excellent topic for an, I dunno, "Ask a malesub" board...



MNN

(in reply to EvilKitty)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonlyrossInNeed

I just wish that it was easier

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy


The first step is putting yourself out there, and for that you are to be congratulated. A little bit of "what the fuck" can take you a long way sometimes.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonlyrossInNeed

and i just wana say that i odnt email every i email the ones that say they are intrested in friendship
so how come they will put that there but when you ask for it they will say no thank you .

ross.g

quote:

ORIGINAL: vield

If you truly seek professional Domme friends, you may try attending local BD/SM discussion groups and events in your area, and volunteering to do work on projects for the local events.

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonlyrossInNeed

and i just wana say that i odnt email every i email the ones that say they are intrested in friendship
so how come they will put that there but when you ask for it they will say no thank you .

ross.g

Just remember that simply because a person may write that they are seeking friends it doesn't mean that they have to or want to be friends with everyone who contacts them.  Everyone has a right to decline your offer. It often isn't personal, it is simply that the internet increases the number of people who will contact them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: vield

If you truly seek professional Domme friends, you may try attending local BD/SM discussion groups and events in your area, and volunteering to do work on projects for the local events.

Good advice, we have several proDoms here in the area. When you meet then at events and clubs they are very open to friendships, because it is a social setting.

This is a work setting for them.   If there is someone you really want to a have friendly conversation with try a different approach.

They, most likely, will be put off with an open ended offer of friendship. But some might take time to answer a nicely written question.

Ask them a question, don't ask advice, just may i have your opinion on something.  Use spell checker and grammar checker, if English is not your native language tell them so they can overlook some grammar difficulties.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

Personally, I think you are a bit over obsessed with the concept of money so that almost all of your contacts with female dominants is going to fit some kind of economic exchange with and for you. I have a large number of friends who over the years have been professional dominants (and submissives for that matter), but I think that if I ever focused on money, like putting up pictures of an expensive car or expensive homes, I'd have a hard time interacting with them as regular people, or even getting them to take me seriously at that level.

You're rarely going to succeed by writing someone out of the blue saying you want to be friends. It might work for some people, but I think you're discovering how hard that really is. However, you can make a lot of friends by posting a lot about a lot of different issues so that those who agree with you or find your thoughts interesting, might actually strike up conversations that lead to friendships.