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nyrisa -> the truth according to Eve (3/11/2007 7:41:54 AM)
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Eve's Chat With God...
"Lord, I have a problem."
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"And why is that Eve?"
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"Man? What is that Lord?"
"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he is aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he will also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch Lord?"
"Well.....you can have him on one condition."
"And what's that Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring.....so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret......
You know, woman to woman."
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EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit
Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises
and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights,
everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is
these breasts you have given me.
The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly
knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging
them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve.
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of
her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears,
etc..........she felt that having only two breasts might leave her
body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.
"That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first
shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I
figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are
right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed
it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the
Garden of Eden, "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on
your part.You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a
ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except
me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are
right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I
will immediately create a man from a part of you.
Now let's see............where did I put the useless boob?"
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that crap about the
rib?
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