SADIST and letting the beast out to play

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SADIST and letting the beast out to play - 4/1/2005 6:17:03 AM

Archer

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In another post the term Sadist was used in a manner that bothers me.
Now I am an addmitted SADIST no bones about it I claim the title fully and have no qualms about it. Being a Sadist does not mean that I have no ethics about how I exercise my beast within, and I have found that the beast within is not limited to sadistic expression. I've seen people have that beast come out in strictly Dominant mode as well.

I wonder why it is that Sadists get such a bad wrap sometimes.
We don't expect automaticly that a dDominant will have no ethics, we don't assume a submissive will act without ethics, we don't assume that ethics are something that is missing in any of the other roles/catagories, yet many assume that a Sadist will not have the same level of ethics.

I let the beast out to play, but I learned early on when that Headspace was starting to come on, (Thank you Master Reagan and slave silk wherever you are) it was part of my mentoring when I was a baby Dom. Can the headspace reach a point where you become a danger? Certainly it can, but the same can be said for submissive and masocist headspace when they lose the ability to communicate. The difference is that as a Sadist, or a Dominant you have the responsibility to control the scene. You canlet the beast out if you have the ability to keep them on a leash. I find that if I don't let him out to play the inner beast will simply build energy until something else allows that energy out.

My slave is a masocist, but there are days when she accepts my sadism simply as a service to me, I can tell when that is the case (we've been together for 6 years).
It is something she consented to provide when she became my slave most of the time she gets the bonus because she 90% of the time really gets off on the pain. We're a good match.

Well anyway, I thought that the concept of Sadism and the bad wrap Sadists get deserved it's own post.

So lets talk about exercising the beast within

In Leather

Archer

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RE: SADIST and letting the beast out to play - 4/1/2005 6:56:55 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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Unlike dominance, which can be nurturing and protective and sweet and all, sadism at its core is about causing pain and suffering in another person.

I tend to differentiate between fluffy sadists (like me) who can enjoy playing with a masochist and topping them, but don't like to ACTUALLY hurt someone who isn't getting real direct pleasure from it. I use pain to make them feel yummy.

Then you have the sadists, who like to ACTUALLY hurt someone, knowing full well they don't want it, aren't getting off on it, and just having to take it.

I think actual sadists like that are the few and the extreme and the misunderstood. But they are very real, and making sure of their ethics makes sense to me. While I don't automatically assume that a sadist is unethical, in a scene I find their immediate sense of danger to be worth double-checking rather than just with a fluffy sadist or just a dom.

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RE: SADIST and letting the beast out to play - 4/1/2005 7:17:10 AM

MsSilvie

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I describe myself as a sadist also. The general dislike for the word seems to be because people confuse it with psychopath.

sadist n. someone who obtains pleasure from inflicting pain or others.

psy·cho·path n. A person with an antisocial personality disorder, manifested in aggressive, perverted, criminal, or amoral behavior without empathy or remorse.

These are very different things. "Sadist" doesn't mean someone has no control or no ethical compass. You can have a sadist who is insightful and understands what it is that drives them. I don't believe a person can decide what it is that you find sexually compelling. I do believe a person is responsible for how they choose to act on their desires. So yes, I'm a sadist, but I'm a very much self-aware and in-control sadist.

You can have someone who is both a sadist AND a psychopath. Those are some extremely frightening individuals, the kind you hear about on the news. But one doesn't automatically imply the other.

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RE: SADIST and letting the beast out to play - 4/1/2005 11:06:18 AM

FLButtSlut

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Technically (and according to the top selling dictionaries, Merriam-Webster and American Heritage), a sadist is someone who has a tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others. Does that mean all sadist have no ethics? Of course not. Are most serial killers also sadists? Pretty much, since they do typically get sexual gratification from their activities. Obviously they are quite different.

So Archer, it would seem to me that you ARE getting quite the bad rap as a sadist. That is of course assuming that you aren't picking people off the street at random for play (for anyone where that is the case, then they deserve the bad rap and prison time!). You, as well as all the other sadists who might be offended, are "letting the beast out" with people who are your natural counterpart, and who consent to the "game."

Like everything else in BDSM, there are levels of kink. But it certainly seems to me that everyone in the lifestyle (me included) are at some level either a sadist or a masochist, whether they call themselves a sadist, a master or a dominant; a masochist, a slave or a submissive. At some level, we are all getting gratification from either the pain we inflict or the pain inflicted upon us, however it gets justified, either as a form of enjoyment, or discipline or punishment. That is part of what brings people here.

Certainly, I have some masochistic tendencies, so I seek out partners who will satisfy those tendencies and obviously, they will need to have some sadistic tendencies to enjoy it. Do some of my friends who know about these things think I might have some "issues"? Hell yes! Do I care? Not a bit. They have issues too. Everyone does.

I must admit though that I find it very amusing that we all tend to take such offense when because someone IN the lifestyle questions why or how we are what we are.

Archer, it seems to me you and your partners are quite happy with your being a sadist, so who gives a rat's a$$ if others don't get it? I'm live my life as I see fit, not as others seem to think I should. I find that my happiness is much more fufilling that way. So break out your whips and whatever else pleases you, grab your partner and have yourself a party!

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RE: SADIST and letting the beast out to play - 4/1/2005 11:37:42 AM

Archer

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Oh I'm not letting anything people say here stop me fom having my fun.
I just thought that someone needed to say something positive about us Sadists nce in awhile nd not lump us in with all those nutcases that get all the press.

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RE: SADIST and letting the beast out to play - 4/1/2005 8:26:42 PM

Elegant

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Master...You are a sadist but a sadist with heart..a sadist with integrity.

And yes, damned good thing I am a masocist!

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RE: SADIST and letting the beast out to play - 4/2/2005 5:19:52 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer
In another post the term Sadist was used in a manner that bothers me.

I'm curious, how was it used?

I am sadistic as well. I think I am not only in the bdsm realm. I love watching people squirm. I don't necessarily see it as something mean. I think it has more to do with human dynamics then roles we take on in wiitwd. Same thing goes for dominance and submission.

I am also masochistic and I love intense sensations. Because of my dominant side however, only I determine when, how, who and under what conditions someone will top me in an S&M dynamic.

To me dominance and sadism aren't acts such as topping/bottoming, bondage, discipline, torture, humiliation but an integral part of my personality that I cannot turn on or off. I can however gage it and know when it is appropriate to use.

- LA

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RE: SADIST and letting the beast out to play - 4/2/2005 10:05:21 PM

MrThorns

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Unlike dominance, which can be nurturing and protective and sweet and all, sadism at its core is about causing pain and suffering in another person.

Dominance, at it's core, is about having power over another. Nothing sweet, nurturing, or protective about it. I understand what you are getting at, but sadists can be just as nurturing, protective and sweet as anyone else. To me, pain is a tool...pain is just another sensation...pain is the present. I take pleasure in what I am doing, so I am a sadist...and pretty damned happy about being one.

quote:

I tend to differentiate between fluffy sadists (like me) who can enjoy playing with a masochist and topping them, but don't like to ACTUALLY hurt someone who isn't getting real direct pleasure from it. I use pain to make them feel yummy.

I feel the same way...for the most part. I think many people confuse the BDSM form of sadist with a sociopath-kinda sadist. We, as BDSM-ish Sadists do not drown kittens, kick puppies, or take lollipops away from babies to see them cry.

quote:

Then you have the sadists, who like to ACTUALLY hurt someone, knowing full well they don't want it, aren't getting off on it, and just having to take it.

Again we are running into the sociopathic model. If they (the slave) don't want it...the slave can stop the scene..leave the relationship...call the cops...kick the bastards teeth in, etc. If the sadist in question drives on regardless...well then, there may be a serious problem here.

quote:

I think actual sadists like that are the few and the extreme and the misunderstood. But they are very real, and making sure of their ethics makes sense to me. While I don't automatically assume that a sadist is unethical, in a scene I find their immediate sense of danger to be worth double-checking rather than just with a fluffy sadist or just a dom.

I see no issues in double or triple checking again and again and again before getting involved with people before you play with them. (This goes for the entire spectrum of the power exchange: slaves, subs, bottoms, tops, doms, etc etc.) One can never be too careful. I DO, however, have an issue with being referred to as "fluffy". So I'll avoid identifying as "Fluffy" and just be content with being an Evil Rat Bastid.

~Thorns

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RE: SADIST and letting the beast out to play - 5/16/2005 10:25:36 PM

SirSTRYKER

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quote:

sadist n. someone who obtains pleasure from inflicting pain or others.

psy·cho·path n. A person with an antisocial personality disorder, manifested in aggressive, perverted, criminal, or amoral behavior without empathy or remorse.

My Dear MsSilvie, your post was music to My ears. I too am quite sadistic and "am someone who obtains pleasure from inflicting pain on others" without hesitation. Yet and still if the person I'm inflicting it upon didn't want to receive it, W/we'd have little sexually in common. I thank you for putting the difference between sadist and psychopath up.

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