hoplesslyInVo
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Joined: 1/3/2008
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most people i see seem to describe their disposition as simply i need to. whether they're entirely sincere or not, or just never really stopped to think about their own feelings, if you asked them for the reason why they need to, they generally couldn't give you a real answer and would only repeat, because i need to.
anyway, needs always correlate to some sort of function, similar to cause and effect, one doesn't exist without the other. and i don't consider me having my own needs, or simply admitting to their existence, to be in contradiction of my saying “i don't do it for myself” saying i need her desires to submit to, is in context that, if she did not have any desires, how then could i ever do what is desired? which is why the function a need serves is probably more in question that what the need itself is. still, anyone who seeks to fulfill the wishes of another will share the same need, a genie cannot grant what you don’t wish for. but think of other needs that are also inherent; a need of trust, a need of willingness, a need of understanding. better exemplified in my meaning would be something such as this, a house is burning down and someone is trapped inside, you know... the typical hollywood sort of setup. we all know what comes next, the fireman runs into the house, but does so for the sake of saving the victim, not for their own sake. yet if they hope to save this person, there are several needs this person will need to meet. they will need courage, they will need resolve, they will need ability, time, probably some assistance, and perhaps a bit of luck, but all of these needs are in regard to the function of "saving this persons life". this act isn't committed because of the fireman’s own needs, but still has needs that must be met if it is to be accomplished, just as any other situation will. still apparent, and yet not a need, the fire fighter obviously has the desire to save this person. every voluntary action we take is affected by our desires, and thus carries motivations, but as with this example, the firefighters own desires and motivations are selfless, and while they are his needs, they are simply ones that will govern the success in saving this persons life.
i guess i'm just trying to say desires and needs are always present, but which ones are acted upon and much more importantly why, is what becomes indicative of their intent. many people i think simply don't properly differentiate between a need and a desire. desires spawn needs, and needs simply state what must be done to fulfill it.
i do not need to be alive; i want to be alive. since i want to continue living i have needs to abide to if i wish carry out this desire. i need water, i need food, i need oxygen, and i need shelter if i want to survive long. those are my simple necessities, yet i want sweetened tea, a giant steak, fresh air, and a mansion with 3 floors, a basement, and a 20 acre yard encased in a 7 foot brick wall with one of those fancy iron-bar gates at the front of my cobblestone driveway. i don't need those things, but since i want them and seek for it to happen, if i going to get them, i'm going to encounter more needs in able to attain them, mostly i need money, and obviously lots of it. depending on how i want to go about acquiring this money, i'm met with yet only more needs in the means to this function. if i choose to get a high paying career, i need a resume, i probably need a hell of an education, i might need new clothes, and i might need several references and connections. these things all spawn more needs derived from the desires of how i want to go about attainting these. if i want an education at a university, i might need a scholarship, or a lower paying job during my schooling to allow it. so forth and so on it goes, new desires come to view, new needs are born, it never ends.
what i find conclusively misleading, is when people list their desires as wants. saying i need fancy clothes is only truly a need when a function cannot be carried out otherwise, most people would say you don’t “need” fancy clothes, but are not looking at it with the correct function, but instead only use the function “to survive”. obviously i don’t need fancy clothes to survive, but if i'm going to work as a lawyer, this is in fact a need. typically only about 3 types of attire are seen in court rooms, formal wear, robes, and prison uniforms. since i'm neither aspiring to be a judge or an inmate, i need a suit to satisfyingly fill this position, and not end up being kicked out because i was seen as a mockery to the court by wearing jeans and a wife-beater while presenting my case. so in the case of so many people saying i "need to serve", the function it must follow will define it. if i'm a waiter and table #2 wants pie, then i "need to serve" if i want a tip or to even keep my job. if a mistress desires me to submit, then i "need to serve" if i wish to please her. if i was one of the people that "need to serve" to get my jollys off, it's still a need defining the function, but obviously no longer carries any form of selflessness, and certainly is not the thinking of someone who is actually submissive. a person that "needs to serve" to define who they are or have a better understanding of themselves and feel at peace from doing so, is certainly (in my opinion) not selfish, and i see nothing in the least wrong with it, as many dominants would be happy to help them explore it and find it rewarding, it’s not entirely selfless, but they don’t so often ever seem to claim it to is. but after they’ve “found their place” that need will surely change and the function more defined, even if once again, they’re unaware or just don’t think about the reasons. i generally just assume that to be the case with most "true" submissives that seem unable offer no other reason for their disposition other than to say "i simply need to submit". i assume these needs are their own are reflect inward, but also fit the needs of another. however the people that would say “i need to submit”, and would list the function as “because i like to please” are pretty obviously only really seeking to please themselves, hell’s frozen over and blah blah blah when submitting becomes the only way to please another. none of that however, nor my submissive nature, are things i consider of any influence in the reasons that would cause me to offer my own submission. surely as much as some wanker can offer their submission, in turnaround my submissive nature does not force my hand in actually submitting. if it is desired, i simply have as you say to either make the choice or not, and if i agree i make it in regards to meeting the satisfaction of who would ask for it, not for myself. to offer myself, and to submit to another simply in the aim to make myself a means to their happiness probably just sounds like a lot of hot air and big talk, (i don’t agree we all say “more or less the same thing”) and obviously despite it all, such a relationship is in many eyes likely to be very rewarding, and because of that, will be prone having others, possibly even the one i’m with assume or wonder if the rewards of my actions were my immediate and conclusive aspirations. even if the reward of bringing enjoyment to someone else isn’t exactly thinking inward in my opinion.
however, i simply must admit i have needs, that i myself must meet, if i am to ever expect to be able to satisfy the needs and desires of another. i consider coming to terms with that standpoint to have been one of those needs itself, and more to the point, the satisfaction i receive in pleasing another, is simply not my motivation for pleasing them in the first place.
i'm really far off topic of a topic that's already off topic though, so unless for someone this helps add to my point of what i consider a necessity in the first place, sorry for the ranting and hijacking.
< Message edited by hoplesslyInVo -- 2/16/2008 9:28:08 AM >
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