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SweetArkDomme -> need help (3/11/2007 6:29:36 PM)

tell me what is the best way to control a woman that likes to be controled



amaidiamond -> RE: need help (3/11/2007 6:32:04 PM)

Ummm....however the hell you want to within that persons limits....just mho



MsKatHouston -> RE: need help (3/11/2007 8:22:20 PM)

The best way would depend on the particular woman.  There is no magic formula that will work for all people.  You should learn about yourself, learn some skills and get to know the individual in question. 



Joeconero -> RE: need help (3/11/2007 8:58:31 PM)

Start easy and slowly work your way up, find out what seems to work out and what doesn't. Same as a man I would suppose.



LadyPact -> RE: need help (3/11/2007 10:52:46 PM)

Sorry for the smart remark here, but best wishes to the man who ever thinks they will control Me.



BeachMystress -> RE: need help (3/12/2007 4:17:27 AM)

You may want to do some reading on power exchange and control. Reading material could include:

Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns - A great book, but written from a Dom, female sub point of view. It is probably the best overall book, and one that should be in your library. It is also a bit overwhelming for someone new to the lifestyle.

The New Topping Book- This has been my favorite of all the books so far. I found it to be accessible and easy to read. This book is more of a S/m book, but a lot of the concepts are the same. I highly recommend it.

The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners - This book is good for a beginner. It isn't overwhelming. It talks some about the mental state of a new Dominant. It is worth picking up and having a look.

The Art of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women - This one is also a good candidate for a beginner. I'd order both into Barnes and Noble or whatever local store of yours does special ordering and glance through both. Pick up the one that catches your attention better. They both contain about the same information.

The Family Jewels: A Guide to Male Genital Play and Torment - This is a good introduction to the male genital anatomy. Sooner or later, all Domme seem to use some sort of penile interaction. It is a wonderful source of control. Learn how to do it safely.

Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual - This is the one I'm in the middle of reading now. It is also basic material, but covers some stuff not done in the other books. The style is easy to follow. It isn't overly wordy, so it isn't an intimidating book. It is a good overview book, touching lightly on many subjects and is one you can actually imagine yourself reading cover to cover. I'd say it plus either "Sexually Dominant Woman" or "Art of Sensual Female Dominance" will get you on your way.

Female Dominance: Rituals and Practices - I've not read this one. It's a pretty new book and still in hardcover. I'm waiting for it to come in paper before I purchase it.


Other books that may be useful for you:

Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely
by Bill Henkin, Sybil Holiday

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1881943127/ref=cm_bg_f_3/002-5986748-9777619?v=glance&n=283155
===
Bondage on a Budget
by Alison Tyler (Editor), Dante Davidson (Editor)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1576121690/ref=cm_lm_fullview_prod_9/002-5986748-9777619?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155
===
Flogging
by Joseph W. Bean

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1890159271/ref=pd_sim_b_3/002-5986748-9777619?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155
===
Safe Beginnings : An Exploration of BDSM Lifestyles
by Goddess Lakshimi

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1932517006/ref=cm_lm_fullview_prod_6/002-5986748-9777619?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155
====
21st Century Kinkycrafts
by Janet W. Hardy (Editor)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1890159581/ref=pd_sim_b_1/002-5986748-9777619?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155
====
The Compleat Spanker
by Lady Green

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/189015900X/ref=cm_lm_fullview_prod_15/002-5986748-9777619?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155
===
SlaveCraft: Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude--Principles, Skills and Tools
by Guy Baldwin

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1881943143/ref=pd_sbs_b_4/002-0462390-2712035?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance
====
Partners in Power: Living in Kinky Relationships
by Jack Rinella

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1890159506/ref=pd_sim_b_6/002-0462390-2712035?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance
====
Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook
by Jay Wiseman

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1890159131/ref=pd_sim_b_4/002-0462390-2712035?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance



BeachMystress -> RE: need help (3/12/2007 4:38:34 AM)

You could also do some research online. Here are a few links to help you get started. Yes there are a lot of links with a lot of info here. But learning to control someone isn't something you do overnight.
 
http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/domadvic.html
 
http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/encyclopervia/Advice:_Masters
 
http://www.domsub.info/punishment.html
 
http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdwanttobedom.html
 
http://www.domsub.info/rulesformasters.html
 
http://www.domsub.info/trainingtheory.html
 
http://www.vanilla-not.com/basics/tendom.html
 
http://www.seekers.org.uk/Dominant%20Section.htm
 
http://www.sscn.org/abuse.html
 
http://www.wizdomme.com/infopack/
 
http://www.venusenvy.ca/Resources/SaferBDSM.asp
 
http://www.nlacolumbus.com/education/sm101/smbasic.html
 
http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/domhaven.php3
 
http://fetishexchange.org/protocol-and-etiquette.shtml
 
http://www.castlerealm.com/
 
http://www.vanilla-not.com/
 
http://www.akashaweb.com/goodgirl.html
 
http://www.msmargaretdavis.com/notonovc.html

http://no.place.like.home.mindspring.com/abbot/articles/jl980105.htm
 
http://www.nlacolumbus.com/education/sm101/smtoys.html
 
http://www.the-vox.com/bdsm.shtml
 
http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/chcane.html
 
http://www.domsub.info/breastprimer.html

http://www.erotic-bdsm.net/Articles/The_Collar.html
 
http://gloria-brame.com/domidea/playsafe.htm
 
http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/jerseyaftercare.htm
 
http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/docs/aftercare.htm




MissSCD -> RE: need help (3/13/2007 10:51:17 AM)

You are asking the wrong forum for that answer. LOL

Regards,

MissSCD



LaTigresse -> RE: need help (3/13/2007 11:16:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSCD

You are asking the wrong forum for that answer. LOL

Regards,

MissSCD


Not necessarily. Some of us only prefer to have women under our control.

To answer the question from my own limited experience.

To control a woman is to capitvate her, make her want YOU to control her, and then you can take control. Because I am telling you one thing for certain, wether the woman is slave/submissive or vanilla as hell, if a woman doesn't want it and you try to take it........my sympathies to your next of kin.



MissyRane -> RE: need help (3/13/2007 11:39:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSCD

You are asking the wrong forum for that answer. LOL

Regards,

MissSCD


Not necessarily. Some of us only prefer to have women under our control.

To answer the question from my own limited experience.

To control a woman is to capitvate her, make her want YOU to control her, and then you can take control. Because I am telling you one thing for certain, wether the woman is slave/submissive or vanilla as hell, if a woman doesn't want it and you try to take it........my sympathies to your next of kin.



Just like tiger here did to me[;)]



LaTigresse -> RE: need help (3/13/2007 1:36:02 PM)

To the farm with you!!![;)]



frostyslave -> RE: need help (3/13/2007 4:37:05 PM)

Put a gold tennis bracelet on the end of a piece of string.  You figure out the rest.  For the OP, not the tiger lady.



mp072004 -> RE: need help (3/13/2007 6:22:09 PM)

If your "woman who wants to be controlled" wants to obey you, then all you need to do is ask her to do things. Presumably, she would obey, because that's what she wants. Simple.

If your "woman who wants to be controlled" wants to be persuaded or coerced into obedience, then that's a separate issue. Then you need to intimidate, cajole, reason, and/or threaten her to induce her to obey. You likely have some techniques developed in non-BDSM interactions for getting your way. I would advise you to take stock of those techniques and build on them. Then observe what works well with this particular woman.

Monica



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