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Mercnbeth -> RE: proportions of the various roles? (3/12/2007 9:55:15 AM)
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quote:
It seems that female subs outnumber the female subs
You need to correct this. Do you mean that it appears there are more female subs or male subs?
I don't believe there are as many female subs as self declared. I also don't believe there are as many male doms, or subs, as self declared. There is a similar reason for the declaration from a "male dom" and "female sub". That reason being the social expectation 'norm'. As bold and different that we'd like to say we are, there is still the confrontation of dealing with what 'society' expects. Transitioning to a so called 'lifestyle' environment subscribing to live in a relationship of male dom/female sub is in many ways more traditional than a so called 'vanilla' environment. It is comforting in the face of society that still in many ways puts the care and feeding of a happy home in the hands of a woman, but who also seems to require that simultaneously a woman must maintain an independent career. It's multi-tasking to the extreme. In the face of that expectation, the idea of surrendering to a male dom at minimum provides an outlet where having control of themselves isn't a requirement. Since the application of 'limits' and 'rules' is an accepted part of a 'lifestyle' relationship, the surrendering person can still maintain control while achieving the desired sensation.
The problem is at birth we are assigned a gender specific expectations. The stronger among us break away from those standards in proportion to personal confidence and integrity. Male/Female personality trait assignment is one of the worst forms of acceptable child abuse. It is the degree and/or combination of dominant and submissive traits that should precede or dictate their expectations. There are just as many dominant woman as dominant men, yet in life a dominant woman is viewed as the exception and until recently considered as much a 'freak' as a submissive man. Within the lifestyle, the expectation isn't there and you'll see equal distribution. The lifestyle allows, and encourages, personality traits to supersede gender; unfortunately often life does not.
Men though, in my opinion, have more of a monopoly on one trait over woman that seems obvious both in an on-line or real setting; lifestyle or vanilla. Men want to touch and be touched and will be and do anything to achieve touching and being touched. It may be a design flaw. An aroused man is obvious, an aroused woman requires a bit more attention to subtlety.
About 1% of the CM profiles come over to this side to post. The most interesting study regarding this subject and my assumption regarding the male side of the issue would be if there were a way to determine how many men have both a dominant and submissive profile; or for that matter how many men have a female profile as a dom or sub. As a matter of fact, one of the last soliciting contacts we received came from a profile identifying as a couple, but the message's pronouns were male singular. I don't think the process is exclusive to men, I just belief it would be more common.
I take no issue with the process, but I think you do yourself a disservice by not considering the possibility when you make contact. Statistically, it is my belief that dominance and submission are equally distributed between genders, similarly to homosexuality and just as uncommon. The larger percentage are people with dominant or submissive fantasies or desires, again similar to the homosexual fantasies and desires from the so professed "straight". I think the accepted percentage of homosexuals in society is 10%, I have never seen any study that suggests the percentage has a gender differential. I would hold the same true with dominance and submissiveness and think the percentage associating 100% to one or the other of roles is about the same.
Answers you get from any survey are skewed due to the responder answering in consideration to the social expectation.
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