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AAkasha -> RE: Mistresses with low amount of sexuality (4/4/2005 10:10:52 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MsElle
A Domme's sexuality is not at issue, it is the sexuality of that particular relationship that is. I keep different slaves for different purposes, and although my sex drive is very high, a lot of it is not directed into, or fulfilled by, my Mistress/slave relationships. Which is not to say that there is not a sexual component to power exchange alone (or that I don't keep some slaves expressly for that purpose *wink*), but I think if you advertise yourself as very service oriented/domestic you will attract Dommes who are looking to fulfill that particular need, regardless of the intesity of their personal sexuality.
If the sexual component is important to you, you need to be very open and direct about that. Set a clear expectation, or don't be suprised when you are disappointed.
~MsElle
Also, for those subs that envision themselves as a sex slave of sorts, who boast that their femdom's pleasure comes first and he fancies himself a "pussy slave" -- keep in mind there CAN be "too much of a good thing."
There are some subs that are so obssessed with giving oral that they can effectively turn their partner off to it. How can that be? How could a woman not LOVE having a man around who does not even care about his own orgasms, he just wants to please her?
Because he has turned the act of going down on a woman into a selfish one, believe it or not. He whines if she says she's not in the mood. He playfully "teases" her "oh you haven't had enough orgasms today!" and then gets downright mopey and passive aggressive if he doesn't get to go down on her x number of times a day. And it's never enough!
So many subs complain, "My wife isn't dominant at all, she doesn't even like it when I go down on her anymore....and all I want to do is please her, I don't understand!"
It's because you can burn her out on it, you can put your pleasure first and not take into consideration that she is sick of being asked and pushed into it.
I LOVE having a man go down on me when he's good at it -- but I get sick and tired of a guy who bugs me constantly to do it again and again. It's obviously a huge turn on for him, which is great, but when he starts to become a pest about it, you have to wonder whose pleasure it's really about.
Akasha
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