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RE: Focus - 3/18/2007 3:57:56 PM

Elorin

Posts: 970
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: San Antonio, TX
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My advice is daily journalling. Each day, take time to write (by hand or online) and focus on your purpose.

When you start to lose your focus, remind yourself - you chose this. Why you chose this. What you get out of this. And that you serve him by overcoming our issues. And if doing that mentally is not enough for you, rereading the journal entries you have written may help you re-find your focus.

Don't beat yourself up as you lose your focus. Communicate with your Dom and your alpha sub, realize that jealousy is fine, it is how you behave in response to jealousy that can be negative, and give yourself some slack. This is a new environment, a new situation, and it will take time for everything to settle down. Give yourself a chance, and if you don't settle in to everything immediately, it's ok. You are human too, and you will adjust in time.

Good luck!

~Elorin

(in reply to kyraofMists)

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RE: Focus - 3/18/2007 5:58:04 PM

aurora31

Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

Smiles you are so right kyra in that I do want it all. I don't know how much time I have left...the odds say it is a matter of months I pray that it will be yrs and plan on proving the odds wrong. Yet I don't want to miss out on experiancing my submission to the fullest.

I also have a very high set of standards for myself. Ways that I expect myself to behave, ideals that I hold true of what my submission means to me and how I express it. My Sir has very similar ways of thinking or I would not be serving him. So when I don't live up to those standards I do tend to get very down on myself but I also try to find ways to overcome those issues to. I get in trouble lots for beating myself up "thats not my job" my job is to find ways to overcome them and grow from them and I look for help in doing this where ever I can. From my Sir, from my alpha, from my sister, from friends like you and your lord that I know strictly on-line (something I hope to change soon), from realtime friends and from boards like this. I will use every opertunity I have to grow.

Wanting it all now is something I am learning to overcome to. Which means things are never at the pace I want...but paitence is slowly becoming one of my better traits. Keeping my focus on him and serving him makes all of this so much easier.

Thank you for your kind words.

aurora

< Message edited by aurora31 -- 3/18/2007 6:09:15 PM >

(in reply to kyraofMists)

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RE: Focus - 3/18/2007 6:08:29 PM

aurora31

Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
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Smiles...thank you Elorin, journaling is a requirement in this house on a daily basis and nothing we write there can be used against us so it is a good way to vent our frustrations and to know we are safe in doig so...but it also lets Sir into our heads and what is going on with us especially with someone like me who has a really hard time expressing herself verbally. I also tend to put everyone in the house ahead of me understanding their needs and putting my own asaide. I am learning this is not always a good thing and am trying to be a little more agressive in saying hey look at me I am here too. It is just a matter of learning how to do this in a positive way.

I have so much to learn still and this is a never ending path I know, and although I have come along way I still have only just begun.

I have started to affectionatly call my struggles growing pains. I know they will come and go but as long as I am experiancing them from time to time I know that I have not stoped growing.

aurora

(in reply to Elorin)

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Post #: 23