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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 4:43:35 AM

Dnomyar

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Put your foot in dadeesgurl ass and see if she feels and Dominate vibes from that. Shit happens. Learn from it.

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 5:08:20 AM

MasterNdorei

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Since the other couple are only active in BDSM in bed together, it should come as no surprise that they view a more intense lifestyle as, well, more intense. It would be too much for them, so they made you out to be barbaric, and made a play for your girl.

It may have been hard for her to leave, to stand up for you when it was just her against 2 of them, in their home, and she may have been confused about how you would want her to handle it if it was never discussed. Would she dishonor you by leaving early?

She finished what you sent her out to do. She came home to you, and told you what happened. i disagree with the ones posting that her behavior indicates a fault within her, or something you should be suspicious about.

When you have a desirable girl, you have to know this is going to happen. Your insecurity about it is what concerns me for the relationship.

Master's dorei

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 5:50:13 AM

Dnomyar

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Good answer MasterNdorei. Insecurity is a bane that a lot of people in this lifestyle need to work on.

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Post #: 23

RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 6:03:57 AM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERLJ

After our first weekend of fun filled activitys, i agreed that Jen could spend a weekend with them. No sooner did she spend one night, than I was bombarded with accusations of being an abuser of power, abusing my wife and just downright not knowing what BDSM is all about....

I guess I'd start with Jen and ask her what she may have said that gave them this impression.

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Post #: 24

RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 7:34:26 AM

MasterFireMaam

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You'll find crappy people in all walks of life who will manipulate anyone and everyone to get what they want. Simply be grateful you found out in the beginning and move on. There's really nothing else to do, as annoying and frustrating as it is.

Master Fire

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 7:36:55 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Plenty of people will try and end your relationship- whether it's a well meaning friend who doesn't understand the dynamics, or an ill-meaning horny couple trying to get a new piece of ass.

As others have already said, the cards are on the table, it's obvious, they can't do anything to your relationship unless one of you allows it, stop contact with them and move on.

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Post #: 26

RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 7:49:58 AM

dawntreader

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERLJ

After our first weekend of fun filled activitys, i agreed that Jen could spend a weekend with them. No sooner did she spend one night, than I was bombarded with accusations of being an abuser of power, abusing my wife and just downright not knowing what BDSM is all about....

I guess I'd start with Jen and ask her what she may have said that gave them this impression.

Now THAT is a good point!!!

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 8:01:05 AM

MasterFireMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERLJ

After our first weekend of fun filled activitys, i agreed that Jen could spend a weekend with them. No sooner did she spend one night, than I was bombarded with accusations of being an abuser of power, abusing my wife and just downright not knowing what BDSM is all about....

I guess I'd start with Jen and ask her what she may have said that gave them this impression.

Now THAT is a good point!!!

Wait...if you're automatically going to second guess your partner FIRST...maybe it might be time to re-evalutate the relationship. If you can't trust your slave...well...

Master Fire

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Post #: 28

RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 6:02:49 PM

Celeste43

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Well you certainly ought to learn a lesson from this but it doesn't appear as though you have. The lesson being not to rush into play with anyone who is interested but to control your own urges until you have learned enough about the other parties to know whether or not you are compatible.

You might also learn not to badtalk their relationship about her being the dom just because their relationship is different than yours. But as you do just that, then it seems only fair that they disparage yours in return.

Good manners and self discipline go a long way in this world. Why not try some?

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Post #: 29

RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 6:11:27 PM

kittyforMaster

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quote:

ORIGINAL: frostyslave

I would err on the side of caution and lock her in the basement for a few weeks. You just can't trust women these days with divorce rates running near 50%.

i have absolutely no intention of leaving my Master, but i would enjoy the the basement treatment - maybe if i beg...?

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Post #: 30

RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 9:19:38 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear MasterLJ, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my mind's eyes I see, the bedroom is limited and also based on 'sex' and not the basis of anything that moves from the physical into the mental and spiritual realms.

Swingers have their protocols and kinky swingers as the seemingly appear to be based on your side of the story. But, the 'line' that crosses over from Swinging into BDSM and or D/s and or M/s relationships can be most blurred at time, especially if one side only sees the kinky swinging sex.

As far as stealing your wife away, several have made wonderful 'logic' explainations as to perhaps 'why' this happened. The heart of the concern though for me, is the other's 'spirit of intent.' Sadism and masochism isn't always understood, to which some refuse to look beyond the 'blinders' like horse's wear when in harness and pulling a load. They seemingly, by your accounts are hauling a load of cow pies.

What is more important -- is your relationship. All outsiders, to include me, are not important. Advice can be given but, its really the couple and their relationship that is important. Everybody practices some form or another. Although contrary to your measure of what would be tolerant would not be to others, so it is the same with 'them.'

I do understand the posed question by LotusSong. Sometimes people using terms or conversation with ease to those who aren't as 'involved' and or 'educated,' may have taken something your slave said serious instead of figuratively. Sometimes it pays dividends to what how things are said or, explain things as to take the 'surprise, shock and awe' out of the experience.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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Post #: 31

RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 10:29:39 PM

WhiplashSmile

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The thing about swingers is a code of conduct is followed. In terms of BDSM, these types of code are not beat into everybody's brains as it is with swinging.

Yes, people will attempt to steal your girl. Happens with the Nilla world too.. where you have to watch your back with your friends. This is not limited to BDSM. Some people are just out for themselves. They wil take advantage of situations if they can...

You always have to watch it with Poly play...

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 10:34:29 PM

dawntreader

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERLJ

After our first weekend of fun filled activitys, i agreed that Jen could spend a weekend with them. No sooner did she spend one night, than I was bombarded with accusations of being an abuser of power, abusing my wife and just downright not knowing what BDSM is all about....

I guess I'd start with Jen and ask her what she may have said that gave them this impression.

Now THAT is a good point!!!

Wait...if you're automatically going to second guess your partner FIRST...maybe it might be time to re-evalutate the relationship. If you can't trust your slave...well...

Master Fire

i am not saying to second guess or not trust the slave... but by asking Jen what went on and what was said, he might would get his answer. Sometimes we say things that others take out of context~

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Post #: 33

RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/15/2007 12:02:05 AM

BeachMystress

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It is unfortunatly common that people will attempt to poach submissives. I've never had someone I count as a friend do this to me, but I've had many strangers try it over the years. I've even had people try to physically move in on my husband in a dungeon after a scene when I've just walked out the door to run to the restroom.

I've always thought of people trying to poach subs as the high school equivalent of all the girls wanting your boyfriend now that he has a girlfriend.. when they couldn't have cared less about him before he was involved. To me, it's kind of an attempted one upping by those who are not quite secure in and of themselves.

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/15/2007 8:26:42 AM

SirDominic

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Your real question, as I understand your post is "Is stealing or attempted stealing of subs/slaves a common practice in BDSM?" Unfortunately, I don't think a survey has ever been done. We need a modern day Kinsey in a bad way! So, there really is no answer to your question if it is common or not.

It certainly does happen. As several people have already suggested, it is probably as common in this lifestyle as trying to steal a girlfriend or wife, or have an affair with a woman married to someone else is in the vanilla world.

That being said, to answer your final question, yea, it was probably just a bad weekend. I don't think you will find this to be an ongoing regular problem in your fetish lifestyle. If it does become an ongoing problem, you need to look closely at the relationship dynamics between you and her.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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Post #: 35

RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/15/2007 9:22:24 AM

Bearlee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERLJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

. she can't be stolen unless she wants to be.

Ok gotcha......but my thing is this......they really tryed hard to convince she needed to be stolen. What i am getting at is....do people try to forcibly steal slaves. Or is this just a fluke.....I understand a willingness to be stolen.....Jen and i talked about that.....and it is something she is researching. I think it might be interesting.....but not if she wasn't willing.

Heyyyyyyyyyy! Didn’t any of you people see The Pet??? Yes, there are people out there willing to forcibly steal slaves…especially if they’re young, pretty and have healthy organs.

One cannot be too careful; you outta keep your wife on a short leash!!!

Really!

I mean it too!!!
bearlee

< Message edited by Bearlee -- 3/15/2007 9:28:09 AM >

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/17/2007 4:56:53 AM

scarlettuk

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Swingers have their protocols and kinky swingers as the seemingly appear to be based on your side of the story. But, the 'line' that crosses over from Swinging into BDSM and or D/s and or M/s relationships can be most blurred at time, especially if one side only sees the kinky swinging sex.

Well said LadyHug know how difficult it is for swingers to forget the protocols previous used when enter this life then to follow the ones we all use in bdsm

In my mind's eyes I see, the bedroom is limited and also based on 'sex' and not the basis of anything that moves from the physical into the mental and spiritual realms.

It's the mental and spiritual side that many friends still in swinging have trouble understanding since began my personal journey in a d/s relationship They still consider it as merely kinky sex which we know it's not.

When both partners originate from swinging this learning of the different protocols is more difficult than is one has long standing within bdsm life.

< Message edited by scarlettuk -- 3/17/2007 4:57:25 AM >

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/17/2007 7:54:07 AM

LordODiscipline

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Believe it or not - there are actual people in leather, BDSM, the "lifestyle", etc.

And, as they are "people" - there are a variety of personalities... just as you might find in any other group or population.

That being said - I have "heard" of such once before... and, then it was people who tried this and were never heard from in the community again.

So - it is rare - but, there are assholes no matter where you go.. just a matter of discovering them and alleviating your life of them.

Don;t sweat the small stuff... and, it is all small when you are doing what you enjoy.
~J

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/17/2007 8:04:49 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

Heyyyyyyyyyy! Didn’t any of you people see The Pet??? Yes, there are people out there willing to forcibly steal slaves…especially if they’re young, pretty and have healthy organs.

One cannot be too careful; you outta keep your wife on a short leash!!!

Really!

I mean it too!!!
bearlee

Creepy!

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/17/2007 8:06:55 AM

tempest1961

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quote:

Anybody got some input here? Is stealing common practice? Or did i just meet some weirdos?

From what I have scene over the years.... Their are very few packs that run like that. That is, stealing/coveting members of another pack. That crosses over to D/s and M/s couples also. While it is a reasonable dynamic for some, it is grounds for ostracism or worse among my pack and those we run with.

In other words, you found some weirdos, and I'd stop seeing them entirely. If they continue contact, well, there are things you can do to teach them a lesson....

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