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Mistress for a couple... - 4/3/2005 5:12:11 PM

Kruzkontrol

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Years ago I was exposed to this lifestyle and fell in love with it. I’m a switch and a novice, while my wife is a submissive and at time it seem as if undecided about this lifestyle. To solve this dilemma I would like to introduce a Domme to our play, I think my wife (a little bi curious) would enjoy what I grew to love and I can enjoy my submissive side.

My question is, is my thinking completely wrong?
Do Dommes like playing with couples?
Is introducing a Domme to our relationship wrong?

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RE: Mistress for a couple... - 4/4/2005 8:04:18 AM

SweetDommes

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I have actually suggested this to a couple before who were in a similar situation (although the guy who claimed to be switch just oozed submissiveness - my opinion is that knowing what a sub wants and how to give it to them does not make one dominant at all ... but hey, that's apparently just me).
Some Dommes do enjoy having couples - not many, but some. Your search will be difficult.
If you haven't talked to your wife about this, it is definately wrong to be looking already - talk to her first, then start looking for someone. If you talk to her, and you both feel that this is the right move, and that your relationship can withstand the stresses of adding another person (in whatever capacity) then go for it - otherwise, you will either have to learn to live with the current situation, or leave it.

Miss Karen

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RE: Mistress for a couple... - 4/4/2005 6:55:28 PM

FangsNfeet

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I don't find it wrong. However, I'd like to know more about your submissive side. Is if pain and bondage that you seek or true domination every now and then that your spouse just dosen't want to do?

Also, are you looking for a 3some and sex with this dommina? Domination dosen't have to lead to sex or perhaps she will just bondage the two of you together while poping out the whip and flogger.

As for your post, it's not wrong as long as your spouse wants to submit to it.

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RE: Mistress for a couple... - 4/8/2005 5:04:33 AM

Overlord218

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Uh oh, I just KNOW I'm about to be crucified for this...

With all due respect, you may be a switch when it comes to bedroom play, but IMHO, from a pure lifestyle perspective, there's no such thing as a switch. you either have a Dominant or a submissive mindset... there IS no in between.

There, I've said it. To all those "purists" out there, feel extremely free to point out to Me the error of My ways. Be warned though, your argument will need to be incredibly convincing.

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RE: Mistress for a couple... - 4/8/2005 5:22:22 AM

stef

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Just what is a "pure lifestyle perspective" anyway?

~stef

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RE: Mistress for a couple... - 4/8/2005 5:42:06 AM

BeachMystress

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Ya know, I read a very thought provoking article on Switching this afternoon. http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdswitch.html I suggest you go and read it.

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RE: Mistress for a couple... - 4/8/2005 5:51:21 AM

BeachMystress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kruzkontrol
My question is, is my thinking completely wrong?
Do Dommes like playing with couples?
Is introducing a Domme to our relationship wrong?

Introducing a Domme to your relationship isn't wrong (by the way, why did you post this in ask a Master instead of ask a Mistress?) but it could be a destabilizing influence. What your wife might see, rather than the joy of submission, is you fixated on another woman.

Some Domme like couples. Before I met my current sub, I would have enjoyed a submissive couple. I had a few meetings with one couple, but they weren't fond of my sub at the time, and I refused to not have him involved, so it didn't work out.

What you might want to do is actually find a pro who is willing to session couple. This takes away the relationship with another woman aspect of it so your wife hopefully won't end up feeling threatened. It could be one of those trips to Vegas things.. you know those commercials they are doing now.. "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." so if she really hates it, she can put it down to Sin City. Besides, having it as part of a trip would make things even more exciting.

Good Luck!

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RE: Mistress for a couple... - 4/8/2005 6:30:28 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Overlord218
With all due respect, you may be a switch when it comes to bedroom play, but IMHO, from a pure lifestyle perspective, there's no such thing as a switch. you either have a Dominant or a submissive mindset... there IS no in between.

Being a switch isn't being "In between" or "on the fence" It's being on BOTH fences.

This is how most people see bisexuality

heterosexual<-----------bisexual---------->homosexual

When this isn't the case at all. This is a lot more of what bisexuality "looks like."

attracted to males<----------------->not attracted to males

attracted to females<--------------->not attracted to females

A person could be all the way on both sides of the line, or on one end of one line and the other end of the other, or somewhere in between of both. Bisexual is not just a "place in between" caught between choosing. It's a multi-layered dynamic, totally dependent upon each individual.

Same with bdsm.

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RE: Mistress for a couple... - 4/8/2005 5:14:20 PM

Overlord218

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sfgrrl

Just what is a "pure lifestyle perspective" anyway?

~stef

To Me, lifestyle is anything outside the bedroom door. A lot of folks in the scene are sexually submissive or Dominant, but once the play has finished, they go back to their "normal" lives.

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RE: Mistress for a couple... - 4/8/2005 5:21:11 PM

Overlord218

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

Ya know, I read a very thought provoking article on Switching this afternoon. http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdswitch.html I suggest you go and read it.

Thanks for that Sis. I read it thoroughly and the author makes some valid points. However, the passage that springs to mind In fact, one can easily argue that by exploring both roles, and being familiar with the headspace and psychological experience of both dominance and submission, a person can get a better grasp of the dynamic of power exchange--better, in fact, than the person who is familiar only with one part of it.
struck a chord with Me. I'm a huge believer in getting into a sub's "head" to explore her. Isn't that really the same thing? I KNOW who and what I am. The fact I want to explore her submissiveness doesn't mean I'm looking at it personally... if that makes any sense at all.

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RE: Mistress for a couple... - 4/8/2005 6:10:58 PM

SweetDommes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Overlord218

Uh oh, I just KNOW I'm about to be crucified for this...

With all due respect, you may be a switch when it comes to bedroom play, but IMHO, from a pure lifestyle perspective, there's no such thing as a switch. you either have a Dominant or a submissive mindset... there IS no in between.

There, I've said it. To all those "purists" out there, feel extremely free to point out to Me the error of My ways. Be warned though, your argument will need to be incredibly convincing.

I am a switch - to my girlfriend, I can do either, but I prefer to sub to her or be on even ground rather than dominating her - to our boys, I am Dominant, I do not sub to them, ever. I normally identify as a Domme, but technically, because I do enjoy submitting to Holly (and not just in the bedroom, mind you) I am a switch.

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