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Cat Haiku - 3/14/2007 6:04:37 PM

pinksugarsub

Posts: 1224
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You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
elevator butt.

I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! good dog! good dog!

The rule for today.
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
Cat vomit hairball somewhere.
Will find in morning.

Grace personified
I leap into the window
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then-
Silence, me, a paper bag
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds
Your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing
Well, let's see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.

Terrible battle
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a "term paper"?

Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don't leave tarp around.

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner.

Want to trim my claws
Don't even think about it!
My yelps will wake the dead.

I want to be close
To you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper.
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in the bed, then screams!
My claws aren't that sharp....

Cats meow out of angst
"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much".

Litter box not there
You must have moved it again
I'll crap in the sink.

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
time for "Cup Hockey".

We're almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt?

pinksugarsub

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RE: Cat Haiku - 3/14/2007 6:08:38 PM

RWAble

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Joined: 1/5/2007
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CUTE

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RE: Cat Haiku - 3/14/2007 6:28:25 PM

hobbit9sub4u

Posts: 130
Joined: 10/29/2006
From: Bates Motel(florida)
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that is the most wonderful poem! is it ok if i send it to my mom?

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RE: Cat Haiku - 3/14/2007 7:45:53 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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Very funny! I've seen it in several places on the net. Thanks for sharing it again.

Master Fire

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RE: Cat Haiku - 3/14/2007 7:48:02 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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Excellent! I loved it :)

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RE: Cat Haiku - 3/15/2007 10:56:38 AM

Saratov

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Joined: 10/22/2005
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Gonna have to hide that from my cats... they will decide that I have been told and should now understand and should now be a better staff member.

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RE: Cat Haiku - 3/15/2007 5:04:08 PM

Termyn8or

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pink, lemme guess, you have a cat :-)

T

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RE: Cat Haiku - 3/15/2007 11:12:29 PM

sparkledaemon

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/7/2006
From: Around Stockton, Ca.
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Absolutely brilliant, especially the first and last. Now I know where my cat got all her crazy ideas. =)

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RE: Cat Haiku - 3/16/2007 12:30:25 AM

Termyn8or

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My name is Chip
I will not slip
Nor lose my grip

On my master's shoulder
It was like a holder
When I got older

I use my paws
Not my claws
For my holder on that shoulder

For what ever he would search
I would see from my perch
From up atop that shoulder

I would jump in the air
And get up there
Up on his kitten holder

Never a fear
when........

I have no more, help would be nice, but this really is true about Chip. I mentioned that he used to traverse the back of the couch, but he started to like to sit on our shoulder. Well I took the next step and walked with "him" up there. Did this all the time, the cat loved it. Lazy fuck lol.

Yup. figures my legs are longer sooooo, hey you know what they say about owning a cat, can't be done, they own you.

Anyway, Chip had such a male personality we never sexed him, err her. He got pregnant !. He's damnwell sexed now !

Lol, very fond memories.

Yup, alot of times I could be eating lunch and give him some of the ham off a sandwich or soimething off a pizza or something, but too much is no good. Food was not the reason he stuck to me like glue. He normally ate cat food.

Actually I won't use food in the training of a domesticated animal, maybe a wild animal, but a cat born on premisis does not qualify. We never had to. Positive reinforcement worked 95% of the time. Of course my si(ni)ster hypnotized them, too !.

We had some good cats, very good cats, but that was before cable.

T

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RE: Cat Haiku - 3/20/2007 3:44:11 AM

MistressTexas

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Tears were running down my face as I wondered who had captured my ktty with such perfection!

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RE: Cat Haiku - 3/20/2007 7:16:23 AM

SunNMoon