Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

New Fem Dom Pls Help


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> New Fem Dom Pls Help Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
New Fem Dom Pls Help - 3/15/2007 1:04:27 PM   
DeliciousDom


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/15/2007
Status: offline 		Hi everyone,

I am a new Fem Dom and loving everey minute of my new found status.

However I feel I need more guidence from more experienced Fem Doms.

Someone please help.

Reguards

DeliciousDom

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New Fem Dom Pls Help - 3/15/2007 1:11:35 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Hi DD

I'm sure you will be able to pick up lots of information, advice and ideas in the multitude of threads on this boards - I've been on here since last June and in that time I think its likely covered just about every subject imaginable, plus a few that I at least, never possibly could have imagined.

You might also wish to rewrite your OP (original post) and add something more to your profile. The way it comes across at the moment is very much like the ones that come in here from time to time, written by males trolling for, lets call it inspiration.

As things are, I'm not far from you (assuming Birmingham to be W Midlands, not Alabama) and would be more than prepared to meet up to swap ideas; let me know.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to DeliciousDom)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New Fem Dom Pls Help - 3/15/2007 1:12:46 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Can you be just a bit more specific with your question?  What kind of help would you like to receive?  If you've just begun, I'm sure you realize that there is a whole, vast world out there for you to explore.

(in reply to DeliciousDom)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New Fem Dom Pls Help - 3/15/2007 1:18:00 PM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline 		I am happy to help as best I can and would like to invite you to:

http://www.femsupreme.com/village

a free femdom community. We have articles, stories, interviews, forums, etc. Its all femdom & a great place to learn & share


_____________________________



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New Fem Dom Pls Help - 3/17/2007 3:39:27 PM   
TigressFL


Posts: 239
Joined: 6/8/2006
Status: offline 		I suggest that you become active in your local BDSM scene. It is a great way to meet new like minded people and learn a great deal. It will help you a lot more than getting help "online".  Nothing is better than hands on :)

~Tigress~FL

(in reply to DiannaVesta)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New Fem Dom Pls Help - 3/17/2007 3:59:15 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		I suggest you do reading, websurfing and find a realtime munch group to join. 
 
 Reading material could include:

Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns - A great book, but written from a Dom, female sub point of view. It is probably the best overall book, and one that should be in your library. It is also a bit overwhelming for someone new to the lifestyle.

The New Topping Book- This has been my favorite of all the books so far. I found it to be accessible and easy to read. This book is more of a S/m book, but a lot of the concepts are the same. I highly recommend it.

The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners - This book is good for a beginner. It isn't overwhelming. It talks some about the mental state of a new Dominant. It is worth picking up and having a look.

The Art of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women - This one is also a good candidate for a beginner. I'd order both into Barnes and Noble or whatever local store of yours does special ordering and glance through both. Pick up the one that catches your attention better. They both contain about the same information.

The Family Jewels: A Guide to Male Genital Play and Torment - This is a good introduction to the male genital anatomy. Sooner or later, all Domme seem to use some sort of penile interaction. It is a wonderful source of control. Learn how to do it safely.

Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual - This is the one I'm in the middle of reading now. It is also basic material, but covers some stuff not done in the other books. The style is easy to follow. It isn't overly wordy, so it isn't an intimidating book. It is a good overview book, touching lightly on many subjects and is one you can actually imagine yourself reading cover to cover. I'd say it plus either "Sexually Dominant Woman" or "Art of Sensual Female Dominance" will get you on your way.

Female Dominance: Rituals and Practices - I've not read this one. It's a pretty new book and still in hardcover. I'm waiting for it to come in paper before I purchase it.


Other books that may be useful for you:

Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely
by Bill Henkin, Sybil Holiday

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1881943127/ref=cm_bg_f_3/002-5986748-9777619?v=glance&n=283155
===
Bondage on a Budget
by Alison Tyler (Editor), Dante Davidson (Editor)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1576121690/ref=cm_lm_fullview_prod_9/002-5986748-9777619?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155
===
Flogging
by Joseph W. Bean

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1890159271/ref=pd_sim_b_3/002-5986748-9777619?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155
===
Safe Beginnings : An Exploration of BDSM Lifestyles
by Goddess Lakshimi

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1932517006/ref=cm_lm_fullview_prod_6/002-5986748-9777619?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155
====
21st Century Kinkycrafts
by Janet W. Hardy (Editor)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1890159581/ref=pd_sim_b_1/002-5986748-9777619?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155
====
The Compleat Spanker
by Lady Green

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/189015900X/ref=cm_lm_fullview_prod_15/002-5986748-9777619?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance&n=283155
===
SlaveCraft: Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude--Principles, Skills and Tools
by Guy Baldwin

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1881943143/ref=pd_sbs_b_4/002-0462390-2712035?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance
====
Partners in Power: Living in Kinky Relationships
by Jack Rinella

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1890159506/ref=pd_sim_b_6/002-0462390-2712035?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance
====
Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook
by Jay Wiseman

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1890159131/ref=pd_sim_b_4/002-0462390-2712035?%5Fencoding=UTF8&v=glance


 
Yes there are a lot of links with a lot of info here. But learning to control someone isn't something you do overnight. 
 
Websites:

http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/domadvic.html

http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/encyclopervia/Advice:_Masters

http://www.domsub.info/punishment.html

http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdwanttobedom.html

http://www.domsub.info/rulesformasters.html

http://www.domsub.info/trainingtheory.html

http://www.vanilla-not.com/basics/tendom.html

http://www.seekers.org.uk/Dominant%20Section.htm

http://www.sscn.org/abuse.html

http://www.wizdomme.com/infopack/

http://www.venusenvy.ca/Resources/SaferBDSM.asp

http://www.nlacolumbus.com/education/sm101/smbasic.html

http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/domhaven.php3

http://fetishexchange.org/protocol-and-etiquette.shtml

http://www.castlerealm.com/

http://www.vanilla-not.com/

http://www.akashaweb.com/goodgirl.html

http://www.msmargaretdavis.com/notonovc.html

http://no.place.like.home.mindspring.com/abbot/articles/jl980105.htm

http://www.nlacolumbus.com/education/sm101/smtoys.html

http://www.the-vox.com/bdsm.shtml

http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/chcane.html

http://www.domsub.info/breastprimer.html

http://www.erotic-bdsm.net/Articles/The_Collar.html

http://gloria-brame.com/domidea/playsafe.htm

http://www.leathernroses.com/generalbdsm/jerseyaftercare.htm

http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/docs/aftercare.htm

Place to check for local munches:
 
http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/ukorgs.html
 
http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/uk/
 
http://domsubfriends.com/cgi-local/wwwdir/db.cgi?db=org&uid=default&country=UNITED+KINGDOM&view_records=View+Records&ww=on

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to DeliciousDom)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New Fem Dom Pls Help - 3/17/2007 4:06:59 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual - This is the one I'm in the middle of reading now. It is also basic material, but covers some stuff not done in the other books. The style is easy to follow. It isn't overly wordy, so it isn't an intimidating book. It is a good overview book, touching lightly on many subjects and is one you can actually imagine yourself reading cover to cover. I'd say it plus either "Sexually Dominant Woman" or "Art of Sensual Female Dominance" will get you on your way.

 
Whoops! I should have given the link to Erotic Slavehood: A Miss Abernathy Omnibus instead! It not only contains Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual but also Training With Miss Abernathy: A Workbook for Erotic Slaves and Their Owners The compendium is cheaper than the Concise Slave Training Manual, and "Training with" is out of print as a stand alone volume. Excelent value!

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New Fem Dom Pls Help - 3/18/2007 6:35:08 AM   
DeliciousDom


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/15/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you to eveyrone ror all your replies and help

Regards,

Delicious Dom



(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New Fem Dom Pls Help - 4/22/2007 8:42:09 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Usually, but not always, the Femmdomme groups here are kind of snippy with other femm domme groups, Like this one totaly hates this other one and will bash it, plus there's a lot of coniving and back stabbing, and generall bitchyness in a lot of the groups here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TigressFL

I suggest that you become active in your local BDSM scene. It is a great way to meet new like minded people and learn a great deal. It will help you a lot more than getting help "online".  Nothing is better than hands on :)

~Tigress~FL



_____________________________

Most of the time if it looks like BS, smells like BS, you probably should not t taste it to see if, in fact, it is BS.


(in reply to TigressFL)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New Fem Dom Pls Help - 4/22/2007 9:00:02 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

Usually, but not always, the Femmdomme groups here are kind of snippy with other femm domme groups, Like this one totaly hates this other one and will bash it, plus there's a lot of coniving and back stabbing, and generall bitchyness in a lot of the groups here.

Unfortunately, this can be true. Not everyone in the lifestyle is as mature or secure in their roles as others. This is true of any group, not just FemDom ones. Some people feel that in order to rise themselves up, they have to put others down. Sometimes this is due to a lack of maturity and others it is due to the fact that they don't understand how to control any other way. But Denigrating another and attempting to rob them of their power demeans the Dominant. When I see someone do it, I feel they do not have the personal power, understanding of human nature and presence of will to control a functioning, mature individual. But, no matter the reason they do it, the result is disharmony. Part of the journey of a Dominant is to realize that this isn't a competition with others, but within ones self. Putting them down can never truly raise us up.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New Fem Dom Pls Help - 4/22/2007 9:10:28 PM   
TheDiva


Posts: 129
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL
Status: offline 		That was a mighty comprehensive list of resources, BeachMystress!

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New Fem Dom Pls Help - 4/22/2007 11:20:13 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Your most precious tool in your arsenal is an honest (or primal, even better) enjoyment of power over a man for your own pleasure.  If an ounce of you must "fake it" or if your intentions are clearly outside of this pleasure, you may face frustration and obstacles.  A woman can learn a variety of "techniques" in the femdom realm, but what a submissive man responds to is the thirst she has for it, the pleasure she gets from it, and the natural hunger for more. That's the foundation, and the skills you build on top are all gravy.  So much is just in the smile on your face. Make him melt.

Enjoy yourself!

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to DeliciousDom)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New Fem Dom Pls Help - 4/22/2007 11:38:08 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline 		I agree with Akasha that enjoying power over the male is essential. I think for most Domme, it is something they learn though. While I started manipulating men at 14 and went on to full blown domination at 17, most women didn't. Society traditionally taught young women to be nurturing care takers. (Thank heavens for my father and his "Women can do anything men can do so get over here and help me change the oil in this car" attitude.) While I'm seeing a change in teaching that with the current generation, the prior ones can still have a problem with "being mean" or "hurting" someone. Many women literally have to give themselves permission to "be mean." For a while, they may have to play act the Domme role to learn how to do it. I do not feel this early "faking it" is a bad thing. It gives the woman a chance to learn skills and experiment with the different forms of Domination. My feeling is that over time, the women who were meant to be Dominant will find what is right for them and end up doing things only because they enjoy them. Other women may realize that while they are kinky, this isn't the role for them and either move on to being a switch or sub. And there will be those that after a period of time trying it out, will go back to being vanilla with maybe a lil silk scarf to the bedpost action.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: New Fem Dom Pls Help - 4/23/2007 8:10:20 AM   
SlaveSubtoserve


Posts: 282
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Your most precious tool in your arsenal is an honest (or primal, even better) enjoyment of power over a man for your own pleasure.  If an ounce of you must "fake it" or if your intentions are clearly outside of this pleasure, you may face frustration and obstacles.  A woman can learn a variety of "techniques" in the femdom realm, but what a submissive man responds to is the thirst she has for it, the pleasure she gets from it, and the natural hunger for more. That's the foundation, and the skills you build on top are all gravy.  So much is just in the smile on your face. Make him melt.

Enjoy yourself!

Akasha




.....so right Akasha!

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 14
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> New Fem Dom Pls Help Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094