Needing Anal Sex Advice (Full Version)

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lilbuttboy -> Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/4/2005 6:46:11 AM)

For quite a while now I've been into anal sex. I get to go out with a guy about 1-2 month, and usually always end up getting fucked in the ass at the end of the nite to satisfy my partner. Okay, the first time he is in my ass he can fuck me hard or light, and I love it. I really get off on it. It usually makes me cum even without someone sucking me off. Okay, the both of us usually gets off and I lay back and relax. Then at some point, he'll want to go again and that's where my problems arise...

When taking it the second time, it starts to hurt. Most say this is when I need to tell him to stop and to not do anything else. Okay, I usually do that and I get a sad look but an okay I understand look. My guy understands, but still needs to get off. Yes, I work him with my mouth and hands, but it isn't the same for him.

My question is, how do I start being able to take more cock more easily? Do I grin and bare it? Does the pain go away if it isn't a sharp pain? In other words, is the whole "have them stop anytime it hurts" advice bunk in some ways? (Like there is only certain types of pain one needs to worry about.) I think my ass is just wanting to reject something and maybe if I can push past the pain it will become pleasureable again once I can relearn to relax?

This isn't me just wanting to talk dirty or anything like that. It is a serious problem for me. I dream of being gangbanged, but if I can't take just one guy twice that is out of the question.

Any help is VERY appreciated.



sweetpleaser -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/4/2005 11:38:18 AM)

You are talking about a very sensitive area, literally. Have you tried the other way first, then anally second? He'll have more of an added "anticipaton" high and you won't be too "pained". Hope it works out.

PS: nice tush[;)]



lilbuttboy -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/4/2005 12:26:37 PM)

The other way first meaning using my hands/mouth, then letting him get off the second time in my ass? Yes, that would work. But, my usual partner prefers my ass and I would like to have him in there longer than I usually do... I've been told just to use toys every other day to keep things in shape. I try, but it's hard to do this often. Maybe I am just lazy...



pandoravampire -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/4/2005 2:47:22 PM)

hello there,
i think trying other ways first is a quick fix and excellent idea.

perhaps though consider the following also:

You dont come the first time round, so that your arousal is higher the second, your need is still there and that usually helps me 'put up and shut up'[;)]

You add toys to yourself, vibrating cock ring/chemical enhanced lubes/ginger to intensify your stimulation the second time round.

You add toys to Him the second time round to hasten the whole thing, thus cutting the time factor of discomfort.

You go on top and control the pace the second time round, to lesson the feeling of your body rejecting something.

Discuss it with him and maybe he can share the responsibility in making it good for both of you with his own suggestions.

Talk to other bottoms, post here as you have for suggestions.
good luck[:)]



MzBerlin -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/4/2005 3:20:02 PM)

lilbuttboy-
You are not alone in this problem!! Usually the first go-round of assfucking is awesome for me, but I tend to be very uncomfortable the second time, also.
I have noticed that if I use A LOT of lube and if my partner spends some extra time "warming me up" that it's not as bad. I don't know why this is, either, and I wish someone had a theory.
Also, I haven't tried this, but maybe you could use a butt-plug in between round one and two to keep your ass "active." I am going to give this a go, and I'll get back to you if it works.
Good luck!
B



lilbuttboy -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/5/2005 7:10:05 AM)

MzBerlin,
I've been thinking about a butt plug as well. Anything to keep it stretched out I imagine. Another cock would probably do, but the freedom for multiple partners isn't always there...

Anyway, please share any experimentations with the plug. I have a hard vibrating one I can use I imagine, but need a good soft gel one for this use I think.



MzBerlin -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/5/2005 8:29:46 PM)

lilbuttboy
I think that a gel one would work best in this situation, although a vibrating one would keep you stimulated, but may be a bit much. If you get a chance to try it out before I do (it may be a week or two) please post and let me know. Just make sure to use a boatload of lube when inserting, as your ass will "eat" some of the lube and you don't want it to get dry while in there. **ouch**
Talk to you soon.
B



lilbuttboy -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/6/2005 9:12:49 AM)

Thank you all for your help, and certainly MzBerlin, for any additional research you might help me do.

From this and other discussions, I have compiled a quick list of tips I've collected:

• Must have proper lube
• Relax the anal muscles
• Anal in the shower: less fear of mess, warm water will help relax
• Objects used before, after, & during to help keep the asshole stretched.
• Wait longer between getting fucked. Also, keep from cumming as a bottom and wait until after the Top/Dom is finished. That way, there is more of an urge to get fucked...especially when getting gang banged.

Web links:
Artcile 1

Article 2

Article 3


I think keeping stretched out is one of my main problems. I think if kept stretched I would not run into the feelings I am having after the first run. ;) I won't, very sadly, have anytime soon to get to experiment with this. I am definately buying a gel butt plug though for when I do get to try. I would try alone, but it seems pointless since I am in control then. I am mostly wanting to prepare myself to give up my ass for a longer period time to get used by a Master. Right now, I am bad sometimes for I ask him to stop...it doesn't sit well with me at all. I know, I know, he needs to stop if I need him to stop for tearing reasons, but am sooo very hoping I can get to a point where I can just give it up anytime he wants it.



BigBeninLA -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/6/2005 12:20:04 PM)

Despite the bias indicated by its title, you might find the information in The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women by Tristan Taormino to be helpful. Ask, MzBerlin, as I am aware she's read it also, and possibly more recently than I.



lilbuttboy -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/6/2005 3:47:14 PM)

I've seen the video with Tristan that is more or less a condensed version of the book. I've always wanted to give it a read, so I guess I should now its in my mind again.



MzBerlin -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/6/2005 7:00:43 PM)

There is also a guide for men.
I have read them both, and they don't address this problem. I've scoped it out. Today, actually.
B


lilbuttboy-
If you're going to do the deed in the shower, make sure to use a silicone lube, like Eros. Waterbased seems to dissappear.....
B



SirKenin -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/6/2005 8:09:35 PM)

I am not homosexual, and I have never experienced anal sex, but I think I might be able to add something based upon the experiences I have had giving anal sex to women that might help you.

I honestly believe that it is a lot like having vaginal sex. When I do this, I give the woman a good workout. Usually by the end of it she is sore from getting it so much, yet satisfied as you are. The second time around, then, is the trick. I find what works is that you really have to get them stimulated. Lots of foreplay, cunnilingus, etc is mandated. They must be aroused to the point that they are very wet and then sex is a pleasure.

I have also noticed for anal sex that some women just can not handle it right off the hop. They need plenty of other stimulation first. This requires foreplay, plenty of sex, making sure the clitoris is extensively stimulated, etc. By the time their vagina is totally soaked I find that it is appropriate to get the lube out and give them anal sex, at which time it is easy to enter them and they can handle a good session without any problems.

What I would like to suggest to you then is to for you and your partner to give each other plenty of foreplay, both the first and the second times. Make sure lubed fingers are used first each time, moreso the second time than the first, and then attempt entry. I believe, based on My experiences, that this will cure the majority of the problems. Using a butt plug in between may not be such a bad idea, but without experiencing stimulation and intercourse I have a sneaky suspicion that it is going to hurt in a hell of a hurry.

you may not be able to last as long the second time around as the first, but I suspect that you will last longer if you try the suggestions I am giving to you. Certainly it has worked for Me.

Good luck with it regardless. I hope you find the solution to your "problem". [;)]



MzBerlin -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/7/2005 8:19:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

I am not homosexual, and I have never experienced anal sex, but I think I might be able to add something based upon the experiences I have had giving anal sex to women that might help you.




Kenin-
Anal sex is not just for homosexual men and heterosexual women. You really didn't need to put a disclaimer on your post.
B



SirKenin -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/7/2005 9:16:00 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MzBerlin

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

I am not homosexual, and I have never experienced anal sex, but I think I might be able to add something based upon the experiences I have had giving anal sex to women that might help you.




Kenin-
Anal sex is not just for homosexual men and heterosexual women. You really didn't need to put a disclaimer on your post.
B


True true. I never even thought of it that way. It was late... I'm sorry... I'll never do it again... *sobs profusely*




Ok, I was kidding.. But the first part was true. [;)]



lilbuttboy -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/7/2005 9:25:26 AM)

The sad thing about ass is that it really won't be any wetter with any more stimulation, but SirKenin is hitting on a few things.

I have noticed that it is better if I wait and cum absolutely after my man (or men) has finished. The other problem is that sometimes when getting fucked, I will cum without even touching my cock. So, perhaps a cock ring will help that from happening...

I think the biggest thing is that since I only have the freedom to get anal ever so often, I have to keep myself in shape with toys in between times.

Male 2 Male sex is quite a bit different than with females. I have had sex with women, and lean towards being more bi than gay, so I know about what I speak. hehe.

Men just want to get off. There is foreplay with men, but mostly it is just how to better get off the Top. Having an enema, getting lubed fingers, etc. is good foreplay for men and I imagine women. Women will probably need clitoral stimulation and such, but not sure if that would work with a guy. Well, replace clit with dick that is. For me, as long as I am horny, I am more receptive of cock inside me. Any playing with my cock while I am having or anticipating anal might work in reverse for me. I am thinking of asking my cock to be bound or somehow rendered unusable until it seems all are satisfied and that I can finally cum without fear of letting someone go unsatisfied.

I am beginning to figure it out I think... I think I will have to get off my lazy butt, and onto a dildo every other day to keep it in shape when alone. With that and the other techniques everyone has shared, I shouldn't have so many problems anymore.

Thanks to all. :) Any other comment is appreciated. Some great other advice in a simular thread here of course involving strap-ons. Basically the same line of advice, but here I mostly wanted to know how to take anal multiple times. I am really starting to admire those in gay gangbang videos. How they take a room full I don't know. Ice in the ass perhaps?



PaintedLady -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/7/2005 3:39:10 PM)

After a few really bad experiances, I was a strictly no anal type of girl- then I met a guy who did it right, and today it is a must for keeping me happy (thank you TC[:D]). While I have never been gangbanged There was a long weekend where I forgot to pack the condoms, and was'punished' by all assfucking all weekend (and it was a motorcycle trip!) so I know a lot about being sore[:(]

LUBE LUBE LUBE- and not just on you- grease the heck out of his cock! Don't use water based if it is going to be a repeat event- stick to something that lasts. I like olive oil, YMMV. I have learned that too much 'warming' up with fingers is not a good idea- just enough to get some lube up there is ideal. Fingers have knuckles and nails and callouses, all of which can be irriateing.

My best prep is a mineral oil enema- not more than a pint or so, and be kind to your colon! Warm it! in a pince, I use gylcerin suppositories that you can find at any drugstore- cleans you right out and leaves a nice slippery finish up there.



MzBerlin -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (4/15/2005 2:06:50 AM)

Painted lady-

Olive oil can be dangerous when used near your vagina. It can cause bacterial infections.
Also, mineral oil enemas are not recommended. Use PLAIN warm water. Glycerin and mineral oil is for when you're constipated, not for when you're just wanting an enema. (Unless it's an enema for constipation!! [8D]) It really isn't healthy all the time. Also, glycerin, if it gets into the vagina can also cause a bacterial infection and make some women more prone to yeast.

B



nephandi -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (12/20/2005 11:07:07 AM)

Well it is not so dangerous if it hurts a little, there might some tiny tears, but usualy they are not dagerous, it is a werry slight risk of getting a bad infection or hemoroids but usualy you are okey. i am often taken roughtly and often it hurts, my Dom then cheeks if there is any blood, if it is not, he just continues.

i hovever think that the reason the OP feel that way is becouse he get sore and his butt gett tired. i remember once my Dom had done anal fisting training on me, and after some time of begging and moaning and strething so i think i would split he desided to analy use me, now i was good and wide, but sinse i have a ealty ass it shrik back quikly, it hurt like hell when he then had sex whit me, i was just sore.

One of the reson for my Master`s fantasy of tying me to a chair and invite as many men he can find that want to and is willing to wear a condom to use my ass, as it would become more and more sore and tender unthil it would definitly not be plesant, completly safe, no, extremly dangrous, no.



BobbiSatin -> RE: Needing Anal Sex Advice (12/21/2005 7:15:41 AM)

Hey sugar,

This is a very interesting discussion, and one where I definately feel qualified to weigh in on. For occasional anal sex, the advice given is good and is what you will find in most of the "how to" guides for anal sex. For lifestyle play, and I mean every nite, the "outside in" approach will only get you so far. Most of us who have been lifestyle bottoms for years will tell you that for regular play, you need to take an "inside out" approach. This involves a lot of discipline, dietary changes, and regular workouts between sessions. If you are interested, I can e-mail you an article I wrote a few years ago for gay.com. Again, this is what has worked for me for 30 years, has had the full approval of my doctors over the years, and keeps me ready to perform on a moment's notice. Shoot me a note if you would like a copy, Huggs from Bobbi Satin



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