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BeachMystress -> RE: help (4/8/2005 6:21:55 AM)
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Ok, the first thing you do is go read and educate yourself. After viewing your profile, I can't imagine any but those playing at being subs bothering to respond to you. You say you're new to the lifestyle, seeking a live in sub/slave and don't want one with hard limits. Then you go on to say you will respect their limits and that you might like 24/7. I'm sorry to point out that it sounds like you don't have much of a clue what you're talking about. I'm not trying to be mean by pointing this out. I'm trying to make you realize that the desire to be a Dominant is not all their is to being a Dom/me. Lots of men love the thought of having a sex slave/woman to satisfy all their desires. That doesn't mean they have any idea how to command or control a sub.
Yes, we were all new at one time. We educated ourselves with books, the internet or mentors. I am an experienced Domme, yet I still actively seek out books, articles and more experienced players to acquire further knowledge. I usually reccomend going to a munch to new people, but after the exchanges with sub4hire, I suggest you educate yourself a bit before going. She actually asked a reasonable question. How do you know you're a Dom rather than just wanting to be one. You cyber-yelled at her with caps instead of controlling your response. If you can't deal with a question in a forum with thought out answers and just have to say I am what I am, you need more time educating yourself and considering what it is to be a Dom and what you expect to gain and give.
I have some links for people newer to BDSM at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Beachs_Dominion/links/Introductory_and_New_001112909490/
Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns - A great book, written from a Dom, female sub point of view. It is probably the best overall book, and one that should be in your library. It is also a bit overwhelming for someone new to the lifestyle.
The New Topping Book- This has been my favorite of all the books so far. I found it to be accessible and easy to read. This book is more of a S/m book, but a lot of the concepts are the same. I highly recommend it.
The Loving Dominant - I enjoyed the author's sense of humor. This is a good intro book that isn't too overwhelming.
My personal BDSM bookshelf includes:
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, The Loving Dominant, The New Topping Book, The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook for Nervous Beginners, The Art of Sensual Female Dominance, The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance, The Family Jewels: A Guide to Male Genital Play and Torment, S&M: Studies in Dominance and Submission, Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual, Training With Miss Abernathy, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction, The Manipulated Mind: Brainwashing, Conditioning and Indoctrination, Knots & Splices, Introducing Neuro-Linguistic Programming: Psychological Skills for Understanding and Influencing People and Words That Change Minds: Mastering the Language of Influence, Masochism: A Jungian View and Dominant Women Submissive Men: An Exploration in Erotic Dominance and Submission.
The books on my "to get" list:
Female Dominance (Sutton), Dominance, self-esteem, self-actualization: germinal papers of A. H. Maslow (The A. H. Maslow series), The Mastery of Submission: Inventions of Masochism (Cornell Studies in the History of Psychiatry), The Bonds of Love : Psychoanalysis, Feminism, & the Problem of Domination, Erotic Power: An Exploration of Dominance & Submission, Partners in Power: Living in Kinky Relationships, The Compleat Slave: Creating and Living an Erotic Dominant/Submissive Lifestyle, Different Loving : A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission, The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities, Bitch Goddess: The Spiritual Path of the Dominant Woman, The Compleat Slave: Creating and Living an Erotic Dominant/Submissive Lifestyle, A Hand in the Bush: The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting, The Art of Seduction and Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook.
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