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seeking answers - 4/5/2005 4:05:18 PM

willy124

Posts: 9
Joined: 4/5/2005
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i guess i am curious if it is really possible to have a D/s relationship oner the internet. my lifestyle at this time will not aloow for r/t relationship. i am married with a family, my job requires that i be forceful and quite frankly it isn't me. i am being drawn to the submissiive lifestyle, and i am really nneed of answer and guidance. i would like some information whether i wil ever be able to find someone on line or if it is even possible to do this over a long distance. i would very much appreciate any assitance anyn ecan provide...thank you for your time...i know it is valuable

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RE: seeking answers - 4/5/2005 4:48:43 PM

LoneGoddess

Posts: 73
Joined: 1/1/2005
From: Moscow, Idaho
Status: offline

No, I've always found it a waste of time. It does absolutely nothing for me to not have flesh to play with. And odds are good that if you do find one who wants to play online, she isn't real either. Good bet she'd be a "money Domme" and expect tribute for your play times. However, that's what you qualify for generally speaking.

Professionals for the most part have professional relationships, be they online or in person wherein they mutually beneficial. As a former professional, I will say that a boy being married was an automatic disqualifier for a personal relationship, as he cpuld not be absolutely devoted to me at the level I expect in my personal relationships. Can't very well serve ALL of my needs for love and affection, time and attention (or god forbid marry me) when there's a wife and family who need to be taken care of in the picture.

Mutually beneficial in the professional world, means a boy pays $ (or barters something else of value) for his part time, intermittent submissive status with his Mistress. As submission alone (believe me if we gave it away, they'd be lined up around the block) isn't a trade off for love and respect, or even the personal relationship that I know I want in life. I want what a boy like you cannot offer, my own marriage to that Mr. Right Submissive. I can bet a more than a few ladies of the dominant persuasion will agree with me.

I recommend you seek a professional, at least you'll know what you're paying for.

~LG

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RE: seeking answers - 4/5/2005 5:47:40 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: willy124

i guess i am curious if it is really possible to have a D/s relationship oner the internet. my lifestyle at this time will not aloow for r/t relationship. i am married with a family, my job requires that i be forceful and quite frankly it isn't me. i am being drawn to the submissiive lifestyle, and i am really nneed of answer and guidance. i would like some information whether i wil ever be able to find someone on line or if it is even possible to do this over a long distance. i would very much appreciate any assitance anyn ecan provide...thank you for your time...i know it is valuable

Yes, online relationships can work and be very hot, and often satisfy an itch. However, they can also leave you wanting more, and what started as a harmless adventure on the internet could lead to phone calls and eventual infidelity if the little taste leaves you aching for more.

But finding a partner will be difficult.

You are going to run into a lot of obstacles in your search. First, you state that you are married, and some femdoms don't want to get involved with a married man. You did not state whether or not you have to "hide" the femdom relationship from your wife -- if so, add another strike against you, as that will scare away even more potential online mates.

There are a lot of male submissives on the net looking for partners, many of whom are not cheating on their wives. If given the choice, I think most femdoms will choose them over a married man.

You are asking a woman to enter into a relationship with you based on trust, and you openly demonstrate that your own wife can't trust you (if she is not in the loop on this).

There are also a lot of femdoms on the net that have no interest in an online-only relationship.

As another poster warned, be very wary of any femdom on the net eager to jump into an online relationship right off the bat, who does not care at all about your marriage, and starts soliciting you for gifts or money. Worst case scenario, it might even be a man.

Akasha

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RE: seeking answers - 4/6/2005 5:39:59 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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It's possible to have an online affair, but don't have the same expectations as you do for offline. Cyber is limiting and has many different dynamics than offline. As well, they tend to go stale if they are not supported by SOME sort of offline meetings, so you can expect that over time.

Otherwise, treat them just like rt.

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RE: seeking answers - 4/6/2005 12:12:33 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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There has been a lot of discussion on this topic on these forums, with diverse views on it. Here are a few of the threads that might help you.

online D/s

"serving" online

online relationships

can one truly submit online

You may also want to check out some of the threads on converting a vanilla spouse. Good luck with it.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

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RE: seeking answers - 4/6/2005 2:13:22 PM

Seductress

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There are people who carry on relationships online, they as you have no other means of exploring this side of life. Be honest with who you approach to your home life situation. Before persuing a relationship, I suggest you do a little background into D/s. Go into the rooms, read online resources, get a feel for the terms and ask people who are living it about their general experiences. It takes alot of work to keep an online affair going. Also keep in mind, if you are searching for a fem dom, the odds are entirely stacked in her favor about 20 to 1. That is a modest estimate. Don't go into expecting to have her carter to you. If you are chosing to use the internet know your words are all you have to express yourself with and don't forget the manners you were taught as a child and use them.
Seductress

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RE: seeking answers - 4/6/2005 9:40:13 PM

willy124

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Thank you for your response to my e-mail...and the links to other discussons i have checked someof them out and will look at them all...they are all pertinent to my problems and issues...i thank you for your assistance it is appreciated...

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RE: seeking answers - 4/6/2005 9:43:19 PM

willy124

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i thank you Ma'am for your response i am hoping for a bit more...maybe i will get lucky...but i understand that the road before me is not going to be easy...and i will have many setbacks...but i will simply try my best and continue on ...

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RE: seeking answers - 4/6/2005 9:49:19 PM

willy124

Posts: 9
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i thank you Ma'am for you response...i do understand te enormous hurdles that i wil have to get over...it is not an esy raod i have chosen .. or tht has chosen me..i'm not sure. i will continue onward though...in this path...because i am being drawn down it... hope fuly it will not be a hard as you depic but i surmise that you are right in your analysis. but i think i am up to the challenge and will do the best i can....in hopes of finding what i am seeking...thank you very much again for your response

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RE: seeking answers - 4/6/2005 9:52:46 PM

willy124

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i thank you for your insights, ma'am...i fully intend to be completely honest and upfront about my situation...i can not do anything else. i realize what you are saying and i know i have chosen a difficlt path to travel...i will continue...thanks again

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RE: seeking answers - 4/6/2005 10:45:47 PM

FelinePersuasion

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Joined: 11/20/2004
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It's possible, but It's very hollow and leaves a lot lacking. Plus If I was A domme looking for a sub slave I would not choose someone who was married and couldn't give me anything more than just online. I do real time only, using the pc as a way to meet locals as well as munches.

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Post #: 11